An interview in the NY Post with Lillo Brancato Jr., the star of A Bronx Tale and The Sopranos, who was charged recently with the shooting death of a cop in a failed attempt at stealing Valium, reveals many new, sad details of the story. Brancato claims he had no idea his co-defendant, the one who pulled the trigger, was carrying a gun the night of the botched burglary. Now, sitting in prison on Rikers Island, recovering from two bullet wounds, the reality of the situation has fully set in:

Over the weekend, another former Sopranos cast member did his part to tear a new hole in the fragile Reality/Fantasy Continuum, and is being held for killing a NY cop during a bungled burglary:

Hollywood is still holding its breath as it awaits indictments in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century. Radar Online reports that the wait could be over very soon, giving the town something to chatter about over turkey and stuffing:

Cityrag compares these photos taken of Courtney Love at a September probation violations hearing and a Friday court appearance in which a merciful judge allowed Love to finish rehab in an outpatient facility, surmising that some eye work might've enhanced the apparent effects of clean living. Bravo to Love's image consultant for realizing that some subtle cosmetic surgery might influence the court to take it easy on her, and abandoning an earlier, far more transparent plan to bolt her head to a high-backed chair to avoid another embarrassing, ill-timed instance of the "sentencing nods."

The American system of celebrity jurisprudence is so critically overtaxed that even A-list actors like Russell Crowe, who famously took up the cause of unacceptable customer service by bludgeoning a concierge with a telephone in early June, have to wait almost half a year to receive their token fines and stern wrist slaps:

Sacha Baron Cohen's comic creation Borat is perhaps Kazakhstan's most influential cultural ambassador, which is precisely the problem. Travelling the world with an unseen camera man, Borat is known for enthusiastically proffering phony pellets of cultural exchange ("In Kazhakstan we have many hobbies: disco dancing, archery, rape and table tennis...").

After two days of deliberations and a day of rest, jurors have returned for what may be their final day to decide if Robert Blake is liable (he's, ahem, already been found not guilty) for the post-linguini-feast offing of ex-wife Bonny Lee Bakley.

A former guest at Girls Gone Wild Chief Titty-Inspecting Officer Joe Francis's Casa Aramara compound (doesn't your house have a name and a website?) in Puerta Vallarta snapped this pic of the estate's guestbook, where a vacationing Lindsay Lohan scrawled these heartfelt words for her gracious host: Joe: I love you, marry me? I know you love 18 yr olds. No, but seriously, thank you so much. Everything was amazing and you were a fuckin' great host. I'll be back to torture ya. Love always, Lindsay. P.S. Wear a condom Joe & keep your tongue in your mouth. La La Loo. You can click the above image to see a larger, more easily readable version.

Kate Hudson can't win. If she puts on some pregnancy weight, the tabloids slap her with an insensitive nickname like "Hippo Hudson," then splash fleshy, full-color portraits of the mom-to-be all over their covers. If she develops an eating disorder to quickly melt off those postpartum pounds, suddenly she's on a "dangerous diet" and cast as the Olsen twins' pro-ana sponsor. Exasperated by her glossy tormentors' Catch-22 tactics, Hudson has filed suit:

CourtTV.com reports that a Mastro's steakhouse valet named Juan Anderson has filed suit against Omar Sharif, star of such classic films as Funny Girl and Dr. Zhivago; the suit accuses the 73-year-old actor of "beating him in a drunken rage and calling him 'a stupid Mexican' after the valet refused to accept Euros as payment."

Is Amanda Scheer-Demme's celebrity-fellating nightlife empire crumbling around her? The AP reports that former Denver Broncos running back Terrell Davis has filed suit against Scheer-Demme, accusing the hostess of a racially motivated cockblock at a post-Emmy party hosted at the Tropicana Bar. Davis's lawsuit also alleges that Scheer-Demme ordered her "attack dogs to physically assault and eject Davis from the private party," a punishment usually reserved for the likes of Tara Reid after a misunderstanding involving the definition of a "bottomless margarita." Defamer's obtained the actual court filing (click here to download), but we suspect that you lack the attention span to wade through the entire document, so we've helpfully transcribed two particularly compelling sections for your convenience:

Hey, all you people who care about stories of "national importance," breathlessly awaiting your fancypants indictments for CIA leaks. Hollywood's got its own problems, thank you very much, as its collective face turns blue waiting for indictments to be handed down in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, when we will finally find out which of the industry's players wind up groped by the cold hand of scandal. The NY Times runs down the all-star roster of names tied up in the case against the eavesdroppingest private detective in town:

· Why is everyone suddenly ganging up on America's Sweetheart, Paris Hilton? Ex-fiancé Paris Latsis' pal is calling her a "hooker," while mean boys Don Cheadle and Ryan Gosling sneer that Hilton wouldn't have much fun partying in Darfur.
· A new study determined that even males under 25, who generally will watch anything, wouldn't go see this summer's shitty movies.
· Even we were surprised by the outcome of the latest Celebrity Vs.Thing standoff, Ryan Reynolds vs. Wine Stoppers. The results are even more unbelievable when you consider that abs were not mentioned.
· It seems obvious to us, but don't you think that by now Boy George should know to hide the 13 bags of coke before calling the cops to report a burglary? Perhaps even more embarrassing than this rookie mistake is his lawyer's "That must be somebody else's 13 bags of coke!" defense.

After pleading no contest to a drunk driving charge, The West Wing's Stockard Channing is the latest actor to learn a tough lesson: on the mean streets of Los Angeles, justice is both swift and expensive:

Passenger 57 star Wesley Snipes can breathe easier today, knowing that the system really does work—especially if one's accuser likes to hit the pipe:

Courtney Love's couch-based assault of a sleeping musician last year has finally made its way to the courts, and as is typical of most Love antics, the reality is more authentically batshit insane than any jokey version we could come up with:

Olympic-level hotel phone-putter Russell Crowe might have bought off settled with the concierge on the receiving end of his infamous telephone love-tap for a reported six-figure sum, but that hasn't made his legal problems disappear. Crowe's legal team is trying to help the actor avoid the highly inconvenient, career-hampering jail time and other assorted problems a pesky assault conviction might carry:

Clip 'n save this headline, because you'll probably need it again after about 28 days.

From Reuters, the story of yet another former child actor landing on the police blotter:

After a judge ruled last week that Disney technically had not done anything wrong by firing Michael Ovitz and handing him a $140 million severance check, the giddy, disgraced former uber-agent celebrated by commissioning suggestive headlines about the trial's outcome. Don't judge—everyone needs to feel good about themselves once in a while.