Ding dong Bin Laden's gone, and I know what you're thinking: What does Paris Hilton have to say? And why did The Rock know about Bin Laden's death before everyone else did? Monday gossip has questions.

  • Now that America has vanquished her most nefarious foe, Osama bin Laden, it is time to turn to America's greatest natural resource, celebrities, for reactions on America's most superficial medium, Twitter. Here's what Paris Hilton said: "Just landed back in LA, so happy to hear the news of Osama bin Laden's death. He was the face of terrorism and such an evil man. The world is a much better place with him not in it." Charlie Sheen: "Dead or Alive. WE PREFER DEAD! Well done SEAL team! AMERICA: #WINNING that's how we roll.... C" Jim Carrey: "Wow! They killed the Boogieman! I felt something was in the air tonight! Bin Laden era over! S'next? ?;^•" John Stamos: "'I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.' ~Mark Twain #godblessallservicemen/women" Mostly, I'm just glad to have an excuse to use the words "Paris Hilton" and "Osama bin Laden" in the same sentence. [RadarOnline, images via Getty and AP]
  • But the undisputed winner of the Osama Bin Laden tweet orgy was Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, who apparently knew about Osama's death before everyone else did: "Just got word that will shock the world - Land of the free…home of the brave DAMN PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!" When lazy President Obama finally got around to announcing it, The Rock concluded, "FINALLY… couldn't have asked for a better birthday present… AMERICA BROUGHT IT — TEAM BRING IT FOREVER PROUD." So, in case you were wondering which Navy SEAL fired the bullet that killed Bin Laden? It was actually The Rock, and he killed that motherfucker with his bare hands while screaming, "Jabroni!" [@TheRock]

Hecklers pelted eggs at Justin Bieber during a concert in Sydney, but our nimble boy hero danced out of their line of fire. No casualties reported, coiffure or otherwire. [NYDN]

  • Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins this weekend, while listening to her song, "We Belong Together." Husband Nick Cannon was so flustered, he accidentally went to the wrong wing of the hospital and had to be escorted to the baby department by a nurse. The babies were born on the couple's third anniversary. The girl was born first, then the boy. [MTV]
  • Original Wonder Woman Lynda Carter is a celebrity trainwreck prevention advocate: "I think the one thing the Screen Actors Guild should do is, when fame first hits you, that you are required to go to therapy. Because everybody loves you. Until you realize, no, they don't really love you. They love the character and the persona." Lasso of truth! [Popeaters]
  • Asked whether he had anything to say about ex-girlfriend January Jones' surprise pregnancy, Jason Sudeikis "stammered," "No, I didn't have anything." [WaPo]
  • Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are finally, officially divorced. Brooke gets $55,000/month in child support, and managed to add a clause to the settlement that "under no circumstances shall the child support paid by Charlie for Bob and Max be less than the child support paid by Charlie to Denise Richards for Sam and Lola." Taking a stand for baby equality. [TMZ]
  • Mariska Hargitay's adopted daughter Amaya Josephine is "so zen and so peaceful. I can't quite believe how easy she's been, her disposition." Detective Olivia Benson: Catcher of bad guys, queller of babies. [People]
  • Cher screened son Chaz Bono's documentary about his sex change, Becoming Chaz, at her home this weekend. "I admire my son Chaz's courage for sharing his personal journey. Most important to me is that he is very happy." [People]
  • Lorenzo Lamas married his fifth wife this weekend. I still can't figure out who this guy is, or why anyone cares, but I have been exposed to his name so many times he's starting to feel like a neighbor or distant cousin, someone you are dimly aware of and vaguely curious about, solely because you have been in his proximity (or his name's proximity) so many times. [Popeater]
  • Broke-ass Nicolas Cage gave his son roundtrip flights on a private jet, four nights at a "four diamond hotel," and a fireworks display as wedding gifts. I wonder if you can put "fireworks" on a registry? [TMZ]