• Oh, now we understand: Lindsay Lohan missed her appearance on Regis & Kelly because her head got eaten by Kong. Right. Thankfully, that's not so serious as to keep her off of TRL right about now. [Popsugar & OAN]
• Christopher Hitchens predicts the death of the journalist protagonist in modern fiction, suggesting that, god forbid, such characters are replaced with bloggers — a development which could really just be the death of modern fiction altogether. [Guardian]
• Fake David Cross is alive, well, and banned from a bar for being a total boozehound. [Felber Frolics]
• How to do your holiday shopping, with helpful, implicitly violent tips from the Gap. [You Can't Make It Up]
• In a piece on "suspected" firefighting sex fiend Peter Braunstein, Dateline interviews blogger Steve Huff as an "expert" on the case. Hey, if New York's Vanessa Grigoriadis counts, we suppose a blogger can, too. [B&C Beat]
• Now you can pay the very supplies AP staffers have been stealing for years. [AP Essentials]
• It's a tourist's dream: Getting wasted in Manhattan, but not lost. [NY on Tap]
• iPorn for your iPod isn't novel, but A-list Playboy porn ups the ante just a bit. But can you get it in braille? [MDN]

According to a reader, who we have no reason to believe this other than our longing to believe in something, anything, the happy fellow at right just might be the Fake Jason Lewis. (Refresher: Through a series of text messages, Fake Jason Lewis tricked Lindsay Lohan into thinking he was the actor of the same name, resulting in a week of misguided SMS flirting.)

As we conduct our vigilant search for the Fake David Cross — a vile imposter who claims to be the actor so he can score free drinks and easy women — we're finding that reality is not absolute, and the truth of reality is inextricable from the reality of truth. Or something.

We're continuing our search for the Fake David Cross, a downtown charlatan known to dupe less-than-intelligent folks into thinking he's the Arrested Development actor so as to score free drinks and easy women. We had a possible suspect yesterday but, as it turns out, he's just one of the owners of Beauty Bar, meaning that Fake David is still at large. Someone has suggested that this man (sorry, dude, whoever you are) might be the guilty party, but considering his MySpace profile says he's in Philly, we're not buying it.

When we're not too preoccupied with our manhunt for alleged rapist Peter Braunstein, rest assured that we're devoting our remaining energy to uncovering the wicked doppelganger to Arrested Development actor David Cross, who uses his genetic fortune to woo ladies back to his evil boudoir. The fellow at right, according to The Apiary, was recently seen accepting free drinks from patrons of Down the Hatch, all of whom believed he was David Cross. Don't be fooled by the tattoo: While the imposter does bear ink on the proper arm, it's certainly not of a "miling pig standing upright and serving you his own ribs straight from his open chest." This man is most certainly NOT our fair David.

On Friday, a reader sent a picture of himself with David Cross, the actor and comedian who has lately been the victim of an imposter, a depraved doppelganger who reportedly cruises lower Manhattan claiming to be the Arrested Development actor in an effort to get laid.

Yesterday, we mentioned that a fake David Cross was running around Manhattan, impersonating the Arrested Development actor and comedian so as to nail some chicks (in fact, we think our most recent Gawker Stalker sighting may, in fact, have been a sighting of Fake David). Cross, rightfully disturbed and disgusted by this hipster-charlatan, writes us: