One is a Cambridge-educated starlet. The other is an "ink-stained hellcat" who kissed and told. Tabloid coincidence and famous actresses' husbands bring them together. Alec Baldwin gets in a homophobic/homoerotic war of words. Thursday gossip is full of surprises.

  • The story about Sandra Bullock's husband Jesse James cheating with "ink-stained hellcat" Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee must be true, because Sandy bailed on the British premiere of The Blind Side to deal with undisclosed personal issues, and has moved out of the house she shares with Jesse. Bad as I feel for Sandy, there is a certain karmic order to this, since Bullock threw all of her famous actress might into getting Jesse's ex-wife's child custody revoked, primarily by smearing the mother for being a trashy tattooed porn star. Bombshell McGee's nickname for Jesse is "Vanilla Gorilla" because he was "well endowed." Didn't one of Jared Diamond's books say gorillas have very small penises, though? Something about sperm competition and territorial tendencies. [NYPost] [DailyMail] [People]
  • In other unholy matrimony news, the Gods of Tabloid provide someone to blame the Winslet-Mendes divorce on: Rebecca Hall, the pretty girl who was not Scarlett Johansson in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Hall met Sam Mendes on the set of 2006's Starter for 10, which he executive produced. Now he's been "squiring" the 27-year-old Brit around Manhattan. "When Kate found out that Sam had grown close to Rebecca, she was upset. Rebecca is totally Sam's type—a thespian mix of brains and beauty." She went to Cambridge and her dad is a knight. Conclusions: (1.) If I were Kate, I'd throw a tantrum of the "squiring" of this ridiculously lovely lady, too. (2) Rebecca must be annoyed to become a coincidental "in other news" to the shitshow that is Bullock-Gorilla-Bombshell. Especially since the Mendes-Hall rumor is still pretty weak. Anyway, here's a picture of Rebecca and Sam. Sense chemistry? [NYPost]
  • Alec Baldwin is locked in a battle royale with the National Enquirer's Mike Walker, who reported that Baldwin screamed at Tina Fey on the set of 30 Rock. Baldwin responded by calling Walker a "whore" and a "queen." Walker responded by calling Baldwin a "Raging Closet HOMOPHOBE!" So Baldwin called Walker a "goat-footed, wheezy, old queen, and all my male lovers agree with me." Then they grabbed each other by the shirt collars and faces and mashed their mouths together the way aroused angry people do in movies. Normal humans don't do this, but Hollywood is different. [P6]
  • Wandering around drug stores in the middle of the night with no shirt on, Corey Feldman explained his high-as-a-hot-air-balloon memorial tattoo on camera. It involves floating eyes, numerology, a cover-up of another shitty tattoo, and a field of light purple clouds that resemble varicose veins. [TMZ]
  • Speaking of Corey Haim: An arrest has been made in his illegal prescription drug ring, although not someone he knew directly. Haim's family continue to deny Corey's involvement, the quantity of pills he took, and the claim that his death was an overdose. [CNN]
  • A 1992 Helmut Newton photo of French First Lady Carla Bruni "pantsless" and "bending over and showing her shapely derriere" hits the auction block today and is valued at $7500. Hopefully the president of some other country buys it, because how awkward would that be at diplomatic summits? Bonjour, Sarkozy. Let's do a photo op beside this picture of your wife's butt, s'il vous plait. [P6]
  • Porn star and Tiger Woods mistress Joslyn James is releasing her Tiger sexts at 11AM EST on sextingjoslynjames.com. Better four months late than never? [TMZ]
  • "Chris Rock spotted toting mystery tot," evidence perhaps of 2006's "untrue rumors and lies" about divorce and/or a love child? But, are we really going to freak out every time Chris Rock touches a child that is not demonstrably his? That seems inefficient. [P6]
  • Fox is reportedly "applying pressure" on affiliates to put Conan O'Brien in the 11PM slot. Just when I was starting to enjoy unemployed bearded Conan. [TMZ]
  • Anna Wintour spawn Bee Shaffer was the victim of two fake Twitter accounts. @iambeeshaffer has already been shut down, but @beeshafer317 is still up. And, peculiarly, locked. What's the point of a fake Twitter account that nobody can see? [P6]
  • Kevin Costner and wife Christine Baumgartner Costner are expecting their third child in June. Hayes Logan and Cayden are 1 and 2; Costner's children by his ex-wife Cindy are 25, 23, and 22, and his son by ex-girlfriend Bridget Rooney is 13. Kevin Costner's seed hath sowed two generations. [NYDN]