The rumors had been swirling for a while, but now there is video evidence that Whitney Houston's notoriously troubled daughter Bobbi Kristina, age 19, is doing sexy things with adopted brother Nick Gordon, age 22.

21-year-old Scout Willis is a senior at Brown University and, according to Ivy League gossip blog IvyGate, behind pseudonymous Twitter account @BougPunk where she describes her boozy exploits. Among them: Avoiding Terry Richardson sex acts, stealing from American Apparel, and sneaking into Chateau Marmont (Does the progeny of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore really have to "sneak in"?) and charging snacks to Lindsay Lohan's room.

This is not just a list of media people we don't like. Nor is it just a list of media people who had a bad year. This is a list of media people who—abundant evidence shows—should not be in the media, any more. Give it up. Try something else. (We'll even make a suggestion.) You've given it a shot. It's not working any more. The media is not for you.

Yeah, last night was the TV debut of Chelsea Clinton, NBC's newest """""journalist.""""" All you non-famous kids out there who saddled yourselves with a lifetime of debt in order to pay for journalism school, who are now either unemployed or underemployed or stuck at some boring dead end niche publication wondering how your journalism dream turned out so differently than you imagined: maybe Chelsea Clinton will put you in one of her charity news segments on teevee one day. That would be a dream come true for you.

[Updated.] Yesterday, we brought you an email sent out at 4 a.m. by a frantic Chet Haze — multi-hyphenate hip-hop impresario/Northwestern junior theater major/Rita Wilson's son — to his entire philosophy class, after realizing he was missing a month's worth of class notes for a term paper due THAT DAY. You've undoubtedly been able to to think of nothing else since.

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

So, Chelsea Clinton is joining NBC "News" to "report" on "Making a Difference." We'll pause here as you get out all of the obvious jokes. (Pause.) Great. Now, let's take a moment to contemplate just how vapid our nation's most powerful "news" networks really are.

Great news: a new OFFICIAL video release from Chet Hanks a.k.a. Chet Haze, the Midwest's number one Northwestern University movie star scion rap artist of the present generation! This one is sure to drainerade the haterade awayerade!

Behold, a play date that will make a thousand social-climbing mommies seethe with envy: Angelina Jolie brought her brood to Gwen Stefani's London home today, for a play date and dinner. Looks like Kingston and Shiloh got into one of their moms' makeup kits?

Don't say we never bring you the hard-hitting news. Patrick Schwarzenegger/Shriver, young son of Arnold and Maria, budding model and entrepreneur, has posed topless for a jeans ad and now there is a giant billboard of him in Los Angeles.

Celebukids like Rich Hil are killing hip hop. Let's just say that up front, as a way of framing our overall sense of glee that there is a big story about Rich Hil—son of Tommy Hilfiger—in today's New York Observer. Does he invite us to fellate him? But of course.

So then, did you all take the time to download the hot new mixtape by Pablo Dylan, Bob Dylan's 15 year-old rapping grandson?

Chet Haze, Northwestern University's best and worst rapping son of Tom Hanks, had only performed on campus—until last weekend, when he ventured out to Enclave, a club in Chicago where joke rappers play, for his first real world concert.

Hello, America. Chet Haze—Northwestern University's most prominent rapper-actor whose father starred in Turner & Hooch— has released a new track. This one really is some janky, Justin Timberlake-grabs-the-mic-at-the-8th-grade-school-dance type shit. More so than before. Anyhow, enjoy.

Chet "CHET HAZE" Hanks is not just a rapping Northwestern University fraternity member and A-list movie star scion; he is also true American patriot. On this peerless day in American history, Chet took to Twitter to patriotize your bitch ass.

On this past Wednesday evening, the world witnessed something that it never had before: a live performance of the original hip hop music of CHET HAZE, Northwestern University's foremost MC whose father is one of the voices of a leading character in the beloved Toy Story franchise.

Theodora Richards, one of Keith Richards's perpetually nude model/socialite daughters, was arrested in New York last night for tagging "T♥A" on a Soho building with a paint marker. She was taken into custody, and when searched by the cops, weed and Xanax was discovered.

Chet Haze, the hottest Northwestern University-based up-and-coming rapper who was fathered by the narrator of The Polar Express, is finally speaking out on his creative process:

It's okay for college kids, or white kids, or even rich and famous kids to like rap; or even to rap themselves, if they happen to be blessed with that particular talent. But it's not okay for rich famous white college kids to butcher rap music, for laffs (on purpose, or unintentionally). Not any more, at least. Maybe it was funny the first time someone tried it, oh so many years ago? We doubt it. But maybe. Now, though... we present you with Pussy Breath.

CHET HAZE, Northwestern University's most prominent aspiring West Coast rapper who is also a son of the star of the movie Castaway, has a Valentine's Day present for all of you motherfuckers: a mixtape, of Chet Haze songs. Yea, sorry. That's all.