Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae, lenders created at the whim of evil government in the 1930s and 1970s respectively, have been brought back under national supervision in the wake of the country's mortgage crisis. The two institutions simply weren't "capitalized" enough to weather the sub-prime storm, and whatever government regulations were left failed like levees under a flow tide of bad debt. And while it will help stabilize the mortgage market, it won't necessarily help people who have sky-high payments and underwater equity. Ever resourceful, Americans in areas hard hit by foreclosure are playing home ownership musical chairs with the banks. All I understand about economics is that I feel poor. So does this mean Bay Area housing will get more affordable?No. While exurban exiles will feel the pinch on payments and at the pump, denser inner-urban communities will probably see rents increase as desperate homeowners look to cut costs and find job opportunities. And it's not like you can expect affordable housing in the likes of Belmont and Saddle River, Ross or Sag Harbor, Piedmont or Greenwich. As bad as renting is long-term for your retirement and rent control may be for their housing markets, apartment dwellers with fixed costs are the least likely to move back in with parents right now.

Last night's New York movies and TV post seemed to make people happy, so it would be kind of unfair to ignore our main competition as a location for silver and little screen productions. Besides, it's a wise blogger who holds onto a promising theme until it's bled dry. So! La-la Land, Hollywood, City of Angels... the choices are practically endless. Heck, that's where they make all the movies and TV shows! What's your favorite? I'll get us going after the jump.

Greetings, Defamer readers! We have something special in store for you today, as the MTV Video Music Awards—the most prestigious of all awards shows celebrating achievement in a medium that peaked when fax machines still seemed cutting-edge—are coming to you from the heart of Hollywood, at Paramount Studios. A plate of Mexican food was all it took to get a homeless man to let us use his body as a human stepladder and hop the gate, giving Defamer editor Seth Abramovitch and associate editor Kyle Buchanan access to the Russell Brandiest musical extravaganza this side of Western Ave! We're not sure what to expect today, or whether any of this might be of interest to you, but for what it's worth, we're already having a ball. We followed a small mob of Christina Aguilera's accountants/background dancers into the actual soundstage, and have been watching the dress rehearsal. So much drama! Miley Cyrus has no power in her dressing room! Her hair people are flipping out! And Lil' Wayne is trapped in a bus at the gate! While we now see how long it takes for it to get back to security that we're actually inside, we'll leave you with the first of what is sure to be many exciting exclusives: An interview with Brand's troubled VMA promo spots co-star. Not Britney, but Tai the Elephant. Our exclusive interview (must credit Defamer) is after the jump, along with the rest of the live blog. What are you waiting for? Check it out!8:12 Kanye closed it out, backed by The Mysterious Drumming Monks of Burbank. Man, what a night. We're going home to celebrate our technical virginity. We dedicate it to Britney Spears! Good night, everyone! See you tomorrow. 8:07 A third trophy for Britney, the Original Purity Ring-Wearing, Intact-Hymen-Flouting Pop Queen! She's now being whisked off in a golf cart with the host to do lines with Tai the Elephant in the V.I.E. section. (Watch out for that Tai—she's a real hoover.) 8:06 Kobes presents VIDEO OF THE YEAR. This is the first time we've actually paid attention to any of the nominees, and you know what? These videos suck. 7:55 There really is a sad irony in having Russell Brand—the most gleefully filthy-minded comic to come along in some time—host the most Jesusy, virginy, Purity Ringy-y VMAs like, ever. We're sure this says Something About America, but we'll wait until Levi Johnston (who's so hardcore—he tattooed his Purity Ring on, bitches) comes on as a surprise presenter to close the show. The tweens will go wild! 7:49 So much for the 2008 MTV Britney Meltdown Awards! She just picked up BEST POP VIDEO, forcing her back on stage for more ratings-friendly face-time. This is the most spectacularly uneventful Triumphant Comeback in history. We're crying glitter. 7:47 There is palpable, seething hatred for Paris Hilton in the room right now. 7:40 "Tokio Hotel [ˈtoːkio hoˈtɛl] is a German band founded in Magdeburg, Germany in 2001 by guitarist Tom Kaulitz, singer Bill Kaulitz, drummer Gustav Schäfer, and bassist Georg Listing." Ah—thanks, Wikipedia. 7:38 Yikes, Russell Brand is losing his voice. The audience, he lost about an hour-and-a-half ago. We really do like Brand, though, so we guide you back now to his legitimately funny interview with us from a few weeks back. It's almost over, Russell. 7:35 It's the Christina Aguilera accountants/background dancers again! Hi, guys! Remember us? From before? When we snuck in behind you into the dress rehearsal? No? OK, nevermind. By the way, we were just told the Fire Marshall shut down the ENTIRE SOUND STAGE. Mark Burnett was pleading with them for 20 minutes trying to get back inside. Seriously, we've never seen chaos like what we witnessed on our way inside here. 7:33 Zac Efron just threw his Purity Ring into the audience. A hysterical teen instantly jumped on it, then ran out of the studio, screaming, "I finally have a legitimate reason to pierce my labia!" 7:29 Rhianna just performed her new duet with T.I. This single doesn't rape Soft Cell, it rapes...the viral video kid who sings the "Numa Numa" song? 7:22 Jordin Sparks just threw down for Purity Ring wearers throughout the world. Or rather, in America. Stupid shit like Purity Rings could only exist here. 7:21 BEST HIP HOP VIDEO winner Lil Wayne just thanked three things: "Family, God, and Y'all," at which point the man wearing a yarmulke next to us clapped enthusiastically, wooed, and shouted back, "Tha's right! We here!" For what it's worth. 7:19 Ah, Slipknot. That's a little more like it—we remember feeling too old for this shit watching them take the stage back in the late '90s. Glad to see they're still committed to the mask shtick. We knew that would come back in style eventually! And we believe we've just been McLovin'd. 7:11 Pink's pleather leotard (pleathertard? No, that's Pam Anderson) has all the Gays in blog row moist in the panties. Oh, and a straight photographer from Reuters—for what's it's worth, Pinks. 7:07 Miley Cyrus was just caught getting busy with the bassist from Rock Band. For heaven's sake—he's not even in a real band, Miley. He's a video game bassist. Can't you ever show some self-restraint? 7:04 Ah yes, Slash and Shia LaBeouf, side by side, where they truly belong. We think this makes Shia's first public appearance since..the incident...and all we want is to see his pinkie. There it is! We love you and we're here for you, Shia's Pinkie. Oh, and Linkin Park won BEST ROCK VIDEO. 6:59 Commercial-time topic for discussion: Notice how the 25th Annual VMAs seem incredibly reluctant to admit to their own age? Face it, MTV: You old. 6:55 Live! From the Whiskey A Go Go! It's Paramore! Ha ha! Tricked you! They're right here, on a set cleverly designed to look like the Whiskey A Go Go. Also—forgive our old-fartiness, but who's Paramore? 6:53 We're not sure if Russell Brand is talking too quickly for us, or too esoterically, but some brain just dribbled out of our left nostril and onto our laptop. 6:45 We now take this boring Pussycat Dolls acceptance speech moment to offer you a video delight: Seth Green and Clark Duke from Greek and Sex Drive delivering a friendly shout-out to you, the Defamer reader! (We apologize in advance if the audio is lousy. We were fighting noise pollution from the Rock Band stage, hovering helicopters, and whatever was coming out of a nearby Joe Francis's mouth at the time.) Click to view 6:41 Russell Brand just delivered a breathless monologue as if he was late for a flight to a country that knows who he is. Lindsay Lohan just announced she's the new lead singer for AC/DC? We think? Yeah we definitely have a touch of sunstroke. 6:40 Lil' Wayne has the room on its feet. He's even lil'er in person! 6:37 Michael Phelps just got a standing ovation, then crapped the pool with a mumbled introduction. We'll assume it had something to do with Leona Lewis, as she is now performing. Behold, ladies and gentleman: what Simon Cowell would look like if he could come back to earth as a woman. 6:30 We thought Katy Perry was doing a fairly straightforward version of "Like A Virgin" by the TravAm BarkDJis pit, until she fooled us all and replaced the word "virgin" with "Jonas." Because they're all virgins, you see. We can't wait to see what she does with her cover of the Divinyls "I Touch Miley Self!" (Groan.) Oh well, we got "I Kissed A Girl" instead. This is jam of the summer! High five! 6:28 So THAT'S what those mobs of tweens were doing in the lot. Run, Jonas brothers, run! They'll tear you to shreds and consume you alive! 6:26 Apparently the Jonas Brothers are performing live from the set of 227. Jackee just sauntered by and pinched Nick's cheek. Aww... 6:24 Chris Brown gives a short and sweet acceptance speech; he seems genuinely surprised that Mrs. Jefferson didn't win instead. 6:22 Back from commercial and it's a surprise appearance by the world's premiere Cougar Temptress Queen, Demi Moore, growling out the nominees for BEST...uh...SOMETHING INVOLVING MALE R&B SINGERS. Oh, it's BEST MALE. 6:13 So we're finally in our seats, and apparently we've missed Britney Spears's, much-hyped, four-second appearance. BUT WAIT! She just won BEST FEMALE VIDEO, looking sparkly in a short gown custom designed by Giovanni di Sparkly. Forgive our tardiness, it's truly a madhouse on the lot the likes of which we have never seen in our lives. Lines leading seemingly nowhere, security who have no idea what event they're covering, and the random cater waiter carrying a tray of champagne. We think we just got sunstroke on the red carpet (though we met Sumner Redstone!). Back in a moment after we get our bearings. Click to view

A location can be as much the star of a movie or television show as the actors and actresses whose names top the credits. And New York is perhaps the biggest star ever (Yes, I know there are many other starry cities, but tonight we're doing NYC). So, what's your favorite movie or TV show where the Big Apple and its culture, sensibility, and aesthetic is intrinsic to the narrative? Mine is after the jump.

Yes, deforestation is a terrible problem and may ruin the earth, but this is just a bit much. Members of the environmentalist group Earth First communed in the woods of North Carolina recently to scream and cry at the tops of their lungs for the brethren flora. Either that, or some hoaxers created a prank video to make Earth First look even whackier than it already has with its "tree sits" and such. I can't decide. Judge for yourself after the jump.

Out of the 2006 Oscars came many things, among them an unlikely two-horse sprint—one gay, one racist and mangled—between Brokeback Mountain and Crash for Best Picture. Crash would win, its tapestry of bigoted Angelenos embarking upon a futuristic death race for ultimate ethnic supremacy striking a chord in many Academy voters. Some time passed, and news came down the transom that Crash would become a weekly TV series on Starz. (While Brokeback Mountain: The Series never really progressed past the point of some preliminary interest at that network's specialty offshoot, Gayz.) Well, friends, we're thrilled to now present for you the Crash series trailer. It might not have Matt Dillon and Sandra Bullock, but it does have Dennis Hopper—who told us personally about his enthusiasm for the series ("We had an orgy the other day. For me it's a joy,"), and who in it delivers what is sure to become his signature phrase ("OOOhhh—I'm scared of a black man with a gun!") with admirable aplomb. [Crash]

Now that those exhausting political conventions are finally over, we can get back to the issues that really matter to hardworking Americans: sex addiction, huge breasts, and plastic surgery! That's right, it's time for another installment of Dirt Sandwich, prepared by Defamer videographer (and viable third party candidate) Molly McAleer. What's her platform, you ask? Why, it's to make sure that ordinary people have access to both universal health care and celebrity clip montages. After all, when that phone rings at 3AM, we need a candidate who knows how to deal with Jennie Garth's dramatic 10-pound weight gain, not one who'll have to learn about it on the job. That's the kind of experience you'll be getting from Molly McAleer on Day One — won't you cast your vote today?

It was sweet when Bree and Dan posted corresponding "Boy Problems" and "Girl Problems" videos during the first LonelyGirl15 run. Yeah, it's heart-rending when crows mother kittens. But YouTube's biggest tearjerker has to be the story of Christian the Lion — coming to a theater near you, courtesy of Sony.The story: Two British guys adopt a lion cub in 1969, raise it for a couple years and then release it into the wild. Later, the pair go to to Africa to visit their old friend. Despite warnings that the cub will no longer recognize its old friends, it decides not to maim them. Or something. Anyway, watch the clip below and trust me, you'll squirt a few drops. 13 million others have, which is exactly why, during these troubled economic times, Sony Pictures just announced it plans to adapt the clip for a feature called "A Lion Called Christian."

Though we noted a while back that Tina Fey as Liz Lemon and VP candidate Sarah Palin share more than a passing resemblance, we were quick to point out their dramatic differences on issues like gay marriage, the economy, and crappy exes. Our Liz Lemon is a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat, we insisted — until Good as You reminded us that in a self-flagellating monologue during season one of 30 Rock, Lemon admitted that though she might tell her friends she was supporting Barack Obama, she'd likely cast a secret vote for John McCain. Is Fey, then, that much-pursued Hillary voter who can be lured to John McCain by nothing more than a fellow set of horn-rimmed glasses? Perhaps that Life cover shoot was more prescient than we realized... [Good as You]

Austin-based interactive ad agency Tocquigny embarrassed itself with a video meant to show prospective interns how fun it is to work at the company over the summer. Instead of showing how quirky and Internet-savvy Tocquigny was, it proved to be a turnoff — and a ripoff. Besides not copying someone else's work, what could Tocquigny have done differently? Using five examples the agency should have followed, we'll explain how to do a self-promotional corporate video right:Rule No. 1: Convince the video's participants that the end product will be less embarrassing if they don't worry about being embarrassed while they make it. Get your people to either commit themselves fully to the project, or stay out of the way. Vimeo's companywide lip synch of Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" wouldn't work nearly so well if the girl listening to her iPod at the beginning didn't keep such a straight face. Know what else doesn't hurt? Actually memorizing the lyrics.

Bay Area-raised biotech heiress Meghan Asha, who now lives in New York and egoblogs for fired Star editor-at-large Julia Allison's NonSociety, appears in an endorsement video for Cisco. The "Digital Cribs" lifestyle shoot has a brief product placement of a Cisco Linksys wireless router. Asha claims that she uses the Linksys for her home Wi-Fi network, which she calls "Geeking Out." Wait for the blooper which shows the whole setup's a fake, 23 seconds in:Click to view

Dozens of journalists were jailed as the Republican convention ended yesterday. Some reporters were set upon by dogs. NBC's Andrea Mitchell was attacked by balloons. It's dangerous work, but someone's got to do it. (This video will probably delight Wolf Blitzer).

Though ladykiller VMAs host Russell Brand is certainly no stranger to female anatomy, his elephant-starring VMAs commercial with Britney Spears was nearly waylaid when he became obsessed with, as he puts it, one "terrifying vagina." In a chat with the Ebert-usurping Ben Lyons, Brand details how the elephant's mammoth sexual orifice nearly blew his mind, causing him to be late to an initial meeting with Spears (and subsequently leading the confused pop singer to ID him on-air as "Russell Brown"). With colorful anecdotes like these, the Defamer liveblog of this Sunday's VMAs should be a breeze; most of all, we can't wait until an onstage Brand takes the Jonas Brothers aside to demonstrate the colorful things an ambitious trio is really capable of. [MTV]

Microsoft's new Seinfeld ad campaign proves you can't predict success. Here are five goofy ads that worked — plus the clip that probably sold Microsoft on Seinfeld. Above: A parody of Jacques Cousteau's undersea documentaries for Sun Microsystems.

As a speaker, John McCain had no hope of pulling off a capstone convention speech like his Democratic rival Barack Obama. The Republican presidential nominee could not completely banish the minor verbal stumbles that sometimes mark his campaign speeches, and his party's internal security apparatus apparently could not banish the opposition protesters who infiltrated the convention hall and repeatedly interrupted the speech and made everyone nervous. And besides, McCain was never going to get the added energy of being surrounded by 70,000 fans in a giant stadium while being filmed by CNN's $100,000 hovercam. But McCain's lack of polish might as well have been by design. He was far from an unelectable, W-level bumbler, but rough enough that he can now keep calling himself the underdog, and continue framing Obama as a fancy arrogant elitist. He even manages to look slightly heroic — to some, at least — while doing so.

· Say what you want about this act from last night's America's Got Talent—we're just thrilled to see the Gay Man's Chorus of Los Angeles keeping themselves busy in the chorus off-season. [AGT] · So those two "two sharp young writers" Dan Aykroyd mentioned are hard at work on Ghostbusters 3 are The Office co-EPs Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky. Pam + Slimer 4ever! [Variety] · Sarah Palin attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987. Also, she burned down a library after she found out the Moosewood Cookbook was vegetarian commie propaganda. [AP, Boston Herald] · Howie Mandel earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today, which came with a smaller matching star in an aluminum briefcase. Because he's made his biggest impact on a popular game show featuring people screaming at briefcases, you see. Oh... never mind. [Getty Images] · Attention all drug addicts currently loitering near or around Kirsten Dunst's hotel room: your days of villainy are numbered! [Yahoo] · And the same goes for you, female strippers in Australia accused of sexually penetrating the bachelor! [news.com.au]

Last night's premiere of the latest cycle of America's Next Top Model unveiled this season's epic theme—"As sci fi as we can possibly make this using things found at a dollar store"—to much squealy delight from the carefully selected pool of regular- and plus-sized replicants. While the audience seems to be dwindling for such catwalk-crawling minstrel shows (the ratings hit an all-time low), the series is to be commended for never failing to adapt and innovate. Take, for example, the introduction of exciting Glamonator 11.0 technology: A more sophisticated descendant of the Sleeper Orgasmatron, it's capable of producing an amazingly convincing hologram of a completely-over-it reality hostess who wishes she could fold up shop on this ghetto-ass exercise in model-search futility to spend more time on her Emmy-winning talk show. Smile with your circuits, ladies!

You've met Matthew McConaughey, Creepiest Beef Spokesman in the World, but now we'd like to introduce you to a different voiceover McConaughey: That of proud University of Texas alumnus and lifelong Longhorns fan, voicing an intro for preschool indoctrination video Baby Longhorn. ("BABY Longhorn® combines all the great things you love about the University of Texas, with all the things you want your lil’toddler to learn—numbers, letters, colors and more.") There's no mistaking those deep, caramel inflections, sedating your toddler into hypnagogic state that allows them to start calling offensive plays before they are even able to speak. But what happens in those moments right before the recording light turns red? Sit back and be amazed at the vast array of vocal warm-up tricks stashed up McConaughey's sleeve. [Baby Longhorn, TMZ]

Until now, we'd only heard of Austin-based interactive ad agency Tocquigny because of its beautiful if bizarre office design. After seeing a video documenting the agency's 2008 summer interns, put together in hopes of luring a crop for 2009, we kind of wish things had stayed that way. Shouldn't a culturally-in-touch ad agency know not to play Bon Jovi for a bunch of millennials? The video, below. A warning: Those prone to grinding their teeth should not proceed.

While waiting for former HP CEO Carly Fiorina to follow former eBay CEO Meg Whitman's speech with her own, MSNBC's Internet-only live video feed of the Republican National Convention caught this footage of Republican square-staters grooving to 1982's rockabilly hit, "Rock This Town," by The Stray Cats. The clip has a cautionary message for Obama's Facebook-generation supporters: When their candidate says he's "postpartisan," potential voters closing in on AARP membership clearly hear "postboomers."