The subway does the strangest thing to people. For example, sometimes, the penises of men will escape their pants! This is a strange phenomenon that's only well-documented in retrospect. Until now. Uncensored flasher action, after the jump.

Huzzah, the time has come for yet another "Awful Craigslist Media Job Ad of the New Depression." This one has a riddle!

"Craigslist killer" Philip Markoff was arraigned on grand-jury charges that include first-degree murder, robbery and two counts of armed kidnapping. As if Craigslist users needed another reason to feel jumpy.

George W. Bush spoke critically of Barack Obama in a Washington Times story being pushed hard by Drudge tonight, a story so big and important that the Times didn't bother to insert quotation marks before posting it to their website.

Do you have a car? Are you able to "work long hours"? Are you willing to sell yourself into journalistic indentured servitude for less than half a pittance? Here's your chance to edit a Pulitzer Prize-winning paper!

The media job market is tough. But there are always freelancing opportunities on Craigslist! Right? Right! Terrible, degrading freelance opportunities. Follow these onerous submission guidelines and you too could one day earn literally dozens of dollars, by writing!

• It's only been a week since Conan took over the top-rated Tonight Show, but David Letterman has already passed over him in the ratings. [NYT]
• Also: Dave Letterman's new contract will keep him at CBS through '12. [LAT]
• Yesterday the Boston Globe's largest union rejected the New York Times Co.'s proposed package of cuts. The NYT responded by implementing a 23 percent pay cut anyway and now the union is taking the matter to court. [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Lou Dobbs. And thank God for that. [NYO]
• It's official: Ari Emanuel is the new Mike Ovitz! Both the New York Times and The Daily Beast invoke Ovitz's name in lengthy pieces on "the pre-eminent power player in Hollywood" and "Hollywood's new don." [NYT, TDB]
• Sound the alarms! Swine flu has returned to Condé Nast! [Daily Intel]

As if it's not hard enough being unemployed right now, Nigerian scammers are trolling Craigslist, wasting the jobless' precious — OK, not so precious — time with fake employment offers. Hopefully no one's gullible enough to send money.

Are you broke like everyone else and in need of shelter? Would you want to live in some lady's house and sometimes do "telephone sex therapy" in exchange for free rent and maid service? Well then sexpert Susan Block (sorta maybe NSFW) has the job for you!

Law-enforcement officials have been slamming Craigslist's prostitute ads for years. CEO Jim Buckmaster's response has been benign: We don't profit from the ads, we're very nice and friendly with the cops, etc. No more. Push Buckmaster too hard, and he will cut you, as South Carolina just learned.

Need a job, lovely lady? No, no, it's not prostitution, I swear. You just go out with a guy as his "wingwoman" and steer other girls towards him, and fend off other guys trying to horn in on his chicks. Not wanting to fuck him yourself should be easy!:

In your total ripoff Tuesday media column: the worst media internship offer in at least a couple days, flackery invades the media (moreso), and a J-school student would rather not help solve a murder:

Looking for a job? Has anyone ever told you that you have muse-like qualities? Do you have a driver's license and 8-24 hours free each week? If so have we got the job for you!

Sometimes life can just be endlessly perplexing. Like when sane, rational people listen to Glenn Beck's maniacal rantings and they wonder, "whereforth dost this particular strain of lunacy cometh?" Now we know with absolute certainty.

Jobs! Everybody needs one to pay for booze and porcelain figurine collections and such, right? We can't all be Ben Silverman and douche our way to the top! So we've been keeping an eye out!

Here's the backwards result of the legal crusade against Craigslist: The site never used to make money from its "erotic services" ads. But the service tells Valleywag that it's now planning to profit from porn.

• Veteran theater producer Rocco Landesman has been nominated to be the next chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts. [NYT]
• Why did David Geffen try to buy a stake in the New York Times? It wasn't because he thought he'd make money, that's for certain. [Newsweek]
• After taking some heat over a $75,000 speaking fee he received last week, the Times's Tom Friedman says he now plans to return the money. [LAT]
• Sarah Palin's book deal with HarperCollins is a go. How much money was involved isn't clear but the memoir will be out in 2010, which just so happens when she'll be running for reelection in Alaska. [LAT, AP]
• Bad news, hooker fans: Craigslist is dropping its erotic services section. [WP]

Under pressure from state officials after a Boston medical student reportedly killed a masseuse he met on Craigslist, the classifieds site is cancelling its racy "Erotic Services" section with a new one reviewed by employees.

We don't think this Craigslist ad from a supposed Goldman Sachs banker is real. For one thing, whoever heard of an employed investment banker? Still, his kink is a real kick!

America might be in the midst of an economic death spiral or whatever, but there still ridiculously cushy jobs available for people marketers want to reach (young/not poor). Both involve drinking, for money.