It's fitting; the Second Coming of the phone will get a game from On High. Alongside Apple's SDK demo today, Electronic Arts' Travis Boatman showed off a version of Will Wright's magnum opus Spore running on the iPhone. The release date hasn't been finalized, but the hope is it will coincide with the game's multi-platform release this September. That BART ride just got a helluva lot more interesting.

When Molly Shannon was four years old, she was in a terrible car accident in her home town of Shaker Heights that took the lives of her mother, her little sister, and her cousin. That left her dad James Shannon, who survived the crash with a crushed leg, to raise Molly and her older sister Mary. Stopping by The View today to chat about upcoming projects (she'll be starring in the U.S. version of Australian sitcom hit Kath and Kim), Shannon veered onto the subject of her dad.

Surveillance cameras captured fleeting, blurry images of the man who dropped the bomb on Uncle Sam this morning and Police released clips to the media this afternoon We know the terrorist rides a bicycle ("in a suspicious manner") and wears dark clothing. We must insist you turn in any friend, neighbor, or relative who matches this description to the police for questioning. Watch the video for yourself, after the jump. (Also please click to see this loving illustrated tribute to the victims of today's attacks from Gawker reader and patriot Ryan.)

It's now official: We are in the midst of another Golden Era of Idol. You can toss it all at us—the gay stripper-boogers, the teen Mormon prodigies, the butch nurse-rockers (with male fiancés—DVR replay does not lie!), the off-duty drag queens with moms that look like Divine—but without a completely incoherent, equilibrium-challenged Paula Abdul, it really amounts to a whole lot of nothing.

"We've had 95 women reach their goal of getting free breast implants and that's 190 boobs," says MyFreeImplants.com founder Jason Grunstra. "That's a two-to-one ratio!" Stephen Colbert reported in this clip, his salute to the power of the Internet to bring the many to the assistance of a few. The clip, below.

We could make the typical cutesy gay jokes about this clip of Anderson Cooper watching clips of streakers getting taken down, but we're more bemused by his use of phrases like "tally ho" and "sticky wicket." And his bizarre insistence on calling genitals "bits and pieces." Watch along with Anderson as nude men are violently tackled! [CNN]

Hey, raging creative underclass! Remember playing pencil-and-paper role-playing games in high school college? I don't, because I was cool and played real-time strategy games on my computer instead. But my friends did! And they were among millions who played Dungeons & Dragons, the first commercial role-playing game. My friends weren't stereotypical nerds (they were unique and unpeggable nerds); they loved plot and character, and in addition to writing and drawing, they told each other stories through RPGs like D&D and Mage. So after the death of D&D creator Gary Gygax this week, I asked my friend Mark Beall to talk about his experience as a literary RPG fan.

TV journalists have been squabbling on camera and hilariously for years, and CNN reporter Candy Crowley reminds us that the practice continues to this day. Though she doesn't actually trade words with fellow CNN correspondent Chris Welch, she follows his report by telling the camera, "Don't you believe a word of that," followed by a brief description (slightly truncated in the clip) of how fun it is to be a political reporter. What sorts of lies was Welch spreading? He was showing reporters bitching on the presidential campaign trail about having to wait in line for hotel room keys, about not getting frequent guest points in hotels, about the lack of power outlets, about the food — about everything, really. In other words, the journalists are whiny and self-absorbed. Crowley spots this for the obvious slander that it is:

Realizing the truth about his gay-stripping past had finally hit the mainstream media, American Idol finalist David Hernandez pulled one of the savviest moves in the competitive karaoke play book last night: He deflected the growing outrage with a booger-colored smokescreen. So repulsive was the tale of the flaky, walnut-sized (or was it pea-sized? It'll be the size of a wide-mouthed bass the next time he tells it!) snot-pellet plainly visible in the Celine Dion-interpreter's headshots, any connection in the minds of the American public between Hernandez and the notion of physical desirability was instantly nullified, offering him a clean slate with which to move into further rounds of competition.

While most of America has shown only a passing interest in Semi-Celebrity Apprentice (an interest that continues to fade each week), we have found it to be one of the few great small-screen joys of this strike-ravaged season. Not because the challenges are particularly interesting, mind you; our interest lies mainly in observing this pack of Type-A C-Listers trade on their varying levels of "fame" and hubris like social currency (see: Stephen Baldwin in the clip above). Rarely are the challenges on Donald Trump's resurrected show about who has a better grasp on the four Ps; rather, it's more about watching these fame-hungry jackals tear down their competitors' self-worth while attempting to build theirs up. As close-to-brilliant as the show is in its current incarnation, we can only imagine how subversively stupendous it could be if Cris Abrego and Mark Cronin were steering the ship instead of Mark Burnett. [NBC.com]

"What's it like to be a famous guy on the Web?" Wallstrip host Lindsay Campbell asked Jimmy Wales in an interview last year. "Being an Internet rock star is like being a regular rock star, except there's no sex and drugs," Wales replies. We're inclined to believe him on the drugs — Wales can barely handle liquor, from what we hear — but no sex? Even in this finance-oriented chat, we detected Jimmy's subliminal message for the ladies at the end. The full clip:

While Hollywood has yet to spark to David Sedaris quite as enthusiastically as they have his sister Amy (why we've yet to see the movie based on that Barrel Fever story about the adopted Vietnamese hooker is beyond us. And they say there aren't enough great parts for women. Hmph!), we're certain the NPR-listening and book-reading factions among you are already familiar with his work.

Oh, poor dejected Dan Rather. Dumped by his network, left out of self-congratulatory media parties and solitarily pursuing a vanity lawsuit. Well, at least he has the gab fest of that is the View. Today, he got to pontificate about the election, as well as explain his conspiracy theories about why he was fired from CBS. Joy Behar even called him a "sex god." About four minutes in, Barbara Walters asks Rather about his lawsuit, and Rather gets all Howard Beale-lite. His paranoia got our paranoia going. What personal vendetta is Barbara Walters pursuing by asking Rather about his crazy suit? Did ABC News bigwigs tell her to bring up the case to hurt CBS News? Was 9/11 an inside job? Video after the jump.

The attached clip shows local news at its absolute finest: a hothouse of over-serious but under-talented egos, squabbling with each other over the responsibility of real journalists to cover broken elevator stories as thoroughly as possible. The anchor, venerable old Jim Ryan, forced into retirement from WNYW in 2005. The reporter, former New York Daily News assistant managing editor Dick Oliver. They have a bit of a history. Clip after the jump.

According to YouTube data gathered by Waxy.org, only about 1 in 21,487 viewers rated "CANSEI DE SER SEXY Music is My Hot Hot Sex." Viewers of the other nine most popular videos rated them once every 590 views. Conclusion: Humans didn't watch "CANSEI DE SER SEXY Music is My Hot Hot Sex" 90 million times, computers did. Cheating has never made me feel better about my fellow man.

First answer: A boy. I think. At least he says he's a boy. Johnnyboyxo, like Chris Crocker before him, is a feminine young man who gives TMI about his personal life. But the actually stable Johnny will never pull a "Leave Britney Alone." When commenters called him a tranny, he started playing one in his videos. This easygoing attitude might kill his chance at making one fifteen-million-view video, but it could also help him become a popular little comedian. Below, Johnny talks about his heavy flow. In the second clip (which got half a million views), Johnny thanks his vibrator for saving his Valentine's Day.

We suppose some might dispute Nasser Entertainment's bold claim that Anna Nicole is "the most anticipated motion picture of the year." Still, after watching Bad Girl of Pop Willa Ford's complete and uncompromising transformation into the nonagenarian-sexing bombshell, we will concede that the movie has just shot up our 2008 Must-See List. Something about the way Ford captures Anna's baby-gurgle voice in the line, "I wanna be the next Marilyn Monroehrmphuh," coupled with the movie's Showgirls-on-no-budget production values, makes us feel like the bigwigs at Nasser really nailed this one, producing the kind of instant camp-o-tainment Anna Nicole herself would have starred in had she not been taken from us too soon.

You know, maybe it isn't as easy as it looks being the world's most arrogant startup curator. In this interview, TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington told local radio personality Hooman, "it's just tough, you know, when I read negative stuff about myself." And, you know, like, how dare anyone out there make fun of Arrington! After all he's been through? He loves startups. He went through a breakup. All you people care about is readers and making money off of him. He's a human!

George W. Bush has a special relationship with the press: he threatens them with prosecution, pressures them to withhold damaging stories, and accuses them of treason in order to drum up anti-media sentiment among the masses. But he also gives them funny nicknames, so they like him. John McCain, the Republican nominee for President, enjoys taking the press to barbecues and having friendly chats with journalists about how much he hates "gooks." And as this clip from Bush's endorsement of McCain earlier today shows, once he is elected he will not suffer their "questions" bullshit either.

I know I'm the only person on earth tired of the Onion, so here's the trailer for The Onion Movie. While the film was supposed to come out in 2005, the trailer that was just released on the Darjeeling Limited DVD says the movie will go straight to DVD this year. Good call. Not only is the thing outdated, but I doubt most theater audiences could sit still for ninety minutes of the same deadpan news schtick. Even Monty Python knew they had to have a plot if they wanted to make a feature-length film. Trailer's below.