Haiti? Old. The deficit? Boring. America's most important news story today: The fat Jets coach flipped the bird to the camera. Could this be the most inane New York Post cover of the decade thus far? It does have competition.

January 13: A column about how Obama hates New York merits 2/3 of the cover. This man's made-up opinion is twice as important as the Conan O'Brien news. Obvs. Other things that could have been reported on this day: An earthquake strikes Haiti.

*WARNING: THE REMAINDER OF THE DECADE HAS BEEN SOLELY ABOUT THE NEW YORK JETS.* January 23: Breaking—The coach of the New York Jets is a portly man. Other things that could have been reported on this day: The UK raises its terrorism threat level to "severe;" Barack Obama questions China's role in the cyber-attacks.

January 24: The Post manages to connect the New York Jets to the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal, and probably wins a bet. Other things that could have been reported on this day: Haiti announces its earthquake death toll; Joe Biden visits Iraq.

January 25: Cops tase guy at Jets game! (The Post generally supports police taserings, but not of Jets fans). Also, the fact that the favored Colts beat the Jets as expected was stunning. Other things that could have been reported on this day: Earthquake aftershocks hit Haiti; Osama bin Laden claims responsibility for the underwear bomber.