Lindsay Lohan buys something on the streets of Venice Beach. Dianna Agron thinks Lindsay is "sad." Gloria Steinem hates on the Kardashians. Rebecca Black says she got bullied out of school. Thursday gossip suspends disbelief.

  • Outside a bar in Venice Beach, Lindsay Lohan made a broad daylight drug buy, in front of the paparazzi, and while seated beside a black man and in the company of a guy with a neck tattoo! Unless, of course, the crystals in that ziploc baggie are ornamental crystals, as opposed to comically large crystals of meth. At the risk of breaking the fourth wall—seriously, paparazzi? You think crack rocks look like the 2-inch things girls wear on necklaces? I'd be willing to bet a few of you were carrying while photographing this episode, so don't play innocent on me.

In this video, you can hear a thousand cameras snapping at the moment Lindsay hands over the cash. "I mean—" the cameraman scoffs, trailing off, only to race after the straw-haired starlet later in the video, shouting "What are you snorting, Lindsay?" At left, a crappier video filmed by someone speaking Spanish. Hopefully whatever he's saying translates to, "Oh those would be cute as earrings."

LiLo's publicist says that the bag contained "sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz, and quartz, all purchased by her pal from a store down the store." Not that ornamental crystals aren't dangerous, too. Didn't Speidi blow hundreds of thousands on those, for their "healing" powers? [X17, P6]

Later in the day, Lindsay went to Mr. Chow and totally showed her nipples. [Image via Pacific Coast News]

  • A very classy robber broke into Amy Winehouse's house and stole "unreleased songs, lyric books, and letters." Thanks for waiting until after they finished sitting shiva. [P6]
  • Gloria Steinem on the Kardashians: "They're not empowering women, but there's no point in blaming the people who take advantage of the system without changing the system." Don't hate the famewhore, hate the game. [Gatecrasher]
  • Rebecca Black is being homeschooled because her classmates bullied her. Also, she needs "more time to focus on her career," which consists of singing songs about being the victim of bullying, which will only succeed if bullies make them go viral on the internet. Rebecca Black is stuck in an infinite loop of bullying? [ABC]
  • Kirstie Alley: "60 is the new 30." She's writing a book about it. Her life is actually a comedy sketch about an over-the-hill diva, right? [P6]
  • George Lopez says Sandra Bullock is his "fairy godmother." After his TV show got canceled, she had team of mice whip together a dazzling outfit to cheer him up. [People]
  • Saved by the Bell star Mark-Paul Gosselaar is engaged to an advertising executive who bears a passing resemblance to Nicolette Sheridan. [People]

Dianna Agron: "It's really sad looking at people like Lindsay Lohan. She's an amazing actress, but you see what happens when people know too much about your personal life." This would be easier to accept if GO NAKED wasn't written across her chest. Not that she writes the cover lines. But still. [Cosmopolitan via HollywoodGossip]

  • Speaking of Dianna Agron, her new haircut is called the "shab," and it is "summer's hottest haircut," "a progression of the bob." So, a messy hairdo you use to hide the fact that you are in the awkward phase of growing out chin-length hair. [Us]
  • The Help star Viola Davis is adopting a baby. [E!]

Perpetually bikini-clad country star LeAnn Rimes gave an in-depth interview to a "bikini blog," and posed for new bikini pictures, and is a professional bikini model, now. She should move to the Bikini Atoll, and listen to Bikini Kill, and declare a BIKINI state. Bikini! Light of LeAnn's life, fire of her Twitter. Her body, her soul. Bi-ki-ni. [E!, MikowSwimwear, image via Mikoh]

  • True Blood star Sam Trammel's wife Missy Yager—who plays one of Betty Draper's friends on Mad Men—gave birth to twins. [E!]