At long last we came to the family visits episode on last night's The Bachelorette, where husband-hungry Bachelor ejectee DeAnna Pappas—befuddled by how her stunning Mediterranean looks and alternately vacant and needy personality has yet to bag her a man—was practically smacking her lips as she assessed the studding viabilities of her four final suitors. Would she settle on freespirited snowboard instructor Jesse, strongly silent real estate attorney Jeremy, wholesome single dad Jason, or guy-she-really-wants-to-bang Graham? While we're still several weeks away from learning who the lucky guy is, we do know which of the four it won't be: That's right, it's Graham, whose aloofness and off-the-charts nail-ability carried him this far into the competition, but who ultimately never quite slobbered enough to convince Pappas that some sparkly hardware would be making an appearance at her moment of Gazebo Redemption. May the best rose-holder win.

Now that the new season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List has begun, we've had a chance to spend some quality time with the comic and her much-trotted-around billionaire boyfriend, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak. Sure, we know the two have already broken up, but observing them interact—behold the clip above, in which a Segway training session is as tender and romantic as a shared plate of spaghetti in Lady and the Tramp—at least gave us some inkling into what made their much-buzzed about relationship work while it lasted. But now comes the shocking!—OK, not all that shocking—news that Griffin and The Woz never, you know, actually...did it. From usmagazine.com:

In the clip embedded below, News.com's Dan Farber asks Facebook's VP of technical operations Jonathan Heiliger how Facebook manages to keep up with adding 50,000 new users per day. Heilliger responds: "We're adding a lot of infrastructure and we're adding a lot of servers." That much we understood. But then Farber probes further, asking Heilliger "what's the basic architecture for delivering information at low latency?" And Heilliger answered, losing us for good:

That JC Penney commercial, which featured two teens practicing for a naked romp in the basement? The one that won a prize at the Cannes Lions Awards this weekend and spread quickly on the Web yesterday? It was an unauthorized fake, and executives at the department store are royally pissed. "It's obviously inappropriate and nothing we would ever condone," Penney's chief marketing officer told the Wall Street Journal. "We're very disappointed that our logo and brand position were used in that way." Thus began the blame game over who unleashed this mutant sorta-sex tape, one that will seem oh-so-familiar to anyone who recalls, say, the Miley Cyrus incident with Vanity Fair.

Salty old radio crank Don Imus may have moved from CBS to ABC (by way of shame and unemployment), but he's as charming and irrepressibly bigoted as ever! Just 14 months after getting fired for referring to Rutgers' women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos," Imus interrupted an announcer on his ABC show to ask about the race of a Dallas Cowboys cornerback who was arrested six times. "What color is he?" Imus asked. Told the cornerback was black, Imus said, "there you go. Now we know." To the casual observer, this might look like an open-and-shut case of racism, but Imus has basically never been held accountable for his many slurs against blacks, Jews, Arabs or gays, so he's probably assuming ABC will eagerly swallow his comically implausible excuse for these latest comments: "I meant that he was being picked on because he's black." Oh, Imus. We knew no 40-second delay could stop your wacky racism. Audio clip after the jump.

Molls was alone, sitting with her empty glass. Her four walls, follow her through her past. She was on a Los Angeles train, she emerged in heavy rain. And you, the loyal Defamer audience, were waiting there, swimming through apologies. She remembers searching for the perfect words, she was hoping you might change your mind. She remembers hipsters sleeping next to her, riding on the Metro.

Last night's episode of Living Lohan was filled to the brim with heartbreak. Emotions, both minutely real and highly fake, were on display for the cameras. The actual sound of Dina's skin cracking as her now-infamous crocodile tears struggled to liquefy was audible. And, as every Dina-phile knows, each opportunity to feign care for her cherished cash cow kids brings another lesson from the one and only Mother of the Century. After watching Dina and her brood prepare for a wild 'n crazy trip to Las Vegas that may or may not be ruined by lovable lush/I Know Who Killed Me fan Nana Lohan, Defamer Video Vixen Molly McAleer plucked three classic family values as illustrated by Dina herself:

Move over Norma Desmond — Katherine Heigl is here. After Heigl's baffling antics over the past few weeks, namely snubbing her Grey's Anatomy fame enablers and any fan who may have actually enjoyed her pretty neurotic mess of a character on the show, this clip of Heigl voicing her disgust with "writers?!?" proves just how big Heigl's nicotine-scented head has grown. And to make matters worse, the images awaiting you after the jump of Heigl vacationing with emasculated husband Joshua Kelley, in which her emasculated servant is used as both her kickboxing target and ashtray give new meaning to Desmond's infamous diva-turned-delinquent madwoman trajectory. Catch Heigl at her heights while you can before the inevitable backlash to the backlash to the backlash begins, after the jump:

After the troubling events that brought Season One of The Two Coreys to its Corey-splintering conclusion, we honestly weren't sure if we'd ever see the two best friends and faded idols in the same room again. Still, as all of Hollywood knows by now, Haim is ready to work, and work—that undependable mistress—eventually came: Haim was a last-minute addition to The Lost Boys 2, necessitating the above reunion in a diner booth. And while we've always enjoyed the lightly structured drama that propels each and every episode, nothing prepared us for the bombshell revelations that would come tumbling out of the Bottomless Coffee Thermos of Shame. Did Corey H. just say he was "raped?" Did Corey F. just respond by saying he was "molested?"

The heat, a killer surf, and a clear shot of Hollywood's favorite shirt-eschewing leading man was a recipe for disaster this weekend. Having returned from his recent Nicaraguan escapades a proud flop-owner in search of his missing flip, Matthew McConaughey combated our city's punishing heat wave by hitting the tasty breaks of Malibu's Paradise Cove. It was there that several upstanding members of our city's paparazzo community—hoping to catch that elusive, $1 million photo of McConaughey hanging toes to the nose while clutching his newborn—were confronted, and ultimately assaulted, by an intimidating and unruly mob of board-shorted surfing henchmen. From the LAT:

When we reported on comedian George Carlin's death last night, we posted one of our favorite Carlin clips, and the commenters responded in kind. Watching the clips, posted below, one can't help but feel that the foul-mouthed, political firebrand Carlin had some hand in paving the way for other "angry" funny men like Lewis Black, Bill Maher, and even Michael Moore. An iconoclast at every opportunity, Carlin was vicious and biting but also, in some sneaky sly way, a bit kind. Enjoy that perfect, sour (and already missed) cocktail after the jump.

Well, if you played or payed attention to last night's installment of OMT, you knew this was coming. What are the most awesome movies of the 1970s that take place in, came out in, or just make you think of the summer? I'll get the world's first-ever summer blockbuster out of the way with its amazing original theatrical trailer.

In honor of the first official summer weekend, let's share our favorite summertime flicks from the golden 80s. You know, movies that came out in, take place in, or just make you harken back to the sultry days of the summers of your youth. I'll get us started with the endearing tale of four best friends wandering through an idyllic American landscape to view a rotting corpse.

Now that she's quite pregnant, 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub is doing what any red-blooded American mother would do-getting into firearms! As the adorable actress explains, "I have a family to protect." Video after the jump.

If there's one thing you can count on from the hard working journalists who populate the infotainment sector, it's that they will stop at nothing — nothing! — to get you your dirt. That's right, you think that Katie Couric is going to ask Justin Timberland Timberlake if he stuffed his shorts to achieve that bulky package look he's sporting in The Love Guru? Hell to the no! That's strictly the realm of nose-to-the-grindstone warriors like Access Hollywood's Shaun Robinson, who strive every day to bring you the stories that make your world turn. Just imagine where we'd be as a nation if someone as dedicated to the pursuit of truth and justice as Miss Robinson is was around to ask the tough questions about WMDs! But we digress. Each and every week, Defamer's Molly McAleer puts together another episode of Dirt Sandwich as a means to honor these commendable souls who brave fierce junket conditions to appear on our television sets nightly. Never forget, people, never forget!

· Do you mean to tell us that between the combined casts of The View and The Love Guru, no one has the balls or heart to break the news to the Whoopsters that Timberland is the producer outdoorswear company, Timberlake is the singer, and Timbaland is the producer? Ugh, never mind. We can't keep those three straight either. [The View]
·Mary Lynn Rajskub's prenatal cravings to put a .22 caliber bullet between your eyes are getting stronger than ever. [MySpace]
· First Joan Rivers is booted from British TV for throwing around a few colorful words, now Martha Stewart isn't even being allowed into the country. Last we checked, this was the nation ruled by Queen Elizabeth II, right? When did they suddenly lose their tolerance for a crusty old bag? [Yahoo]
· Non-SAG hamster needed. [Craigslist]
· Citibank filed suit against poor Ed McMahon, saying he owes then $180,000. That's in addition to the $750,000 he owes AmEx. This really has gone too far, and if no one else will do it, then we suppose that leaves it to us: Please join us for Live Ed, a weekend-long concert benefit outside Defamer HQ, including performances by Blinded by Thongs, and, um, well that's it so far. More confirmations as they come! [TMZ]

Martin and Lewis. Batman and Robin. The Captain and Tenille. When it comes to getting the most bang for your entertainment buck, duos always do it better. The same can be said for Defamer To Do's. As much as we adore Molls, I think we'd all concur that something transcendent happens when her friend Kendall joins in on the fun. That is, until now. We are sad to report that the two former besties are now warring. Find out what's causing the tension between these two, as well as what to do in Los Angeles this weekend, after the jump.

What appears to be a very innocent, all-American clip of lush-turned-lesbian Lindsay Lohan playing a game of baseball on the set of Labor Pains kind of reminds us of watching a Disney film from the '90s. Upon first viewing, you walk away feeling warm and fuzzy, confident that life is full of happy endings, laughter, and pretty hair. But after watching it about five times, you may notice the brief glimpse of cock sneakily inserted into a frame by a pervy animator, or an underlying message about females being the weaker sex. In the case of this Lindsay video, we were at first struck by the innocence of LiLo taking part in America's pasttime, but after watching the clip a second and third time, we know our lasting memories will be of Lindsay using a grip's body to shield her so that she could light a smoke (not to mention her jiggling around as she lamely runs the bases). The video and some additional analysis follows after the jump.

While a young student at Seattle's snootiest private prep school, Lakeside, dweebish Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates was asked to write the computer program that arranged students' class schedules. Having just absorbed the student bodies from a private girl's school, Gates gamed the system to make sure all his classes had nothing but the hotties, even though males outnumbered females 3-1. He may not be the sexiest CEO out there, but points for trying.

EBay sellers don't like the fact that buyers can rate them, but they can't rate buyers. Especially since eBay charges sellers with low ratings more. At eBay Live in Chicago, this animosity spilled over as one seller, caught here on video, screamed at eBay employees on stage: "Open your eyes! Nobody's here! You're putting sellers out of business!" The clip, after the jump.