Weekends now serve no other purpose than to tease the entire American nation for two horrible days before each week's new Fox and Friends segment, Monday Mornings with Trump. Well we've got this week's clip!

Trump calls in to respond to top White House political strategist David Plouffe, who said yesterday that Trump has "zero chance" of winning the presidency. Not true, Trump sneers, before sharing a story with all the trappings of pure fiction: Obama's big "contributors" tell Trump that the White House doesn't want to run against him. He's the last guy they want to face. Anyone but Trump!

Then, some econo-talk. China's stealing everything. This Obama, he can't cut a deal, he's never cut a deal in his life. Trump, he'll get those credit card call centers back from India. He'll get that deficit down "quickly," too.

And finally, a recap of last night's Celebrity Apprentice. Mark McGrath had to go; Gary Busey is still in.