It didn't take a tendency toward political correctness or what roastmaster Katt Williams called his "n****r Spidey sense" to perceive the more over-the-top racism in last year's Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav. From the blacks-only mandatory dress rehearsal to the "flying monkey" gags to the $11 worth of damage wreaked during Williams's reputed plastic-plate-and-utensil tantrum, we're pointed today to an epic tale of outrage and, ultimately, handsome compensation for the evening that set American race relations back roughly five days. We've come back since then, however, thanks to the equal time of this recent Williams tirade live from Las Vegas. Still, the network brass got off pretty easy; Jesse Jackson clearly would have cut their nuts off.

· If you didn't happen to catch Victoria—one part Cats, one part JonBenét Ramsey, and one part boneless chicken breast—on America's Got Talent, now's your chance. Just give this girl the trophy (or whatever it is they give on that show) already! [AGT]
· The lifeless carcass of Bravo's Project Runway was discovered inside a giant roll of chenille at the back of Mood Fabrics. [Gawker]
· Wow! Another original 90210 cast member was able to shuffle things around to accommodate an appearance on the new version. This must be one special spin-off. [Us]
· Pam Anderson pledges "no stripping" on her three-day stint as Australian Celebrity Big Brother's "uber special VIP guest." No matter how hard they ask. Unless they get her drunk. Or ask. [Sun]
· We're happy to inform you that http://rim.jobs is totally safe for work. [http://rim.jobs]

Well, she's not in a bikini (awwww), but it is Molly McAleer (yayyyyy!), Defamer's resident videographer and ToDoLogist, back with another fascinating chapter from her ongoing, serialized memoir, Musings of an Asian Sex Worker. In today's gripping installment, our heroine battles her greatest foe yet—Clown on a Bike Guy—with the help of her crime- and hangover-fighting companion, Alexis Hyde. Click or die.

No, we did not head down to sleepy Palo Alto for the Search SIG meeting featuring small-time players like Mahalo, Wikia and Microsoft, but Mahalo founder Jason Calacanis seems to wish we did. But why bother going when we can get juicy quotes about Jimmy Wales, who founded for-profit Wikia after failing to figure out how to milk Wikipedia for cash from our home office? Those who tuned into Calacanis's Ustream live video channel got juicy quotes like "Guy's got an ethics problem" and "It's naive to think encyclopedias have anything to do with search"? while bemused Wikia representative Jeremie Miller Nick Sullivan sat on the panel. (Wales didn't even show up) You stay classy, Jason! After the jump, a firsthand report from our tipster, including more of Calacanis's wit and wisdom.

Embattled pet-owner Dane Cook is finally being made to answer for his Pinscher-loaf sins, as his eviction trial for failing to pick up after his miniature canine companion Beast has just completed the jury selection process. (See him attacked by pragmatic paparazzi—"C'mon, Dane. It's just dog crap!"—above.) Among the questions asked by his counsel of potential candidates:

Click to viewJulie Wainwright is back. The marketing brain behind the Pets.com sock puppet, Wainwright is now touting a me-too Web 2.0 site called SmartNow, which features user-submitted videos and articles from experts, targeted at women like Wainwright. But how many women are there like Wainwright, really?

Disgraced video comic Loren Feldman has been removed from Verizon's phone and broadband video-on-demand library. I wouldn't compare the guy to Lenny Bruce, but this much is true: Feldman, a member of both the Screen Actors Guild and the risqué Friars Club in New York, goes out of his way to be offensive and sometimes it works. OK, so sometimes it doesn't. His year-old "TechNigga" clip, which Verizon didn't even carry, got Feldman axed from the lineup. "TechNigga" consisted of a Jew portraying a stereotypical black thug — booze, dope, hookers, etc. What could go wrong? Far funnier and less awwwwwwkward is Feldman's puppet interview with Jason Calacanis's bulldogs from April. The puppet host is a spoof of marketing consultant Shel Israel. At this point, you either know all about Shel and his contempt for Feldman, or you don't care. Just watch the video.

· We're thrilled to see that E! is perfectly prepared to throw their First Family of Reality under the bus if it means getting a pretty inspired sketch on the air. [Chelsea Lately]
· Nicole Kidman delivered a beautiful girl today named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban. Her birthing canal was then swiftly Botoxed back to its original state. [Reuters]
· When we heard the title, "Molly Ringwald on Molly Ringwald," we figured we were in for some brat-packer-themed porn (à la Pretty in the Pink). Sadly, there is no Molly-on-Molly action to be had here, but cheap thrills abound nonetheless. [LAT]
· Speaking of John Hughes heroines: Ever wonder what happened to Curly Sue? Wonder no more! [MySpace via Too Much Awesome]
· Hey, kids! What time is it?! [ffffound.com]

Back after the long but not long enough Fourth of July weekend (truth be told, we really coulda used a four day weekend), Molls and her BFF Edward are here to bring you a special musical version of tonight's To Do's. While it's not quite as ambitious as Joss Whedon's "Once More With Feeling" episode of BtVS, we think you'll be quite impressed. Enjoy!
· Stevie Wonder at the Hollywood Bowl.
· American Idols Live! at the Staples Center.
· Reel Talk With Stephen Farber at the Veterans Wadsworth Theater.

In a summer that's been largely bereft of tantalizing television moments (The Two Coreys notwithstanding), the premiere of Vh1's I Love Money has been shining like a beacon of bad taste on our horizons for some time. Conceived as the network's version of the now stagnant Real World / Road Rules Challenge franchise, I Love Money puts some of our favorite former contestants of dating shows like Flavor Of Love and I Love New York together in a villa to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real ... real drunk, that is. The show's first episode aired as a 90-minute special last night and, as expected, it blew our collective minds in the way it unabashedly celebrates the lowest of lowbrow culture.

After last week's harrowing episode of The Two Coreys, in which fallen teen angel Corey Haim was led to the Defamer comments section like a sacrificial, desperately-seeking-series-regular-work lamb, we stumbled upon a comment of interest. (Yes, this was a commenter commenting upon a clip of Haim reading our comments: sort of the post-cultural equivalent of staring into one of those fabulous '70s infinity mirrors.)

Did you stuff your face with enough beef over the holiday weekend? If not, Matthew McConaughey is gonna be mighty pissed off. Check out the new radio spot he recorded for the National Cattleman's Beef Association. You know, the dudes who came up with that "Beef, it's what's for dinner" slogan? Well, they got themselves a brand new golden-haired, A-list pitchman and the results have become a bit of an obsession here in the Defamer offices. Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier. Listen to the ad after the jump.

At long last, The Bachelorette—that epic, six-week-long search for eternal love in which inarticulate Mediterranean beauty DeAnna Pappas is made to choose a suitable lifemate from a man-harem of 25—reaches its chilling conclusion tonight on ABC. Stopping by the GMA studios to show off her sparkly new hardware for a visibly envious Chris Cuomo, Pappas explained the difficult-to-grasp concept of having to choose between "two totally different people. You got one guy on one hand, and another guy on another hand, and I'm two totally different people with each guy." This suggests that Pappas is the relationship equivalent of tofu, her spongy personality absorbing the flavors of any man with which she comes in contact. Somewhere, Brad Womack is breathing a sigh of relief that he ditched this chick at the Fantasy Proposal Gazebo, and chose instead to hold out for some hot, Serbian supermodel ass like his tire-fortune-heir predecessor.

Now that it seems likely a large number of Google employee/parents will have to pull their kids out of the company's daycare program, it's a good time to revisit this video set to a tune by children's songwriter Laurie Berkner. Mock this clip if you must - I know I did - but Google is a very big deal to youngsters. Try to grasp the traumatic experience pending for preschoolers about to be cut off from their daily dose of Googlyoogly goodness because Mom and Dad are $12,000 a year short. It's just not right.

Sure, the English may have invented the national founding document, parliamentary democracy, the bicameral legislature and baited their bears to extinction with bulldogs. But who taught those bulldogs how to ride skateboards? Yanks from California. We just took one of the ten best fireworks displays from IAC's Vimeo and used Apple's genius Final Cut Pro to luma-key the footage over clips of skateboarding bulldogs found with Google search on YouTube. The audio quality isn't as good as it could be, but at least we're having more fun than evil foreigners — if not the olds.

A full half of our usual readership came to Valleywag on Christmas day last year. Even more showed up on New Year's Eve. We figure a good percentage of you will be stuck at the office today, too. So if you can't come out to see the Fourth of July fireworks tonight, we'll bring them to you, with the Web's 10 best fireworks videos. A surprising six come from IAC's Vimeo, proving that hosting expensive high-definition content is totally worth it at least once a year. All of them are guaranteed not to maim small children or start wildfires.

• TomCruise.com

It's no secret that Bravo is a gay friendly network. They've got Kathy Griffin, Project Runway (at least for a little while longer) and shows about people getting their hair did. Plus, who could forget about their great big sexy bear, Mr. Tom Colicchio? But if you happened to tune into Bravo on Monday night, you may have bore witness to an historic milestone: The first ever gay personal lubricant ad to appear on television! Check out the video after the jump.