Bullshit-spouting fancy juice maker POM is currently locked in a battle with the FTC over its right to tell you about the made-up things pomegranate juice does for you. So, no better time to debut those fake sex-aid claims, right?

Despite the fact that the FTC specifically cited POM's false claims about "erectile health," the company's going ahead with the rollout of its new ad campaign that insinuates that POM will totally...let you have sex with snakes?

Does eating pomegranates really improve one's sex life?

"I certainly believe it does," says Lynda Resnick, the billionaire co-owner along with her husband, Stewart Resnick, of the POM Wonderful brand. POM's TV spots - narrated by Malcolm McDowell- aren't in response to the FTC, she says, but to competition from Coke and Pepsi, which are slipping small amounts of pomegranate juice into new beverages and stealing market share.

So, either contemplate Lynda and Stewart Resnick's (pictured) sex life in vivid detail; or, meditate on the possibility that the Coke and Pepsi corporations are trying to give you a boner without you even knowing it. Disturbing, either way.

[USA Today]