Crystal Harris has perfect timing—it's too late for Hugh Hefner to cancel her issue of Playboy. Aniston moves in with her boyfriend. Emma Watson dates a co-star. Cee-Lo is tired of being famous. Thursday gossip is moving on.

  • 25-year-old Crystal Harris left 85-year-old Hugh Hefner early enough to ruin their televised wedding special (Page Six says Crystal was planning to ditch Hef on the altar, and was trying to auction her first post-runaway interview in the ballpark of $500K) but late enough to be locked in as the cover of Playboy's July issue. She's billed as "America's Princess, Mrs. Crystal Hefner" and poses without panties, in Hef's sex clothes, while smoking his cigar. Tweets Hef, "The breakup is a heart breaker, but better now than after the marriage. Since we're not getting married on Saturday, I've scheduled a movie: Runaway Bride. Seems appropriate." Lying in the baby oil slathered bed he made for himself. [Us, @HughHefner, images via Playboy and Splash]
  • Speaking of Crystal Harris, she is now on a media blitz. As the only 25-year-old in America who has showed her butt in Playboy and been profiled by the New Yorker, she is probably unstoppable. Did I mention she's an aspiring singer/songwriter? [E!, People]
  • Jennifer Aniston's stolen boyfriend moved in with her. Hey, it worked for Brangelina. Congrats, new couple! [Us]
  • Sean Penn's rumored Scarlett Johansson rebound: Garcelle Beauvais. Since Garcelle's main claim to fame, at this point, is a scorched earth mass email comparing her ex to Tiger Woods, you'd need nerves of steel to date her. [E!]
  • Emma Watson might be dating Perks of Being a Wallflower co-star Johnny Simmons. [Hollywood Life]

Christina Aguilera looks like a Renaissance painting in the new W. The internet is divided on whether this is hideous or sexy, but I'm just glad someone finally figured out how to deal with her busted weave. Sometimes you have to go full frizz. [W]

  • Paris Hilton and craven reality TV co-star beloved boyfriend Cy Waits "hit the skids" because "he finds it hard to be in the spotlight." Why is he even in the spotlight? They invented night vision camcorders specifically to deal with this. [P6]
  • The Duggar clan spawned, again. Hide your daughters, cover your quivers, they are spewing babies everywhere and cannot be stopped. [Radar]
  • Selena Gomez's hospitalization for "exhaustion" was because she suffers from the opposite of anorexia: "I do eat. The problem is I don't eat right. I love everything that's possibly not good for me." She subsists primarily on M&M's and KFC. [Mix96.5 via Us]
  • The stage stars of Spider-Man: Turn Off this Terrible Musical, Already are dating each other. Will it be enough to save their doomed show? Of course not. But if he's lucky, Reeve Carney will be famous for something other than near-death experiences by the end of this. [P6]
  • Cee-Lo Green on the "toll of being talented": "To have to talk and talk and talk—it takes a toll on you. There's no way you can avoid people unless you can afford to fly private all the time, and I can't." Poor baby. [Bossip]
  • Why did Ke$ha give away a hit song to Britney Spears? "It really solidifies me as a songwriter in the pop music world, which is what I consider myself first and foremost." Also, she can't stand the sound of her own voice: "When I hear my own songs on the radio I have to kind of turn it down or change the radio or whatever. When I hear [Till the World Ends], I fucking blow the speakers out and I order everybody to dance." [NYMag]
  • Brangelina is in Malta, where their children pillaged a local toy store, buying Barney toys, costumes, and boardgames for all. [People]