So then, let's all, in unison, read this thing written on the Twitter yesterday (and then deleted) by Chet Haze, the best rapping son of an Academy Award winner Northwestern University has seen since Peter Fonda drunkenly performed "My Adidas" on the quad in 1986. This could be Chet Haze's most controversial piece of Twitter wisdom since "What's your sex playlist called? Mines called 'we fuckin' LOL I'm serious tho."

Here we are six weeks into 2012, and we've barely even stopped to contemplate all of the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding that pours forth from Northwestern University rap star and Tom Hanks scion Chet Haze. We will now remedy that. Below, a thorough review of all of Chet's wisdom shared on Twitter thus far this year. Absorb that shit.

[Updated.] Yesterday, we brought you an email sent out at 4 a.m. by a frantic Chet Haze — multi-hyphenate hip-hop impresario/Northwestern junior theater major/Rita Wilson's son — to his entire philosophy class, after realizing he was missing a month's worth of class notes for a term paper due THAT DAY. You've undoubtedly been able to to think of nothing else since.

A Northwestern University student-tipster who's enrolled in the same American history class as Chet Haze—the rapping, acting, West Side (of Evanston)-dominating consequence of Tom Hanks' potent ejaculate—passed along this email that Haze sent across a listserv at 4 AM this morning:

Great news: a new OFFICIAL video release from Chet Hanks a.k.a. Chet Haze, the Midwest's number one Northwestern University movie star scion rap artist of the present generation! This one is sure to drainerade the haterade awayerade!

Chet Haze, Northwestern University's best and worst rapping son of Tom Hanks, had only performed on campus—until last weekend, when he ventured out to Enclave, a club in Chicago where joke rappers play, for his first real world concert.

While talking about Old People in Love, the new movie he stars in with Julia Roberts, Tom Hanks told Access Hollywood host/animated pool of spray-tan liquid Billy Bush that he used "man Spanx" for a scene that featured his butt in his underwear. This is not a polite subject of conversation!

Hello, America. Chet Haze—Northwestern University's most prominent rapper-actor whose father starred in Turner & Hooch— has released a new track. This one really is some janky, Justin Timberlake-grabs-the-mic-at-the-8th-grade-school-dance type shit. More so than before. Anyhow, enjoy.

You might know that Tom Hanks has a gangsta-rapping son at Northwestern University who goes by the name Chet Haze. How did someone so white bread as Tom Hanks produce a kid like Chet Haze? He offered a possible explanation on the Ellen DeGeneres Show today.

Chet "CHET HAZE" Hanks is not just a rapping Northwestern University fraternity member and A-list movie star scion; he is also true American patriot. On this peerless day in American history, Chet took to Twitter to patriotize your bitch ass.

Big time beef in the NWU, which stands for Northwestern University, act like you know! Could it be that some bold young upstart is challenging the one and only CHET HAZE for hip hop supremacy? Yes, outlandishly!

On this past Wednesday evening, the world witnessed something that it never had before: a live performance of the original hip hop music of CHET HAZE, Northwestern University's foremost MC whose father is one of the voices of a leading character in the beloved Toy Story franchise.

Chet Haze, the hottest Northwestern University-based up-and-coming rapper who was fathered by the narrator of The Polar Express, is finally speaking out on his creative process:

CHET HAZE, Northwestern University's most prominent aspiring West Coast rapper who is also a son of the star of the movie Castaway, has a Valentine's Day present for all of you motherfuckers: a mixtape, of Chet Haze songs. Yea, sorry. That's all.

"Step to me, get beat down like Rodney King." These and other words can be heard in this "freestyle" (*derisive chuckle*) by Tom Hanks' son Chet, better known as CHET HAZE, Northwestern University's most famous currently enrolled student/ MC.

Important update regarding up-and-coming rapper Chet Haze, also know as Tom Hanks' son, Chet: his mixtape is "officially done," and coming soon! As you can see, he's in the lab, still reppin his team. And he loves Kim Kardashian.

Today is Day Two of the burgeoning rap career of Tom Hanks' son Chet, a.k.a. CHET HAZE. You thought he was all about getting high at Northwestern University? Wrong! He's also about getting high in the fancier parts of L.A.

Today we discovered the rapping branch of Tom Hanks's family, namely a son who goes to Northwestern and spits rhymes about said institution. As in any good rap battle, this prompted a sizzling hot response from a commenter.

Chet Hanks is the son of actor Tom Hanks. He attends Northwestern University. Chet Haze is "an up and coming MC...Born and raised on the West Side of the Westside's main city LA." Yes, he has a new Northwestern-themed single.