Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

  • Christina Aguilera recently canceled her summer tour. Sure, nobody goes to concerts anymore but Christina's got a new album out and she was huge in the 90s—I mean, even Third Eye Blind is going on tour these days. Sadly (?) we may live in a post-Christina Aguilera world. People are calling her a "Lady Gaga knockoff"; her album has only sold 200,000 copies in five weeks; now her label is trash talking her behind her back: "The label has done its part, but she's headstrong. There have been candid conversations between her and the label about connectivity." Christina's buddies with Kim Kardashian now, who has made an entire career of being talentless. Time to get some tips. [P6]
  • Some might say The Situation is priceless. MTV says he's worth $27,500-$45,000 an episode. That's how much they are offering him for Season 4 of Jersey Shore, a good-sized raise from the $10,000/episode he made for Season 2 and 3. [TMZ]
  • This one goes out to all the Big Lebowski Fans. Bruce Willis is in a fight with a man who claims Willis spilled wine on an expensive Italian rug. Willis was "road testing" the $27,700 rug in his apartment. Normally, we'd be skeptical of road testing a rug, but if it's as expensive as a car it might be a good idea. Willis says he kept the rug clean, then returned it. Guess he didn't like the rug. [TMZ]
  • If you thought just because the World Cup was over we'd never hear about soccer players or their sex lives again, you thought wrong. Landon Donovan—the man who briefly delayed America's disappointment by scoring an incredible goal in the first round—was spotted partyin at Aria Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, "giving his number out like a business card to every female who recognized him," according to Page Six. And Portugese star Christiano Ronaldo is getting back with his girlfriend, model Irina Shayk. Soccer! Isn't it sexy? [P6][P6]
  • Lindsay Lohan is currently chilling out in rehab before she goes to jail. (Hopefully she'll use the time to quit smoking, since she won't be able to in jail.) Dina Lohan showed up with an assistant, lugging a huge bag of groceries. And Samantha Ronson visited, too. She was complying with a court order to get back together with Lilo because they were so cute together. [Radar]
  • Mel Gibson's family is sticking by him during this whole ordeal. Robyn Gibson—father to Mel's seven kids— filed an affidavit in support of him. [People]
  • Ooooooooooh. Jennifer Aniston was spotted out with a mystery man at the SoHo house in West Hollywood. Actually, he looks like just some normal good-looking dude, but in the tabloids anyone who isn't George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Ryan Reynolds is a "mystery man." Which means someone like you or me literally does not exist in that universe—we're the dark matter of humanity; theoretically we exist, but we've yet to be directly observed. They drank wine and shared a hamburger and then probably went home to do it. [Daily Mail]