[Allison Low of Fayetteville, Arkansas, holds a picture of her sister, Sara Low, during a memorial for 9/11 victims near Ground Zero. Photo via AP]

Fox News' Neil Cavuto decided Michelle Obama had been given enough precious 9/11 airtime for her speech in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, so he interrupted the live broadcast to say of Barack Obama, "nine years ago this day, he was a nobody."

Well, Pastor Terry Jones officially called off his 'International Burn a Koran Day.' We haven't been happier to hear about something being canceled since Wild Hogs 2. But, still, Korans are being burned—on YouTube, and near Ground Zero.

[Lights demarcating where the twin towers of the World Trade Center used to stand glow through the New York skyline in preparation for the ninth anniversary of the Sept. 11th attacks tomorrow. Image via Getty]

Contrived bullshit outrage over the fake Muslim takeover of America threatens to overshadow any sincere attempt at marking this year's anniversary of 9/11. We are inclined to agree with one commenter as to the crappiness of this particular 9/11.

This morning, Fox News jacked up its anti-"Ground Zero Mosque" propaganda by broadcasting a "map" that identified remains of 9/11 victims and their proximity to the proposed building site—all with a decidedly biased, fear-mongering tone. Video inside.

It's another 9/11 Eve, with the usual 9/11 polls. This year, only 30% of the country believes our government is "likely" to "ever capture or kill bin Laden." C'mon, people! It's only been nine years, give the government a chance.

After Koran-burning pastor Terry Jones received enough mainstream media attention to merit a cease-and-desist phone call from the Secretary of Defense yesterday, some major news outlets are trying to absolve themselves of guilt. But how will they treat Jones' copycats?

Pastor Terry Jones has just called off his church's 9/11 Koran-burning event, supposedly after getting the Cordoba Initiative to relocate its Islamic community center away from Ground Zero. Cordoba's Imam Rauf, however, is denying any such deal.

The FBI, Interpol, State and Defense Departments, and various foreign governments are on high alert over global threats posed by that stupid Koran-burning church. The FBI's even worried that Islamic extremists might "disrupt" the Koran BBQ itself. Ugh. [Image: AP]

Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck are holding an event in Alaska on 9/11, to honor the innocents murdered nine years ago. Then again, they might not have enough time for "honoring," since they'll be so busy counting their blood money.

Florida psychopastor Terry Jones now says that if President Obama calls him, well, maybe then he'll call off his church's 9/11 Koran BBQ. These fameballs get so pathetic by the end. They just want souvenirs. [Image: AP]

Sarah Palin's latest Facebook note has hit the Internet like an open palm against a slab of beef. She who has been the most vocal critic of the Ground Zero Mosque thinks Pastor Terry Jones shouldn't burn the Koran.

The Flight 93 memorial in Shanksville, Pa., supposedly honors the brave folks who sacrificed themselves during an in-flight power struggle on 9/11. So why does its design include a huge Muslim crescent pointing at Mecca? Here we go again.

Florida's Dove World Outreach Center, the insane church that's planning a Koran-burning festival for 9/11, will go ahead with it for now, despite a rare warning from Gen. David Petraeus about their actions inciting waves of anti-American violence overseas.

Do not make 9/11-themed ads. How many times must it be said? At least one more, apparently. (And this one's French! Bring back Freedom Fries, argh!) [Copyranter]

Politico, the Beltway's go-to sociopath news outlet, has weighed all of Barack Obama's "options" for 9/11 this year and finds "few" good ones. There are apparently some grave political risks for Obama on 9/11 if he doesn't mourn properly.

Last year, secret-sharing website Wikileaks released 573,000 pager intercepts from 9/11. A group of German psychology students used this data to create an "emotional timeline" of the day, tracing the ebb and flow of sadness, anxiety and anger.

Fast Company's Mark Borden tweets this terrifying photo of a rented, decommissioned missile that "Ground Zero" "Mosque" protesters are driving around the proposed Islamic community center site today, and perhaps indefinitely. Take that, "productive interfaith dialogue" prospects!

Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin and frequently-sobbing Fox News host Glenn Beck are appearing together in "the largest venue in Anchorage," Alaska. On 9/11. OMG: Is Sarah Palin going to announce her presidential candidacy? (Probably not.)