Well, at least Miley is no longer the most embarrassing member of the Cyrus family (for now). Witness her dad Billy Ray's collaboration with Dionne Warwick's hip-hop rappin' son (says Complex) Buck 22, "Achy Breaky 2." Buck's first verse speaks of a chance meeting with Cyrus and concludes that this song happened because "I'd rather be lucky than good." Is that self-aware trolling I detect?
Billy Ray Cyrus was on Good Morning America this morning to talk about the GQ article that got him in hot water, and how fame has changed his family.
Walking haircut Billy Ray Cyrus stopped by The View to discuss how fame has destroyed his family. Word of advice, Billy Ray? Things won't get better if you keep giving interviews about your daughter on national television.
Chris Brown explains the emergence of a naked self-portrait: "Girls be reckless." Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing in New York. For the price of 15 minutes with a high-end hooker, you can now meet Charlie Sheen. TGIFriday gossip.
Miley Cyrus snaps at a paparazzo. Christina Aguilera returns to the scene of her public intoxication. Lindsay Lohan prepares for her big day in court. Brangelina's children "turn violent." Thursday gossip wonders what Lindsay Lohan will wear to court today.
The most beautiful woman in the world has the ugliest laugh. Justin Bieber sprains his knee. Lindsay Lohan forgoes painkillers. Katy Perry's married life is like "a sitcom." Friday gossip needs a better laugh track.
Kim Kardashian shifts the attention from her ass to her feet. Pink advocates "beat[ing] the crap outta kids." Brett Michaels denies boinking Miley's mom. Demi Lovato's dad bemoans Disney. The bigger Wednesday gossip gets, the harder it falls.
The nude woman who got Charlie Sheen hospitalized says he hit her and has hired a lawyer. Billy Ray Cyrus gets a divorce. David Arquette cried during his first post-Courteney sexual encounter. Thursday gossip shall overcome.
Mitch Winehouse offers charming new details about his daughter's breasts; Adam Lambert fires back at Out magazine's editor; Miley Cyrus literally dresses like a whore. Friday's gossip is losing its sense of irony, but makes up for it with cleavage.
• After another wild day in court, Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook settled their latest round of legal issues yesterday. But not before Brinkley called her ex an "extreme narcissist," and Cook returned the favor by telling reporters she was an "angry, bitter, vindictive woman." At least it's nice to know they still have feelings for each other, though! [NYP, NYDN]
• As easy as it is to picture Courtney Love sitting in front of her computer punching numbers into an Excel spreadsheet, it turns out she may not be the best financial planner in the world. Love owes $300K in back taxes, according to the government. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is and he plans to reveal all in an effort to "save" his daughter. So who is he? "He has no job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." Call us crazy, but supplying "everyone" in LA sounds like a pretty good job to us. [Radar, NYDN]
• Get ready to see a lot more of Megan Fox dressed in, well, not much: Giorgio Armani has tapped her to star in his new underwear ad campaign. [WWD]
Gossip Girl's Blake Lively turns 22 today. Rachael Ray is turning 41. Regis Philbin is 78. Rachel Bilson is turning 28. Supermodel Claudia Schiffer turns 39. Sean Connery is turning 79. Director Tim Burton is 51. Rock star-turned-reality TV character Gene Simmons is 60. Actor Blair Underwood is turning 45. Theater producer Marc Routh turns 47. Disgraced media mogul Conrad Black will celebrate his 65th birthday behind bars today. And country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, who may be better known these days as the father of Miley Cyrus, is turning 48.
♦ Things are going from bad to worse for Damon Dash and Rachel Roy: Three months after a bank foreclosed on their two Tribeca condos, Dash's Chevy Tahoe was seized this week after he failed to make the monthly lease payments. Does this mean he's already lost his Maybach? [NYDN]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were supposedly getting engaged yesterday. Today the relationship is supposedly "heading for choppy waters," because Lindsay wants to "explore her heterosexuality." [The Sun]
♦ How is Lindsay's publicist explaining her client's description of Barack Obama earlier this week as the country's first "colored President"? She says no one knows what LiLo really said, since it was "unintelligible." [MSNBC]
♦ Katie Holmes is supposedly refusing to move back to LA after she's finished on Broadway. Why? Because she doesn't get dragged to as many Scientology events when she's in NYC. [NYDN]
When it comes to satisfying their children's tween dreams, Barack and Michelle Obama have been fairly generous, arranging a Jonas Brothers meet-and-greet on the set of Ellen that found Joe practicing his phone breakup techniques on Malia and left Sasha, weirdly, with a purity ring on her left thumb. Still, there's one place that even the Obamas deem too frightening for their girls: the set of Hannah Montana! After Billy Ray Cyrus issued an invitation for the younger Obamas to make an appearance on the show that was greeted with a firm "Uh...," Miley's father attempted a retraction tinged with some unexpected advice:
