Mila Kunis faces an onslaught of obnoxious break-up rumors. David Arquette goes to rehab. Lindsay Lohan's court-ordered rehab ends. (And her freely chosen rehab begins.) Bieber and Selena make out on a yacht. Monday gossip abandons auld acquaintances.

  • Now that Macalay Culkin and Mila Kunis have broken up, cue the inevitable onslaught of Is she too successful for love? speculation: "Did Mila Kunis' breakout role in Black Swan contribute to a breakup for the actress, who's flirting with movie stardom?" It's like every romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon ever: You say the word "career," and poof!, men disappear. All we need now is a rumor tying this to Natalie Portman's engagement, including one of the following words: "jealous," "competitive," "catfight." [P6, Us, image via Getty]
  • Lindsay Lohan is legally allowed to leave rehab today, but has decided to extend her stay until the weekend, at least. Apparently she is "taking precautions before reentering day-to-day life." [TMZ]
  • After partying at the Roosevelt Hotel on New Year's Eve, loquacious trainwreck David Arquette checked himself into rehab for alcoholism. Estranged wife Courteney Cox said she "admire[s]" the choice and continues to love and support him. [TMZ, People]

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez spent the New Year making out on a private yacht in the Caribbean, which is the teen multimillionaire mega-star version of making out in the back seat of your mom's station wagon. One question, however, remains: As images emerge of this 16-year-old superstar getting handsy with his 18-year-old girlfriend, should we feel super pervy about watching this unfold, or just slightly pervy? Selena is the same age Britney was when she went public with Timberlake, which was the same year Brit performed at the VMA's in a flesh-colored body suit, so… hmm… I have no idea what that means, but will settle for "uneasy curiosity." [MTV, JJ]

  • The guy selling Miley Cyrus' salvia bong set up a gmail account to help him organize the sale of this momentous piece of stoner history: mileycyrusbong@gmail.com. He's hoping for "five figures." [TMZ]
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor needs to have her right leg amputated from the knee down to prevent the spread of an infection. Her husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, says "she is strong," and Zsa Zsa's spokesperson said the duo celebrated the New Year at home with champagne and caviar. [People]

Fame thing Kim Kardashian on broadcasting every detail of her life, as a career: "If there's something that we're going through, it's going to get out anyway. It'll be on the cover of a tabloid, and it'll be twisted the completely wrong way. So why not tell our story?" We seem to have fallen into a "chicken or egg" scenario regarding Kardashian stardom. [Glamour, JJ]

  • Sighting: "Ryan Seacrest causing excitement at Saks Fifth Avenue while shopping for a fedora and the 'perfect' dress for a friend." [P6]
  • Brangelina donated $2 million to a Namibian wildlife sanctuary for Christmas. What have you done to spread joy on earth lately, hmm? [AP]
  • Pamela Anderson is safe after a crazed fan confronted her on a train in London, then got violent during a confrontation with the cops. It ended with the deployment of pepperspray and an uncomfortable-looking arrest. [TMZ]
  • Actress and beloved middle-aged person Valerie Bertinelli tied the knot with her boyfriend of seven years. Mazel tov! [People]