Today at a rally in Wilmington, North Carolina, Donald Trump joked about second amendment fanatics assassinating President Hillary Clinton (or, possibly, a justice she appoints) to prevent her from putting liberal justices on the Supreme Court.

At a Donald Trump rally in Las Vegas this weekend, authorities said, a man approached a police officer to ask how he could go about getting the presumptive Republican nominee’s autograph. He then tried to grab the officer’s weapon, which he allegedly intended to use to shoot Trump, fulfilling an assassination plot he’d been planning for about a year.

A weird relic rested on the bookcase in my family's last home in New Orleans: a wooden pipe that had belonged to Jim Garrison, the Orleans Parish district attorney who tried and failed to convict a local businessman named Clay Shaw for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The pipe still smelled of the tobacco its owner had packed and lit before setting it down at a cocktail party. Garrison—that's him on the right—had left the party and forgotten his pipe. And because he was still a hero to some, and especially to my mom, she took Garrison's pipe home as a souvenir.

Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, who for many years took great glee in voicing anti-American sentiments, died this week at the age of 58, following a long battle with "an unspecified cancer in the pelvic region." Just before he died, Venezuelan vice president Nicholas Maduro ejected two U.S. diplomats from the country and vaguely charged them with infecting Chavez with cancer, saying he was "attacked with this illness."

Last night, NBC news broke the story of an Obama Justice Department memo on extrajudicial assassination of American citizens that screams off the page with the self-delusion and pity of an abused child writing a fairytale. It is a story of calmly supervised adult violence buried under the story-time adventure of so many princes, swords nominally at their sides, who keep hitting and hitting, because they have to.

As you may have heard last night, Osama bin Laden is dead, has perished from the earth, is at the bottom of the sea, and is not better off than he was four years ago. The Democrats are trying to pull a Bush on national security, inflating Obama's reputation as a killing machine and portraying Mitt Romney as a bungling softie.

How would you react to the news that your ex-wife had hired a hitman to try to assassinate you? Would you react by telling her she got a bad deal on her hitman? You wouldn't, would you? And that's why you're not the chillest guy in the world. [via Videogum]

Within an hour of the announcement of relentlessly partisan internet provocateur Andrew Breitbart's death, his most vociferous fans memorialized him in the most appropriate way possible: They launched conspiracy theories about his assassination on Twitter.

The reaction to our post last week on Atlanta Jewish Times owner Andrew Adler's suggestion that Israel consider "order[ing] a hit" on Barack Obama was fast and fierce: After being denounced far and wide and apologizing abjectly, Adler is reportedly stepping down as publisher.

Andrew Adler, the owner and publisher of the Atlanta Jewish Times, a weekly newspaper serving Atlanta's Jewish community, devoted his January 13, 2012 column to the thorny problem of the U.S. and Israel's diverging views on the threat posed by Iran. Basically Israel has three options, he wrote: Strike Hezbollah and Hamas, strike Iran, or "order a hit" on Barack Obama. Either way, problem solved!

Idaho State University student Ramon Bailey says he made this 20-minute video of accused White House shooter and would-be Obama assassin Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez after "randomly" meeting him at his gym in September. Among other things, it reveals Ortega-Hernandez to be the anti-beer pong, pro-marijuana Second Coming of Christ. Jesus likes to party organically.

Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez may have missed President Obama by 3,000 or so miles when he allegedly shot at the White House residence last week, but no worry: He'll still be charged with attempting to assassinate the President or his staff.

You know how on Wednesday the the Obama administration accused Iran of planning the assassination of the Saudi ambassador on U.S. soil, leading to a renewed call for sanctions against the country? Turns out that "hard evidence" of the Iranian government's involvement in the plot "is scant." But don't worry! U.S. officials have analyzed the situation and think it's "more than likely" that at least a couple important people knew about the conspiracy.

There are a few guidelines to being a successful blogger: Update frequently. Promote your posts on social media. And don't describe Sen. Joe Lieberman as "one Jew, who we absolutely must shoot in the face (many times), ASAP."

As you've likely heard, Al Qaeda chief Osama Bin Laden was killed during a firefight with American forces in Pakistan on Sunday. Above, President Obama and his national security team wait for updates from the operation. Here's the latest news:

If you're getting a Secret Service beatdown, at least do it with gusto: Career criminal Gregory Brockman wrote a jailhouse letter threatening to kill the President and eat his flesh. This has been your creative assassination plot of the day.

One Iranian nuclear scientists was killed today and another was seriously injured in separate, simultaneous car bomb attacks. Did we do that?

An Alabama high school geometry teacher is in trouble for, while teaching the kids about parallel lines and such, using the example of the angle a sniper would want when trying to kill Hussein Obama, our Muslim tsar. [AL.com]

President Barack Obama has personally ordered the assassination of a U.S. citizen. Yep! The C.I.A. is authorized to kill cleric Anwar al-Awlaki wherever and whenever they find him. At home, on vacation, maybe right behind you. Crypto-fascists are thrilled!

Dubai authorities have released video of an 11-member assassination team (likely Israeli) before, during, and after they killed a Hamas official last month, as caught by surveillance cameras at the airport, malls, and hotel rooms. It's like Munich, but real.