Thomas “Tom” Perkins—plutocrat, investor, patriot, businessman, innovator, guy once convicted of involuntary manslaughter for ramming a French guy’s small boat with his $130 million, football field-sized yacht and killing him—is dead at 84, the New York Times reports.

After experiencing mechanical problems and drifting into Iranian waters on Tuesday, the Associated Press reports, two small U.S. Navy boats and their crews were detained and held by Iranian authorities. American officials say Tehran assures them the ten sailors will be returned safely.

A pair of 85 year-old twins in New York City are seeking a crew of “12 to 16 hearty souls” to help them sail a boat around the world until they die, then throw their bodies overboard. Why not?

Two are dead and three missing after a pontoon boat hit a barge and capsized in the Ohio River, the Associated Press reports. Louisville Fire Chief Greg Frederick said that the fatalities included one adult and one child.

They must have roamed the internet, thirsty, like wild dogs of the African savannah, until they found it: A popular military veteran’s Facebook site, gently praising the Navy’s christening of the USS Gabrielle Giffords. It was a veritable oasis, drawing in the pack of gundamentalists: There was water here.

According to the AP, only seven people have been rescued from a large passenger ship that capsized in China’s Yangtze River last night.

A boat carrying 100 migrants capsized off the coast near Tripoli in Libya, coast guard officials said on Sunday. Officials have not confirmed the number of deaths but at least 100 people were on board. This is the second boat to capsize in the same area in a week, the Associated Press reports.

Rich: Central Park's Loeb Boathouse is the kind of a place an old person would go to for a celebration demarking another milestone. In the process, that only reiterates the oldness.

A 70-foot yacht competing in the Clipper Round the World Race was sailing in the Pacific Ocean north of Papua New Guinea when it was hit with a surprise 115 mile-per-hour wind. In short order, the boat was on its side, and crew members were tumbling into the water.

Two boats in the Dinner Key Marina in Miami, Fl. collided late Friday while boaters were out celebrating the Fourth of July, reports say. The collision has resulted in the deaths of four and injuring several others.

Tough day? Long commute to work this morning? At least you're not one of the 18 maniacs currently rowing the 2,400 miles from Monterey, California to Honolulu, Hawaii.

The inimitable, the proud, the only boat in Big Bear Lake, California with a liquor license sank on Saturday, leaving fans of drinking on replica pirateships at a loss for a weekend activity. Due to bad weather at Holloway Marina, the 27-ton booze boat was submerged below water, potentially not to be salvaged.

Business is booming in the superyacht industry. Boats now offer "pools with mechanical floors that can be raised or lowered to create a plunge pool, children's pool or helicopter landing pad."

Earlier this month, the shipping company Maersk got itself on the cover of Businessweek, after investing billions of dollars in the biggest ships ever built in world history. Today, Maersk says: Hey, anybody wanna buy the world's biggest ship?

At least 13 people drowned when a boat capsized earlier today on a tributary near the mouth of the Amazon river in Brazil. Most of the passengers were asleep below-deck when the overcrowded boat flipped over, due to strong river currents.

After 9/11, the US Navy launched a massive program to build a "Littoral Combat Ship" that could fight submarines, clear underwater mines, and perform other tasks close to shore, because, um... you never know where the terrorists might be, with snorkels. Astoundingly, it appears more and more like this boondoggle has become—you guessed it—a boondoggle.

In an article on The New Republic today, journalist Marin Cogan details some of the sexual advances female reporters in Washington, D.C., must field from even the most rainmaking of our elected officials. Nodding toward a House of Cards episode that broached the subject of fraught journalist-source flirtations, Cogan writes that colleagues of hers have been hit on by fundraisers, lobbyists, think-tank brains, and beyond, some of whom were wearing wedding rings whilst trying to get laid.

All TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington wanted was a simple life, with a simple boat, so that he might draw out his remaining days in peaceful aquatic seclusion. Chartering retired couples and young honeymooners on day trips, resolving the quarrels of local fisherman, nibbling on sponge cake and watching the sun bake all of those tourists covered in oil. He was done with the game, and he thought the game was done with him.

Meanwhile, in the same webcast, the local newsreader went on to report the death of a child, the death of a man who drove into a tree, and the fact that there will be a boat race in Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri in 2013. All with the same horrible, emotionally defunct monotone.

After a yearlong journey, Laura Dekker, a 16-year-old from the Netherlands, completed a solo sailing trip around the world today. Upon her arrival at port, Dekker was greeted by family, friends and neighbors celebrating her safe return.