Katrina Pierson, a person Donald Trumps chooses to represent him on television, wore a necklace made out of ammunition last night on CNN. When someone on Twitter pointed this out, she countered with an insane remark about abortion.

When you're trapped in an elevator with an inconsolable monster, at what point do you begin wondering whether you've died and been sent to some especially cruel hell? Is it when he repeatedly rings the emergency bell, or starts loudly singing Metallica, or when he tells the woman trying to help to suck his cock?

Tough day? Long commute to work this morning? At least you're not one of the 18 maniacs currently rowing the 2,400 miles from Monterey, California to Honolulu, Hawaii.

A Newark-bound United Airlines flight from Hong Kong is carrying a passenger who claims to have "poisoned everyone on board." There is no evidence the passenger, who is being restrained, actually poisoned anyone, but this has all the makings of a good zombie movie opening.

The always hermetic Bilderberg Group is currently holding its annual meeting in England, thus making it the perfect time for the BBC to host America's foremost raving lunatic, Alex Jones, purveyor of foil-hat-making message board Infowars.com.

Maybe he was putting it off all week, but a man waiting in line to apply for a passport in Manhattan became so frustrated on Friday that he escaped through a fire exit and then climbed into the ceiling of another floor.

"Local Voice" Kathleen O'Brien Wilhelm, writing in the Avon Lake, Ohio Patch, thinks it's just downright wasteful to put up "Deer Crossing" signs. Why? Because they can't read, silly!

When the video of a guy talking about filming a naked "gorilla" man is as entertaining as the video of the naked "gorilla" man itself, that's how you know you're in Philadelphia, city of stars, cast of lunatics.

Former Saturday Night Live star and current raving lunatic Victoria Jackson has some thoughts on Todd Akin and the controversy surrounding his "legitimate rape" comments. They are, of course, very scientific and well-researched. Here are some of her coherent opinions on the matter:

A Queens man who broke into rap mogul Sean Combs' East Hampton house this past spring, tried on his clothes, and drank his Hpnotiq has just been charged with trespassing and petit larceny, The New York Post reports.

"World's most famous McDonald's employee" Mirlande Wilson—who claims she has Maryland's winning Mega Millions ticket but hasn't decided whether or not she'll accept her winning yet—almost definitely didn't win the lottery. But, damn, she has totally won the lottery-centric news cycle. Check out the latest nonchalant multi-millionaire quotes she gave to The New York Post about her supposedly winning ticket:

There's a big story floating around the universe right now, and it's all yours, for $1.5 million.

Living alone always sounds so good, doesn't it? You'd have complete control over the remote control. You could always finish the last of the cereal without feeling guilty about it. You could walk around naked every morning. The possibilities are endless.

According to a Harvard psychiatrist, about 25% of psychiatric patients don't have anything wrong emotionally, just physically, and treating their illness can cure their mental problems. So, you're not depressed after all, you just have lupus, Lyme disease, or maybe cancer. Yay!

When police in Arizona responded to a complaint of a man, "white and in his 50s" with his pants down and wiggling his hips in public, they found Michael Polley at his apartment door, still pantless and "immediately angry."

This is the first poster for the Mel Gibson comedy The Beaver, and... um? It's just one big joke about Mel Gibson telling us that he's crazy. I mean, who are the ad wizards that came up with this one??!

Actor/squatter Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, are seeking refugee status in Canada. Evi told the CBC, "We feel our lives are in danger," and referenced "murdered" actors Heath Ledger and David Carradine, who were friends with Randy.

For some, riding a scooter at a fast clip is enough to get the adrenaline pumping and riding backwards would be heart attack inducing. For this guy, riding backwards is just the beginning. Watch him own the road inside.

Meg Whitman has now spent $119 million of her own money in her bid for Earth's worst job, governor of California. She's broken NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg's 2009 self-financing record of $110 million. Isn't it time for an intervention?

Eighteen percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim, according to a new poll. The same number of Americans have "had a ghostly experience." America: Where every fifth person is reliably crazy. (For the record, Obama is Hindu.)