Euphemism in advertising officially died this decade. Nothing is just "squeezably soft" any more; it's all "your bottom" this, and "tush" that, and "our product is superior when it comes to removing poop from your butt."

Andrew Adam Newman reports: Corporations are helping you, the consumer, learn that your butt could probably use a little wet wipe down there, if you know what the corporation is saying.

"It's a pretty straightforward way of speaking to consumers and letting them know how best to use the products together to get cleaner," said Jack Rubin, a Charmin brand manager. "To my knowledge it is the most clearly that we have laid it out so far."

Any clearer and it's called "kink."