Amazing what shows up in the inbox sometimes. This one is from an otherwise-reputable serious reporter, who wouldn't be feeding us misinformation:

We realized we'd heard of this product before, the new Philips Bodygroom razor. But we'd never given it much before last night, when we found ourselves standing at a urinal and staring at this ad, which — and apologies for the crappy cameraphone pic — depicts two strategically positioned kiwis, one with its fuzz intact and the other freshly shorn, above the tagline, "Now you can shave wherever you want." We were more than a little bit repulsed. Naturally we were at a bar in Chelsea.

Gunfire broke out at West Chelsea stripey den Opus 22 last night, resulting in one dead and three wounded. The culprit? The bouncer, of course. You know, the dude that's there for safety and crowd control [insert obligatory Darryl Littlejohn shout-out]. The victims were at a private open-mic party at the club and were asked to leave to make way for another event. They were allowed to reenter the club but had to pay a $20 entrance fee; the intoxicated patrons refused:

Click to enlarge.

Gay blogger Andy Towle (by which mean he runs a blog on gay topics, not that he's a blogger who happens to like boys) today answers a question that has plagued us all at one point or another: How do you possibly get the Chelsea boys to pay attention to you? Turn out it's easy: Ride an enormous white horse down Eighth Avenue. Duh.

After yesterday's ruminations on the life and times of 24-year-old furniture scion and Chelsea neatfreak Loren Kreiss, Kreiss himself contacted Gawker to clear some things up. Not only is he straight, he says, but he was the captain of his school's Varsity golf team and president of the Spanish Club. Es tan macho!

On the other hand, as much as we all want to make fun of poor little rich (and allegedly even straight) Chelsea boy Loren Kreiss, it's worth noting that as someone who decorated his own apartment, he shines in comparison to his long-lost twin brother, Jai Rodriguez, best known as the Queer Eye guy with no discernable talent or expertise who shows up at the end with a CD.

This weekend's Times tries extra-specially hard to tease your suicidal tendencies with a Real Estate article on 24-year-old Kreiss furniture scion Loren Kreiss. Kreiss enjoys a 1,500-square-foot loft in Chelsea's Mercantile Building (estimated to go for about $6k per month), which he's furnished with his family's furniture, an antique Coke machine, a custom-made Taylor guitar, and several clocks that he purposely sets to the wrong time so he can be appropriately "quirky." His walls are decorated with art from his unpublished graphic novel — future novels are written on his Blackberry while he's getting his cardio fix at the gym.

At the High Line groundbreaking(ish) ceremony yesterday, Kevin Bacon and Ed Norton whip it, whip it real good.

WNBC

A reader sends in this pic and an inquiry:

The official Historian of Hipster Nightlife, the Cobrasnake, has taken to guerilla marketing. The image at right features his trademark "tag," which can be found on empty, vulnerable walls in the expected habitats such as the Lower East Side and Chelsea. Note the abandoned bottles of Corona; the alcoholic litter is a genuine mark of the Snake. Lock your doors and protect your children, lest he mark you as his territory.

We received an anguished — even, perhaps, catty — email this morning:

The above advertisements are posted on opposing sides of a single Chelsea phone booth. The proximity of two conflicting messages has us wondering about the mutual exclusivity of these stereotypes. Can one exist without the other?