A new season is dawning, and with it, a new craving in America's soul. A craving for sustenance. A new kind of sustenance. Or, more accurately, a "comically large quantity of McDonald's food items" kind of sustenance.

McDonald's, America's favorite quote restaurant exaggerated wink unquote, is timeless, but every once in a while it likes to "shake things up" in order to give you, the consumer, the illusion of free will. (In fact you will live and die at the whims of socioeconomic forces much greater than yourself.) For example, instead of just a "sausage" patty on your breakfast biscuit, you can now order your breakfast biscuit with a "steak" patty, which is legally considered to be somehow distinguishable. The choice is yours!

But the biggest news of all is the promotion that McDonald's is running in Kansas City for the length of the football season—in celebration of the glories of athletics and human performance—which could be extended and expanded if it's a success:

The "Blitz Box," which includes two Quarter Pounders with cheese, two medium fries and 10 Chicken McNuggets with dipping sauces, sells for $14.99.

Says here it's a "multi-person" meal. That's the only part I don't get.

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