Lindsay Lohan says the jewelry store that filed grand theft charges against her keeps changing their story. Scarlett Johansson is supposedly diddling Sean Penn, Jennifer Aniston wants to move to New York, and Pete Wentz is getting divorced against his will. Thursday's gossip makes bad decisions.

  • Naturally there's more drama in the latest Lindsay Lohan Is Going to Jail scare. The jewelry store that charged her with grand theft for swiping a necklace says that she walked out of the store wearing a pair of earrings just a day before the incident in question. Lindsay's new defense is that the jewelry store's story has been inconsistent. The police report has the owner of the store on record saying surveillance footage shows Lindsay putting the necklace in her purse, but the official version of the story is she walked out of the store while wearing it. One of these parties will win, but we're all going to lose. [TMZ, Radar]
  • It seems all but official that Scarlett Johansson, 26, is getting it on with paparazzi puncher Sean Penn, 50. Eww. Making out with Sean Penn has got to be gross, sort of like licking a sweaty football. [Us Weekly]
  • Jennifer Aniston wants to move to New York. God, this city has enough trouble as it is, the last thing we need is one more sad, old single lady standing in line at Magnolia waiting for a cupcake and someone to love her. [Us Weekly]
  • Those notorious "sources" close to rocker Pete Wentz say that he didn't want to get divorced from Ashlee Simpson, and that she filed the papers against his will. Can you believe that she's the one dumping him? [TMZ]
  • Ricky Martin isn't selling as many concert tickets as he used to, and his shows have been plagued by empty seats. Someone should send us some tickets, we'll sit wherever Ricky tells us to. [P6]
  • Halle Berry's ex Gabriel Aubry is custody happy! Not only is he fighting his Oscar-winning ex for control of their daughter, he also fought with another former flame, model Marianne Trudel, over custody of their dog, a miniature pinscher, after they split. He had joint custody of the dog until he married Halle. Let's hope he doesn't similarly abandon his daughter! [P6]
  • Kathy Griffin says that when she's in town doing a week on Broadway in March she wants to have an affair with Mayor Michael Bloomberg. She does like them smart—and rich. [P6]
  • Winter's Bone star and Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence says in a new interview that she's attracted to her brother. Creppy. Good thing she's dating X-Men: First Class co-star Nicholas Hoult. Getting it on with her brother and dating co-stars—hey, it worked for Angelina Jolie! [NYDN]
  • Kelsey and Camille Grammer's divorce will be finalized today. May the aftermath play out on reality TV shows for years to come! [TMZ]

[Image via Getty]