Garbage Yogurts Face Off Over Which Is Less Garbagey
The Yogurt Wars continue to descend to previously unimaginable depths of depravity. Now Yoplait is touting the fact that it is tastier than Chobani. Fine. Dog poop may be more toothsome than cow shit, but at least it has the decency not to crow about it.
You, the discriminating yogurt consumer, will notice that the marketing thugs at the Yoplait corporation conveniently forgot to compare their bland, soap-like muck to Fage, the actual best brand of Greek yogurt. In this way, Yoplait and Chobani keep up appearances of enmity while in fact conspiring to keep you, the consumer, from discovering the true location of Yogurt Flavor Country.
"It's so much better than Chobani," says the poor misguided sheep who's unwittingly been offered a Sophie's Choice of Yogurt so vile that Pol Pot would not have forced it upon his most hated enemies. Jesus, these people. There is no humanity left in this war.
