Whinging tabloid moralist Andrea Peyser, who is definitely, without a doubt, a 100% red-blooded heterosexual American woman, simply cannot stop thinking about hero athlete Lindsey Vonn being forced to pee in a cup, while being watched by another woman.

The thought of Lindsey Vonn—as part of a random drug test that was sprung on her while she was attending an awards show— being forced to undo her tight, form-fitting dress, slide her panties down her impossibly toned thighs, and pee in full view of another woman, with slightly parted lips and a racing heart, just makes Andrea Peyser so, so, hot, due to the fact that her blood is boiling, solely from anger. "The pee has hit the fan," Andrea writes in her professional newspaper column today. We couldn't agree more.

Lindsey was radiant (right) in a snug-fitting white gown with a plunging neckline designed by Cynthia Rowley, who accompanied her to Lincoln Center.

Mmm. Yes she was. Mmm hmm. High five, Andrea. You know what I'm talking about. What were you saying?

She was told to hike up her custom dress. And while a “drug-control officer of the same gender’’ squished into the narrow stall to observe, Vonn was ordered to urinate.

Wow. Wow. Please give Andrea Peyser a moment. Just... give her a moment, okay? Everything was spinning for a second there. Okay. Andrea Peyser is back. She's just so exercised over this. "In the bathroom," writes Andrea, "Lindsey was forced to strip off not only her underclothes, but her dignity." Her dignity— and her underclothes. Her sheer, sexy underclothes. All the way off. And her dignity, yes, sure, that as well.

Andrea Peyser is strongly opposed to the gay agenda.

[NYP. Photo: Getty]