• Jennifer Aniston posed naked on the cover of GQ and inside said boyfriend John Mayer is "extraordinary" with his instrument, but couldn't name his big hit song: "Did not know much about him before I met him. I'd heard ... you know, uh 'Your Body' – that song."

• Donny Deutsch has been caught fooling around with a married woman. Or at least that's what hedge fund manager Andrew Sandler claims, who hired a private detective to follow his wife Lisa around and eventually scored pics of the two of them making out. [P6]
• Jennifer Aniston appears naked on the cover of the new GQ, and in the accompanying article she says her relationship with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is like an "insane Bermuda Triangle." Meanwhile, Brad admits to the new Rolling Stone that he fell in love with Angie while he was still married to Jen. [NYP, Daily Mail]
• Rachel Zoe's rep says the only reason she's been looking so thin lately is because she "just got over the stomach flu." Right. [OK!]

♦ It's the question that has been keeping you up for days now: Where is Alex Rodriguez going to spend Thanksgiving? First it was reported that A-Rod planned to stay in New York. Now People now says he plans to have dinner with his ex-wife and their two kids in Florida. But Madonna is on the scene, too! Maybe in the spirit of the holiday, they'll all just join together and be thankful for what they have? Kidding! [People, TMZ]
♦ The parents of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal are broke, apparently. [P6]
♦ Did Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt really get married in Mexico or was it just an elaborate publicity stunt? [AP]

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz named their newborn son "Bronx" last week, as you probably know. In case you're wondering, "Bronx" isn't one of the 1,000 most popular names in the U.S., according to the Social Security Administration. ("Manhattan," "Queens," and "Staten Island" don't make the cut either.) But, believe it or not, "Brooklyn" is now ranked 57th. [City Room]

Today brings the joyous news that late last night Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz became the proud parents of a baby boy named Bronx Mowgli Wentz—a brilliant choice, if for nothing else being so ridiculous as to be virtually mock-proof. Surely its crunchy-consonant jumble of New York boroughs and Jungle Book characters is worthy of some sort of celebration however, so we proudly present The Defamer Simpson-Wentz Baby Name Generator! As we have no coding skills, this is a very lo-fi generator that really makes you do all the work, but hey—it's more fun getting your hands dirty in the stupid-celebrity-baby-name mush, isn't it? No? OK.Here's how it works: You simply pick any NYC borough or neighborhood within that borough, add a Jungle Book character (you can select from a list here, or here, or if you're feeling too constrained, just pick any Disney protagonist of your liking), then affix the surname of an overexposed celebrity. We'll get you started: 1. DUMBO Toomai of the Elephants Hilton 2. Ozone Park Rikki-Tikki-Tavi Longoria Parker 3. Gowanus Chuchundra Banks Now what are you waiting for? Have at it! [Photo credit: Flickr]

World's Biggest Idiots Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson (both singers or musicians or something) have welcomed a baby boy into the world. The child's name is Bronx Mowgli. We repeat: Bronx. Mowgli. [Rolling Stone]

♦ Guy Ritchie and Madonna's marriage came to an official end in the High Court of London courtroom this morning. Neither "Ciccone ML" or "Ritchie GS" actually showed up in person for the proceedings, but Madonna had drinks with ex-husband Sean Penn on Wednesday night, possibly as part of an early celebration. [People, The Sun, P6]
♦ The longest pregnancy in history is finally over: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz welcomed a son named Bronx Mowgli Wentz into the world last night. Yes, that's Bronx Mowgli. [People]
♦ According to The Sun, Michael Jackson has converted to Islam and has changed his name to "Mikaeel." [The Sun]

• Michael Jackson is a secret Muslim who is actually called Mikaeel, meaning angel of Allah, after the pop star rejected the name "Mustafa," which means chosen one. In a few days Jackson will appear in London court, where an Arab sheikh is suing him for seriously breaching a multi-million-dollar contract. Related? Who knows. The headline? "The Way You Mecca Me Feel." [Sun]

♦ Is Kate Hudson trying to steal Alex Rodriguez away from Madonna? She was spotted with her "arms completely wrapped around" him at a party in Miami this weekend. But she might just be trying to steal Jason Statham away from his girlfriend, since the two were seen downing dirty martinis together. [NYDN, P6]
♦ A PETA activist pelted Lindsay Lohan with a bag of flour at an event in Paris on Saturday. Sam Ronson responded by dissing the activist on MySpace: "My dog is far more civilized than that person." [People]
♦ Kanye West was arrested in London on Friday after an altercation with a photographer. Now he's suggesting the entire episode was "bogus," and has upset some Brits by comparing himself to Princess Di. [People, The Sun]
♦ Sarah Palin may collect a $7 million advance if she writes a book. [MSNBC]

♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦ Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦ Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]

• Today host Ann Curry moved during the national anthem at the Republican National Convention, because NBC hates freedom. Then she pointed at a nice lady from Alaska and yelled, because she is a terrorist. The Virgin Islands were also terribly offended. [P6]

• The war between News Corp. and NBC rages on. Today Page Six reports that Keith Olbermann is so concerned about being "assassinated," he's refusing to cover the Republican National Convention unless MSNBC springs for a more secure location. They also claim none of Luke Russert's new colleagues at NBC News like him, especially since he got to ride around the convention in golf carts while they had to walk. [P6, P6]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Pauly Shore awkwardly engage Francis Ford Coppola in conversation at a Vegas nightclub.

• The biggest loser in the Jimmy Kimmel-Sarah Silverman breakup? Howard Stern, who sounds despondent about the split. He was supposed to hang out with the couple on vacation last week, but they never showed, and when Howard later heard the news, he was so upset he had to take a walk to calm down. [Page Six]

After proving she had little to contribute to the film or starfucking industries, Jessica Simpson finally realized she should keep her pretty-but-pretty-dumb mouth shut for the time being and instead let her t-shirts do the talking, angering PETA in the process. Though the feisty baby seal saviors have their fair share of enemies, they've also impressively managed to get celebrity spokespeople like Alec Baldwin and Eva Mendes to embarrass themselves in public by demanding the public do drugs (Baldwin) or taking off their clothes in the name of fur (Mendes). So naturally, Simpson's public cry for attention irked PETA's most compassionate celebrity nudist, Pamela Anderson, who called her fellow talent-challenged blonde "a bitch and whore" on a radio show. But this is far from the first time Jessica has ruffled another starlet's feathers just by being Jessica. We took a look back at the many ways Simpson has made herself a household name not by selling records or movie tickets, but by starring in her own personal Catfights franchise.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by the loyal readers of Defamer. As a few emailers have noted, it took us a few weeks to collect this installment — if you want to see this feature run more frequently, be sure to send in your tips early and often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Work Out's Jackie Warner working out a gym other than the one she owns.

We have a feeling that, were there a group of deadbeat dads out in Glendale (a la those Dina Lohan-lovin' freaks out East) who got drunk enough one day to form a Totally Awesome Dads Association (TADA!), they would most likely celebrate their first-year anniversary by handing out their Bud Light-drenched award for Father Of The Year to Papa Joe Simpson. Why? Well, as we already know, the former minister-turned-dadager managed to pimp out a few mind-numbingly boring exclusive wedding pictures featuring most annoyingly faux-punk new marrieds on the planet, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, to People a few weeks back. But what we didn’t know was that, at the same time, Simpson was allegedly attempting to sell off his other daughter Jessica — not to the tabloids, but to then-boyfriend Tony Romo. See the astonishing managing skills this guy has? But he reportedly wasn’t stopping at selling off his daughter — he was also said to be pressuring the quarterback to sign a client/manager agreement and become one of the magically successful Simpson Family Players:

• Yes, George Clooney is single again. Ex-girlfriend Sarah Larson was "sweet" but "they had little in common." More revealing: she moved so much crap into his house during their brief relationship that he has to move out while she hauls it all away. [In Touch]

• Susan Sarandon says she's moving to Italy or Canada if John McCain is elected President in November. And she's not voting for Hillary Clinton just because she's a woman, because that would be sexist. [Liz Smith]
  

Jessica Simpson's cuter sister Ashlee and Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz wed yesterday at the Simpson compound in Encino, CA. "The service had an 'Alice in Wonderland' theme. Joe Simpson performed a non-denominational ceremony for his 23-year-old daughter and her 28-year-old groom, [People] magazine reported. Ashlee's sister, Jessica, who recently split from Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, was in attendance, along with mom Tina Simpson." [ABC]