Chris Brown explains the emergence of a naked self-portrait: "Girls be reckless." Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing in New York. For the price of 15 minutes with a high-end hooker, you can now meet Charlie Sheen. TGIFriday gossip.

  • Chris Brown admits that this NSFW bathroom mirror iPhone picture of his horse-sized dick is, in fact, real. "It was an out of the shower shot. It was like, 'hey what's up,' the 'look at me now.' I was alone but I wasn't even excited." Translation: Yes, my flaccid dick is really that big. "It's whatever, man. I'm comfortable with my body." Translation: Seriously, did you see how big my dick is? Big. He concludes by explaining how the picture landed in the public eye: "Girls be reckless." Translation: Yes, I also am a big dick. [JJ, NSFW WSHH P6, images via Getty and WSHH]
  • Despite the great strides Chris is making for gender equality in the genre of naked scandals, every Hollywood celebrity targeted by the naked-picture-seeking "hacking ring" currently under FBI investigation is female. The latest victims: Jessica Alba, Demi Lovato (these pictures?), Selena Gomez, Christina Aguilera (these pictures?). The hackers also went after some unnamed "politicians and sports stars," some of whom may have been male. Hackers: The new paparazzi? Discuss. [TMZ]
  • Charlie Sheen reportedly threatened ex-wife Denise Richards with violence when she refused to let him pose for photographs with their daughters. If you'd like to meet this charming gentleman, the price is only $750 for meet-and-greet tickets to Violent Torpedo of Truth, his upcoming stage show. [Us, L&S]
  • Billy Ray Cyrus withdrew his divorce papers. The devil may have destroyed his family, but the valiant crusader of the land of Mullet would not let evil prevail. [TMZ]
  • Lindsay Lohan's pre-trial "quiet time" in New York has consisted of the following: Clubbing, clubbing, clubbing and kissing a "mystery man," clubbing with the guy from The A-List who brags about being her bestie, clubbing and drinking only water, clubbing with Tyson Beckford, hanging out with Samantha Ronson at the Standard Hotel, clubbing with a Knicks basketball player, and going to a Knicks game with her siblings. Little brother Cody has Bieber hairdo. [P6, E!]
  • Twilight actress Ashley Greene took rumored Jonas Brother rebound boyfriend, Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill, to meet her dad. Afterwards she strapped Jared to her back and ran around the treetops, which is the vampire equivalent of yawning and stretching your arm around your date's back. [E!]
  • Remember that painfully student-fashion-designer simulation-of-sexy see-through lace dress Kate Middleton wore at a fashion show in college? It sold for $125,900 in a charity auction, because that's how perfect Kate Middleton is: Even her most embarrassing moments do good. [People]
  • In other do-good news, Sandra Bullock donated $1 million to the Red Cross' earthquake and tsunami relief. Good! [CNN]
  • Mel Gibson's mug shot for pleading "no contest" to battering ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva is out. This time around, he doesn't even look scary, just sad. [TMZ]