Lindsay Lohan claims she was framed with drugs! Was Megan Fox fired for being too skinny? Matt Lauer did not sleep with this women. Saturday's Gossip Round Up is pretty from far but far from pretty.

  • Remember that photo that showed Lindsay Lohan partying at Cannes with friends and a table-ful of mysterious white powder? Turns out she was framed, she says! Let us examine the evidence. Evidence for a set up: When Radar called LiLo and asked her about the powder, she said "That's a set up that's so untrue." She even has an idea of who set her up. Also, why would Lilo leave so much cocaine just sitting there? Hell, that probably isn't even the real Lilo in the picture. Haven't you ever seen The Parent Trap? Evidence for actual coke party: Every detail of Lindsay Lohan's biography. So, reader, you be the judge! Speaking of judges: It doesn't really matter what that photo shows, because the judge won't allow it to be a factor in Lindsay's case. [Radar][TMZ]
  • Britney Spears is having meltdowns again involving cutting off her hair. Accordng to In Touch Weekly this happened at Disneyland: She and her boyfriend, Jason Trawick had a fight. Then she locked herself into the hotel room. Then she got scissors, and when cleaners came into the room "so much hair had been flushed down the toilet, it was blocked." Really brings you back, right? Britney Spears is kind of like Samson, losing his golden locks, except instead of losing superhuman strength Britneyloses her mind. [Celebitchy]
  • Naomi Campbell's boyfriend is throwing her a $1 million 40th birthday party tonight. Most of that money is going to a giant diamond made of the finest blood and broken dreams.[P6]
  • Former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star James Marsters got engaged! [People]
  • Alleged Matt Lauer-Schtupper, the singer Alexis Houston denied that she schtupped Matt Lauer. On the sidewalk. Next to celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred who was recently running around with that porn star who slept with Tiger Woods. So, this story is probably done now. [P6]
  • Men behave badly too. Take the case of Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, who is sort of the Robert Mugabe of the porn world. He's been accused of assaulting women yet again. This time he attacked two employees at his film company after he discovered one of them was calling the media and dishing about how shitty the company was. Keep this up, Joe, and you'll earn Douche of Decade in 2020, too.[Radar]
  • Was Megan Fox fired from Transformers 3 for being too skinny? This is apparently what sparked the big fight which led to Megan Fox no longer being in the film. So, now skinny actresses are having as hard a time getting work as fat ones. Progress! [Sun]
  • Oh, but here's a story about how Padma Lakshmi was feeling pressured to lose her baby weight to film Top Chef. So, sexism is real. [US]
  • Man, Bret Michaels really wants to be on the Celebrity Apprentice finale. Even with a freaking hole in his heart he plans on attending the live taping.[NYDN]
  • Oh words: So fungible and slippery, like little tadpoles of meaning. Here is how Real Housewife of New Jersey Danielle Staub describes her careeras a prostitute in her new book:

  • I wasn't a prostitute! I was paid to establish relationships. I ended up having physical relationships with two men.

  • Makes sense. I'm not a writer, I just get paid to create sentences. (Though I imagine Danielle was better at establishing physical relationships than I am at creating sentences.) [Celebitchy]
  • There is another Kendra Wilkinson sex—er, physical relationship-establishment tape. This one is with a woman. Finally! [Radar]

(Pic via Splash)