In the wake of television upfronts and the wave of small screen stars brought with it, Lucky magazine has a special treat for us all: a video of the swaggy joy within its overly heralded gift suite, where celebrities like Mischa Barton (who likes "skinny jeans and street style"), Jamie-Lynn Sigler, and Felicity Huffman (we expected better of her, honestly) score more free shit than a springtime dog run.
The little war between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan has a whole new front: Brandon Davis, the oil scion best known for boozing his way to the top of Los Angeles' tower of celebutwat nightlife. The omnipresent cultural pornographers at TMZ have released a video shot last night, featuring Paris Hilton and Davis — who's so drunk as to sport some impressive facial bloat. Always a gentleman, Davis defends his lady friend, ranting about Lohan for an impressive three-and-a-half minutes before throwing the ultimate gauntlet (as transcribed by our brother Defamer): "Lindsay Lohan is a firecrotch, she has freckles coming out of her vagina, and her clitoris is seven feet long." Well, now you know.
This is something we've been meaning to address for some time, but it wasn't until yesterday that we realized how truly pressing the issue is: yes, dear publicists, we are aware that you plant your clients in Gawker Stalker. But PR-styled sightings kind of defeat the purpose. When we catch these releases-in-disguise (and we often don't) we take said items and edit out any particularly egregious plugs so that we're left with a regular item. But then we get an planted sighting like the following:
Television upfronts and the celebrities enslaved to them continue to dominate Manhattan this week — we've yet to hear anything about young flacks passing out and shitting themselves, but 20th Century Fox is hosting its party tonight, so there's still a chance. The Times' Virginia Heffernan is live-blogging the networks' end of it (wherein the Heffer discovers that Ellen Pompeo has been denying herself bread crumbs), but she's certainly not going to tell us about any new instances of poopy pants. So if you see something, say something.
• Too weak to even walk through a grocery store, Nicole Richie must ride in a shopping cart pushed by assisted living specialist Mischa Barton. [TMZ]
• If youth is wasted on the young, then it's the same with karaoke. In Flushing, however, Grandma can get her groove on. [NYM]
• SpotBit is an electronic archive of several current magazines — all of which you can download for free, in full. We'd encourage you to go and stick it to the man, but this shit likely won't make much of a difference. [via Big and Sharp]
• Axl Rose and Sebastian Bach hit 6's and 8's, party like it's 1984. [Animal]
• In order to tame and defeat Eurotrash, you must first learn to understand the bare-chested breed. [Save Manny]
• It's hard to care about celebrity lookalikes. But it helps if the doppelgangers are making porn. [Fleshbot]
Some completely unsubstantiated, certainly-not-true rumor mongering about Josh Lucas, courtesy of the rascally Velvet Rope Whore:
Vigilant anti-Ratner organization Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn announces today the formation of an Advisory Board, full of celebrity superheroes willing to fight the crime, injustice, and the Nets Stadium. Notable Brooklynite members include Rosie Perez, Steve Buscemi, Jonathan Lethem, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams, Jhumpa Lahiri, and the Prince of Park Slope, Jonathan Safran Foer. In the release, Williams recovers from her Supporting Actress loss to chase the glory of Best Random Spokeswoman:
Looking way back to March, when we launched our Gawker Stalker Maps, we recall a certain amount of paranoia from celebrity publicists, who were certain that our life-threatening rundown of where and when boldface names were spotted would result in nothing but violent carnage. And oh, how George Clooney wept for the safety of his brethern.
Having particularly diligent (and/or obsessive) readers means that we receive literally dozens of celebrity sightings each day. While we never have nor will fact-check any of them, we do try our best to eliminate the ones that seem useless (reality TV stars, Chris Noth) or totally fake (Natalie Portman in a stretch Hummer). It's an imperfect process, but we mean well.
