boats
Ad: Personal Yacht 'a Necessity' in Today's Anti-Rich People World
Lauri Apple · 10/08/11 04:14PMHargrave Custom Yachts doesn't just make the best customized yachts we know of (disclaimer: it's the only customized yacht company we know of)—it also follows the zeitgeist like a Minnesota babysitter follows a porny plot-line. Hence its astute observation that in today's America, yachts are no longer mere luxuries but required for survival.
Boat Dad on Throwing Kid Overboard: 'I Was Trying to Kill My Son'
Maureen O'Connor · 08/31/11 11:56AMThrowing your annoying kid off a barge isn't funny. Explaining why you threw your kid off a barge, however, is a great opportunity for jokes! Here is Sloan Briles, the Californian charged with felony child endangerment after throwing his 7-year-old off a sightseeing boat, explaining himself to a local news station.
Don't Throw Your Child Off the Boat
Hamilton Nolan · 08/29/11 04:12PMSure, at one time or another we've all wanted to hurl our annoying child into to the violent sea's foamy maw, where no amount of petulant whining will save them from Poseidon's cold embrace. Particularly on one of those "sightseeing cruises." Ugh, have you been subjected to those? Talk about Supposedly Fun Things I'll Never Do Again, amirite? It's enough to make anyone cast their spawn into the deep. Still, you shouldn't.
Captain Morgan's Pirate Ship Found
Lauri Apple · 08/07/11 09:29PMA team of U.S. archeologists believe they've found parts of the long-lost pirate ship of Captain Henry Morgan—that's Admiral Sir Henry Morgan to you, scallawag—down in Panama, which is where I, for one, suspected it was located all along.
Cops Seize $500 Million of Cocaine on 'Pleasure Yacht'
Max Read · 08/03/11 06:29PMStupidest Shark Ever Leaps Onto Boat
Max Read · 07/19/11 11:24PMBlackbeard's Anchor Recovered off North Carolina
Max Read · 05/28/11 01:29PMDivers off the coast of North Carolina recovered the third-largest anchor from what's believed to be the remains of the pirate Blackbeard's ship, Queen Anne's Revenge. It's 11 feet and four inches long (seven feet, seven inches wide), and covered — as you can see — with gross ocean stuff. No word on whether or not it's haunted.
4 Minutes of Amazing Boat Fails
Lauren Soroken · 03/28/11 11:15AMRegular fails are fun, but adding the element of water really adds insult to injury.
Politician Takes 12-Hour Boat Ride to Avoid TSA Pat-Down
Maureen O'Connor · 02/21/11 06:20PMOn her way home from medical treatment for breast cancer, Alaska state Rep. Sharon Cissna underwent a TSA body scan at the airport in Seattle. Agents then ordered a pat-down of the state representative after noticing her mastectomy on the scan, says her chief-of-staff. Cissna, who is a Democrat, decided to leave the airport and take a 12-hour boat ride from Seattle to Juneau, instead.
Epic Boat Launch Fail
Richard Blakeley · 02/03/11 04:30PMWe're pretty sure they meant to use the truck to launch a boat into the water and not the boat to launch a truck into the water.
Seagull Swoops In, Saves Man From Eclair
Christopher Han · 12/10/10 10:26AMThe cameraman and crowd see this seagull coming from afar, but the man with the eclair refuses to budge - daring any animal to come take a bite out of his delicious, delicious eclair. Silly man, seagulls have no fear.
Cruise Ship Tossed Around in 30-Foot Waves
Jeff Neumann · 12/09/10 08:31AMPassengers aboard the luxury expedition ship MV Clelia II are probably wishing their biggest problem was subsisting off mayo sandwiches, after the ship lost an engine this week while on an Antarctic cruise and hit 30-foot swells.
'It's a Little Damp for My Tastes'
Max Read · 12/06/10 03:40AMSteven Slater of Cruise Ships Lacks Charm of Real Steven Slater
Maureen O'Connor · 11/29/10 06:55PM"In the high seas equivalent of trying to open an airplane door mid-flight, an intoxicated California man released the anchor on a Holland America cruise ship while the vessel was traveling in international waters en route to Florida." [TSG]
Three Teenagers Rescued after Drifting in Pacific for 50 Days
Max Read · 11/25/10 02:16PMThree teenagers from the Tokelau islands disappeared on October 5 while rowing in the Pacific. After an extensive search by the New Zealand air force, the boys' families held memorial services. Yesterday, they were found alive by a fishing boat.
"Does Your Boat Ever Run Into Those Chickens of the Sea?"
Richard Lawson · 10/07/10 10:09AM[Jessica Simpson apparently hitting it off with a sailor aboard the USS Harry Truman in the Persian Gulf. Photo via Splash]
In Retrospect, the Captain Thought, I Should Not Have Let Heather Locklear Drive
Max Read · 08/09/10 10:36PM[Two container ships collided near Mumbai on Monday, placing the Arabian sea in danger of an oil spill from the MSC Chitra, the ship seen tilting dangerously here. Pic via AP]
Whale Flails, Nails Frail Sail, Prevails, Bails
Max Read · 07/21/10 11:54PM[South African sailors Paloma and Ralph Warner sure had a... "whale of a time"!!!!!! Get it?? Because, you see, a whale jumped on their boat. (The whale is doing okay.) Click for the aftermath. Capetown Sailing Academy via NYP.]
The Pentagon's New Shape-Shifting Paper Robot
Max Read · 06/30/10 07:44PMPentagon-backed scientists have developed a paper-thin robot that can fold itself into any shape, like a plane, or a boat. Probably it will eventually rise up and kill us all, but until then, origami will be much easier. [Wired]