Laughably lame right-wing filmmaker James O'Keefe III is thinking about suing (broke) liberal website Salon "for their false and malicious reporting." I know this because he asked me, an employee at a liberal website he considers his enemy, for advice.

But wait, it gets funnier.

Background: O'Keefe and I are email buddies. I once invited him to come drink with me in New York. "Only if you bring your trademark snark and caustic wit," he quipped. "And you have to promise not to trap me on a rape boat," I replied, then invited him to a party my boss Nick Denton was throwing. "Arianna and Bill Keller will be there," I promised. He never replied. Maybe my "no rape boat" requirement was too restrictive?

The next morning I sent O'Keefe this link to a photo from the party. It showed Denton with Arianna Huffington, Slate editor Jacob Weisberg, Guardian editor Janine Gibson, and Business Insider CEO Henry Blodget. Denton had edited the photo to include statistics on each publication's monthly global visitors.

James didn't immediately reply to that email, either, but apparently it made an impression on him. He plans to use information gleaned from that photo to destroy his foes. (Emphasis mine.)

From: James E. O'Keefe III
To: Maureen O'Connor
Date: Wed, Jan 25, 2012 at 6:48 PM
Subject: Re: Can we actually hang out some time?

Maureen,

I remember you sent me this graphic showing how much money each online media outlet has.

Do you know how much money is behind Salon.com?

I'm talking to an attorney about taking action against media outlets for their false and malicious reporting on our Voter Fraud story.

- James

LOL. He thinks the traffic stats are net worths, and that Nick Denton published a list of the monetary values of people who came to his party and sat on his couch. Admittedly, this is not outside the realm of possibility for a Machiavellian gossip merchant like Denton. But James, honey, you need to read Gawker more carefully: the Huffington Post is worth a lot more money than that.

As for that Salon lawsuit, James declined to comment further. If he still wants to hang, he knows how to reach me. Given O'Keefe's "major credit card debt" situation, I'm even willing to buy.