Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress moves to the center of the storm. Did you know she and Maria Shriver had simultaneous pregnancies? Patrick Schwarzenegger is calling himself "Patrick Shriver" now. An exhaustive roundup of all things Schwarze-baby.

  • This morning, Schwarzenegger love-child-gate was all about Maria Shriver. But now, The New York Times reports, "Attention Shifts to Schwarzenegger's Housekeeper." Everyone is publishing pictures of Mildred Patricia "Patty" Baena that they found on her MySpace page. For some reason she hasn't taken the pics down, or altered her profile in any way to acknowledge her newfound infamy. Did she forget this MySpace page exists? Does she not realize we are all looking at it, and her son? Maybe she's too old to know how to delete a social networking profile? Anyway, everyone is looking at poor Patty's photo albums now, including one entitled "My Sexy Self." Her "mood" remains "thoughtful ;)." Pink blingees twinkle into the abyss. [MySpace, NYT, images via Getty and MySpace]
  • The paparazzi are camped out at Patty's house in Bakersfield, California, a place where $250,000 buys you four bedrooms and a swimming pool. The real estate market is pretty good there, no? Patty bought that house last year. [Radar, BakersfieldNow]
  • The child Patty and Arnold had together was born on October 2, 1997 in Burbank, California—five days after Maria Shriver gave birth to Arnold's son Christopher, and 21 days before Patty separated from husband Rogelio Baena. This is straight out of a soap opera, isn't it? [TMZ, NYDN]
  • Speaking of Rogelio Baena, he is listed as the father on Arnold's love child's birth certificate. He and Patty didn't formalize their divorce until 2008, but when they did, the divorce papers said they didn't have children together. Did Arnold's affair with Patty ruin her marriage, too? Technically, her divorce is still pending. Maybe Rogelio is a patient man? [NYDN, People]
  • Meanwhile, Arnold's acting comeback is "on track." His animated "Governator" TV series, comic book, video game, and movie are still pending, and frankly sound a lot more interesting, now. [AP]

Speaking of cartoons, here's the obligatory Taiwanese animation of Arnold's baby mama drama. Title: "The Sperminator." [NMATV]

  • After 14 years of secrets, why is Arnold's love child news come out now? According to a "confidant," Schwarzenegger fired Patty four weeks ago. "Furious" about losing the job, she reportedly "entertained the idea of coming forward and speaking to a magazine." So maybe Arnold was trying to preclude that? But then why did Patty lie to the LA Times when they first called her, saying that there was no love child and that she retired on good terms? Something's rotten in Bakersfield. [Radar]
  • Remember how, when Arnold and Maria first separated, he "gave a statement about his four extraordinary children"? Why would you say that when you're on the cusp of a love child sex scandal?
  • Speaking of the Schwarzenegger kids, son Patrick and daughter Katherine have both tweeted their distress. They appreciate our "love and support." Also, Patrick appears to identify himself as "Patrick Shriver." Has he always done that? He was "Schwarzenegger" when Details profiled him. [@KSchwarzenegger, @PSchwarzenegger]
  • Speaking of Patty's kid, he's the "nicest kid you'll ever meet." When he was a toddler, Arnold posed for a Christmas picture with him and Patty. [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Here's a picture of Patty and Arnold dancing "together." [TMZ]
  • Here's a picture of Patty dressed as a pirate the year that Arnold impregnated her. [TMZ]
  • Here's a thoughtful article about Schwarzenegger's history of "crossing lines" with women, by a former LA Times reporter who helped reveal Arnold's grope victims back in 2003. [ProPublica]
  • Here's an essay entitled "I Met Arnold Schwarzenegger's Housekeeper," by a reporter who once ate a taquito she made. It was kind of crappy, he says. [MyFoxDetroit]