Try going to your favorite website, GOP.com — home of the Republican National Committee — now. It should redirect you to a site named "The Gift of Christmas Future." This is what donations to the Republican party are called now.

This is a confusing fundraising pitch from the Republicans, supposedly the warrior-protectors of Christmas' sanctity. Why not just ask for some cash, straight up? Instead we're given this obfuscatory run-around:

This Christmas, preserve that blessing by giving them the same gift your parents and grandparents gave you: the gift of Christmas future. By making a contribution to the Republican National Committee, you'll be providing the resources that we need to continue to protect the America you know and love. You'll also be ensuring that your children and grandchildren will be able to give future generations the same Christmas you've given them.

We think that this is saying, "Give us money to stop the Democrats from destroying Christmas forever, which is what they want to do." And if you do donate, the RNC allows you to "print out or email a certificate recognizing your generous gift of a Christmas future." Joy!

Still, this is a good tactic, trying to frame "donations that we will blow on booze and strippers" as "the gift of Christmas future." What are you, dear reader, asking of your loved ones for Christmas? As much cash as possible, right? Just call it "the gift of Christmas future," direct the request to your most gullible relative, and promise some shitty Microsoft Publisher certificate in return.

[via Ben Smith]