People fossils! Dinosaur fossils! Sexy science! Cheating ladies! Lucky black hearts! Weights losing weight! Faraway planets! Implant perils! Monster alfalfa! And black holes that trip you out! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—with forgiveness!

  • Newly discovered stone tools near the Persian Gulf suggest that humans left Africa more than 120,000 years ago, rather than 50,000 years ago as previously thought. I guess they made their way back eventually! Haha.
  • Also a new fossilized dinosaur bone appears to prove that dinosaurs survived on Earth 700,000 years after scientists thought they had gone extinct. Boy, scientists sure do suck.
  • A ***scientific study*** (survey of college kids) reveals that "Half of men would forgive their female partner's infidelity as long as it was with another woman." As long as they walked in and caught them in the act.
  • Why is your lady cheating on you in the first place? Probably because she's at her "peak fertility" time which means she's an irresistible sex monster. Sorry, not for you though.
  • A quarter of black Americans have a gene that drastically lowers the risk of heart disease. What more do these people want???
  • The little piece of metal that is the standard for how much a kilogram weighs has a little problem: it's been losing weight. Over the past 120 years, it's lost the weight of a grain of sand. Uh, don't say you're on a "diet" if that's the best you can do, Cindy.
  • Astronomers are about to release data on "hundreds of possible planets circling other stars," far far away, so far that nothing that happens there could ever influence my life in the least, which is reason enough to stop wasting time writing about it.
  • Do breast implants give you cancer? Why wouldn't they?
  • Soon you'll be eating genetically modified alfalfa. Yea and a side effect of it is it makes you grow an arm out of your forehead, but also it's more nutritious (we heard somewhere).
  • When a black hole reaches its fullest level of maturity, it enters into a "time-independent" state, meaning it exists outside of time. Dude.

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