New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser is doing her very best to win "Most Hysterical Anti-'Ground Zero Mosque' Column of the Day." Did it contain the word "perverted?" Check. "Erect?" Check. "Ball gag?" Check. Andrea, you win!

Have you heard of Tom Emmer, the far-right Republican candidate for governor of Minnesota? He wants to amend the state constitution to block federal laws. He's also anti-gay marriage. Oh, and he enjoys the monetary support of Target.

Sharron Angle, the far-right Senate candidate from Nevada whose ineptitude may keep Harry Reid in office, gave a hilarious interview to Fox News over the weekend explaining her selective media strategy: "We needed to have the press be our friend."

Underground 'Doomsday' bunkers: not just for paranoid maniacs any more! (Yes they are).

Who should be Tennessee's next governor? Why not this fellow? His name is Basil Marceax ("dot com") and if you vote for him he will "immune you from all state crimes for the rest of you life."

In response to this weekend's joint US-South Korean naval exercises in the Sea of Japan, North Korea today said it will launch a "sacred war" and use its "nuclear deterrent" to crush the imperialists and its puppet regime.

This is a video made by The Onion in 2007, showing a congressman—played by an actor—read out a largely classified bill about a zombie invasion. Recently, it's been making the rounds on Facebook—but not as a satire.

Dream presidential candidate Glennifer Beck was on his television program last night talking about liberation theology and religion and stuff and he dropped some theological-historical knowledge on us: The Jews killed Jesus! Haven't you missed that old saw?

Wake up, slumbering moviegoers! As you chew your buttery popcorn and enjoy Hollywood's latest "entertainment," The Kids Are All Right, your innocent children are being mentally imprisoned by gays. Sniffing coke and having gay sex, for kids? Andrea Peyser reports!

The North Iowa Tea Party has replaced that insane billboard comparing Obama to Hitler, Lenin.

Most Americans want Glenn Beck to be our next president and return us to prosperity. The only hiccup? Getting him to run! Fortunately, the clown lady in this video is circulating a petition to change all that.

A Michigan woman has been sentenced to nine to 30 years in prison for having sex with her biological son, whom she had given up for adoption and later tracked down on Facebook. He was 14 at the time.

For years, Anderson Cooper has been admirably investigating the cult of Scientology. Scientology is determined to get back at AC for his lack of respect. Their latest tactic: distributing an entire magazine about AC's "History of Lies." Let's look!

Seattle cartoonist Molly Norris created "Everybody Draw Mohammed" day earlier this year as a humorous way to stand up for free speech. Didn't go over so well. Live and learn. Now, Al Qaeda wants her dead for it. Unacceptable.

New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser is an expert in both the sweet arts of sexy time, and the dark arts of informational subterfuge. You should therefore trust Andrea when she tells you: spies do not need to be whores.

Former congressman and presidential candidate Tom Tancredo is an unlikeable human; whenever GOP candidates invite him to their rallies, they immediately regret doingso. And yesterday, Tancredo went on a tear against Barack Obama, using the most epic, hilarious language available.

Robert Tyrell is a 29 year-old resident of Villa Rica (translation: "noble small town"), GA. He lives at home with his mom. Things he possesses: male pride, a gun. Things he does not possess: ironing skills, gratitude, problem-solving abilities.

New York Post sex columnist Andrea Peyser is positively smitten with America's heartthrob, Lindsay Lohan. It's so obvious. Andrea's just like a little kid, spewing false insults at her crush object to cover up her undying love.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D - NV) is fighting a tough re-election campaign against former Nevada Assemblywoman Sharron Angle. "Tough," partly because he has high unfavorables. And partly because Sharron Angle keeps doing things like encouraging his assassination.

Delightfully insane congresswoman Michele Bachmann has found more incontrovertible proof that Barack Obama is the Worst President of All Time: he is creating a so-called "global economy" where countries are "bound" to each other, economically. Who will stop this madman?