Today in celebrity fluff: Amy Winehouse is a morning drinker, Eminem was robbed, Lindsay Lohan storms through London, Simon Cowell reaches out to help Susan Boyle, Lily Allen has a nip slip, and Paris Hilton may get married this summer.
• Lindsay Lohan is stirring up a bit of trouble in Paris. Apparently she's been in discussions with Emanuel Ungaro about signing on as a "creative consultant," although Ungaro's Esteban Cortazar is threatening to walk if that happens. [P6]
• An "insider" says a "fragile" Britney Spears doesn't really want to be on tour, but her dad has been forcing her into it. [MSNBC]
• Christie Brinkley says she has no plans to get married again and doesn't really know why anyone would bother getting married, but does still believe in "true love," if that's any consolation. [Us]
• Amy Winehouse's "last-ditch" plan to sober up isn't going so well. Instead of six shots of tequila for breakfast, she now settles for two. [DM]
Spencer and Heidi implode on the set of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, Madonna and Kate Hudson kinda almost get into a catfight, Billy Bob Thornton's daughter is charged in an infant's death, and Lori Petty spent the weekend in the slammer after getting arrested for DUI.
• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]
• Presumably this is what happens when you spend time hanging out with John Mayer: Dick Parsons (right), the former chairman and CEO of Time Warner and currently the chairman of the board of Citigroup, not only cheated on his wife of three decades with a "model-philanthropist" 29 years his junior, he fathered a child with her, too. [NYDN]
• Sean Penn and wife Robin Wright Penn may not be getting divorced after all. Weeks after filing for legal separation, Penn has withdrawn the motion, either because he only did it in a fit of anger, or because he got jealous after seeing Robin flirting with a handful of men at the Cannes Film Festival. [NYDN, P6]
• The "Real Housewives of New York" have all reportedly signed on for a third season and are expected to make upwards of $30,000 per episode. [MSNBC]
• Last week Bette Midler was handing out dating tips to Jennifer Aniston. This week she's rolling with 50 Cent. Not only have the two become "unlikely best friends," but Bette says 50 has "really made my life worth living," and has been by her side "through thick and thin." She'd even like to sing backup on one of his new songs, too. Also? She's totally lost it, clearly. [NYDN]
• Speaking of Aniston, she's supposedly taking a little break right now due to "exhaustion." [Sun]
• The woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen says her ex made the whole thing up so he'd get "big money" from the singer to stay quiet. [People]
• Hilary Rhoda is reportedly dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly hospitalized for the third time in as many months on Tuesday, although she's since been released. [Mirror]
Spencer Pratt's hot new rap single drops on iTunes, Britney sports a two-piece, Hayden Panettiere's tattoo artist can't spell and fucked up her new ink, some crazed Idol fan attempted to strangle Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend outside the show's studio after the finale, and Amy Winehouse in in the hospital AGAIN!
Yesterday it was announced that Daphne Barak, a bleach-blonde Israeli-American "interviewer" whose kooky website touts her "exclusive interviews with A-list celebs, Hollywood stars, royals and heads-of-state," is doing a documentary featuring Amy Winehouse and her family, "a truthful and revealing look at her complicated life." This is just sad.
• Paris Hilton's reps have been asking event planners in Cannes for $100,000 appearance fees. Sadly, Paris isn't having much luck getting them to go along since, well, "it's not 2002." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says she's worried about the health of the surrogate mom carrying her twins, since tabloid reporters have been harassing the poor girl and trying to hack into her computer. [People, LAT]
• A documentary about Amy Winehouse is reportedly in the works. Should be entertaining! [People]
• Katie Holmes showed up with Suri at last night's American Idol finale. This is good news since it means Tom finally let her out of the house. [Us]
• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good quality" peanut butter and jelly, 12 shot glasses, and a pack of Marlboros—along with $750,000—before agreeing to perform at the University of Arizona last month. [SG, P6]
• Jesus Luz's dad says his son and Madonna "definitely" plan to tie the knot in a Kabbalah ceremony shortly. But Jesus won't have to bother signing a prenup since the marriage won't be legally binding. [NYDN]
• The good news for Amy Winehouse: She's reportedly no longer addicted to drugs. The bad: She's supposedly traded the drugs for booze. [OK!]
• Man of the people: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was spotted flying coach on a flight from New York to DC. [P6]
• Stephanie Seymour and Peter Brant will meet in Greenwich divorce court for the first time today. Expect some fireworks: Brant has already filed a motion demanding Seymour "undergo drug and alcohol testing"; for her part, Seymour is accusing Brant of "hostile, threatening and intimidating behavior." [NYP]
• Now that he's split from his wife, Sean Penn is supposedly dating Natalie Portman (again), since she "stimulates him in ways no other person has." [Star]
• Rumor has it Madonna and Jesus Luz are planning some sort of commitment ceremony at the Kabbalah Center sometime soon. [NYDN]
• Luke Russert was either the "It" boy at the White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday night, or has been a major disappointment for MSNBC, depending on who you talk to. [NYDN, P6]
• Speaking of nepotism, Meghan McCain reportedly "lost it" and acted like an "insolent child" when a guard told her she couldn't bring two friends into the Correspondents dinner on Saturday. [NYDN]
• It wouldn't be fashion's biggest night without a bit of drama thrown in to spice things up. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington are reportedly skipping the Costume Institute gala this evening, possibly because Kate Moss was chosen to co-chair the event; meanwhile, Karl Lagerfeld, Azzedine Alaia, and Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana are all staying home, perhaps because Marc Jacobs has "commandeered the event" by buying two tables and dressing Moss, Madonna, and Kerry Washington. [P6]
• The Chelsea Clinton wedding rumors continue: The Boston Globe reports the former first daughter and Marc Mezvinsky may get hitched at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's home on Martha's Vineyard in August, which is when the Obamas will be in town, too. [BG, NYDN]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon says picking on her has become "the new recession vocation." Sounds about right. [R&M]
• Did Beyoncé really send a look-alike to stand in for her at an art museum in Vienna so she could go shopping instead? That's what many Austrians seem to think, and the museum now says it plans to issue a protest. And here we were thinking decoy body doubles were just for presidents and mafia kingpins. [AFP]
• James Gandolfini erupted at a group of paparazzi outside the Waverly Inn the other night. Fortunately—for the drama-loving masses, at least—they kept their cameras on during the episode and it was all caught on tape. [TMZ]
• Real-life roommates Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick might be splitting up, since Chace is reportedly looking for a loft of his own downtown. [P6]
• Mel Gibson and Russian singer Oksana Grigorieva made their first public appearance together last night at an X-Men screening in LA. [People]
• Strippers at Sapphire East's opening were supposedly told not to take their clothes off until after Samantha Ronson finished her set, since she's "so girl-crazy, she can't concentrate." [P6]
• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated," and says she and LiLo have started talking again, which may mean they're getting back together. [Us]
• Mary-Kate Olsen "kept touching" actor Bradley Cooper at a Tribeca Film Festival party, which could be a sign that they might be dating. [NYDN]
• Parker Posey showed off her new man at the festival, too. She's dating a sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. [NYM]
• Lindsay Lohan is "drowning her sorrows" over Sam Ronson in a "sea of men," including 90210's Kellan Lutz and British paparazzo Chris Jepson. She's also going out all the time again, and hit up six clubs in one evening last week. But that's probably just because she's naturally very energetic. [P6]
• In related news, LiLo tells E! that she isn't in talks to join a topless show in Las Vegas, but she'd be willing to dabble in the burlesque world for the right price. [OK!]
• Uma Thurman's rep says she and Arpad Busson did not get married in the Bahamas last weekend, although it's rumored the couple is planning a "low-key" wedding this Saturday instead. [E!, Sun]
• Daphne Guinness was supposedly overheard telling a friend that she and Andre Balazs aren't "seeing each other seriously," since she's about to move in with French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy. [P6]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to the Stop & Shop in Oyster Bay with two of their kids on Saturday and were "very friendly" to employees of the store. Please try to contain your amazement. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan must be hard up for cash, since she's reportedly in discussions to star in a topless show in Las Vegas. Even worse: She seems to think it will "really revitalize her career and give her some serious theater cred." [Fox]
• Early Show anchor Julie Chen and her boss/husband, CBS chief exec Les Moonves, are expecting their first child this October. [P6]
• Speaking of kids, Amy Winehouse's rep says that the rumors the singer is adopting a child from the Caribbean are untrue. Be thankful for that! [DE]
• Madonna fell off a horse while riding at photographer Steven Klein's house in Bridgehampton on Saturday. She wasn't seriously injured, but don't think for a minute she's taking any blame for the spill. Her flack blamed the accident on a rogue paparazzo who jumped out of the bushes and startled the horse, although both the photographer in question and the police don't share that account. [NYDN, NYP, E!]
• Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson were rumored to be getting hitched in the Bahamas on Saturday, although there's still no word on whether any ceremony actually took place. [People, UPI]
• Has Lindsay Lohan gone straight? She was spotted "flirting relentlessly" with a group of guys including Leonardo DiCaprio at a club last week. [Sun]
• Rumor has it Naomi Campbell is thinking of moving to Moscow so she can be closer to boyfriend Vladislav Doronin. Say it isn't so! [DS]
• Is Lindsay Lohan heading back to rehab? That's what her mother, relatives, and friends are supposedly encouraging her to do, since she's been on a "self-destructive binge of partying, tears and breakdowns" ever since Sam Ronson broke up with her. To make matters worse, she keeps bumping into Sam everywhere she goes. Clearly, the girls need to decide once and for all which one's getting Chateau Marmont so this sort of thing stops happening. [OK!, L&S, P6]
• The Sun reports Madonna and Jesus Luz have reunited. As the story goes, Jesus came back to NYC to "perk up" Madge after all that trouble in Malawi and now they're like, going to Kabbalah classes and, like, eating dinner together and stuff. [Sun]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are supposedly dating again, even though they claim they're "just friends" in public. [NYDN, P6]
• "Real Housewife" Jill Zarin recently underwent breast reduction surgery. If you're lucky, you'll see the whole procedure go down on a future episode. [P6]
• Madonna's most recent effort to change hearts and minds in Malawi: She pleaded her case in a letter to the country's Nation newspaper, writing that she wants to provide Mercy "with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and health care possible." [Us, NYP]
• Madonna may want to take a cue from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: The couple had their adoption request turned down by Bhutan recently, but they're now moving on to the Philippines, according to Britain's Daily Mail. [NYDN]
• Kipton Cronkite's life appears to be headed downhill: The art world scenester has lost his job and apartment, and he's living rent-free with a rich teenager on the Lower East Side. [P6]
• Ruth Madoff will have to find a new stylist: She's been banned from the Pierre Michel Salon "out of respect for the salon's other customers." [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan's mental condition isn't improving: Friends now say she "barely sleeps" anymore, and she "can't even sit down for a minute without pacing around the room." [People]
Farewell, last season's Suri Cruise fashions. Goodbye, Amy Winehouse's bathing suit. Adieu, humanoid version of Lauren Conrad. And so long, LiLo and SamRon's fairytale romance.
