• NYT says "[Redacted], you [redacted] [redacted] of the CIA. Go [redacted] a up your [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] until it [redacted]." Ouch. [NYT]
  

Here's today's dose of wisdom for guys from the Men's Health website. It's good advice, and we think the world would be a much happier place if every dude had a better idea of how to behave at the bukiluki buffet. Also, nice job to whoever put the piece up: You've earned your boss, subpar oral sex provider Dave Zinczenko, yet another coveted Gawker mention!

• The Chandler family, former owners of the Los Angeles Times, are unhappy with the way Tribune is selling itself off. [NYT]
  

• David Carr: Times, Washington Post loyalty programs "cheesy." [WWD]
  

• Evil, Inc.'s Rupert Murdoch and Liberty Media's John C. Malone kiss and make up. [NYT]
  

• Guy who told Murdoch to buy MySpace quits. [Guardian]
  

• Bill Keller, everyone he knows, disagrees with NYT ombudsman (sorry, "Public Editor") Byron "Barney" Calame on banking story. [NYT]
  

Earlier: Gawker's coverage of Dave Zinczenko

• Maya Rudolph and P. T. Anderson (who, in our book, count as 'good' celebrities) sue their landlord over broken elevator, bedbug infestation. [NYDN]
  

Oh, don't kid yourself, Amy, none of it is unwanted.

Today's Page Six reports — almost a month after the fact — that Seventeen editor Atoosa Rubenstein's legions are abandoning Big Momma because of her "impossible" demands and the "backbreaking" workload. Why are things so tough around the office? Because Atoosa, you see, is a star. Her dreams of fame and televised glory come first, and every last staffer will work without food or water until the 'Toos meets her goal.

On Fox News yesterday, media whoring Men's Health EIC Dave Zinczenko appeared to promote his new book; LA sex writer Anna David was patched in, for female counterpoint purposes, via satellite. This was interesting because, alas, David has had the misfortune of Zinczenko's mouth on her lady parts. As Radar explains, in April 2003, David and New York "sex" columnist Amy Sohn traded coasts for a Playboy article. David spent a few days dating/humping men in New York, and Sohn did the same in LA:

We were trawling through the Times's Sunday Vixen-quality blowjob of Dave Zinczenko - a blowjob which makes July's Forbes profile of the Men's Health editor look like a cursory handjob from a scabby-fisted crackwhore by comparison - when we started to wonder: When was it coming? Sure, we saw the bit about the Pussy Palace in the Hamptons that he shares with Dan Abrams, but when would we get the anecdote about the death of GQ icon Art Cooper? Well, it was down near the bottom, but the article did comply with the law that any profile of Zinczenko must, at some point, recycle this story. How has the legend of Cooper's tragic demise evolved over the years? After the jump, a quick look down the ages.

[Second best Zinczenko-ism immediately followed, when he insisted that the sex appeal of actual fat-asses was a "tough calzone to swallow." That one's for you, Bobby Baccala!]

We're hearing that eight employees have left leading men's magazine Men's Health over the last eight weeks. While not exactly Vibe-like in its level of bloodletting, we're curious: Is there some kind of hellish turmoil going on at the title that makes a worker a week decide to pursue other opportunities, or is it just research for Dave Zinczenko's next book, The Staff Diet: The Reduction Plan That Will Decimate Your Organization, Reshape Your Staff, And Fuck Up Morale For Life? If you've heard anything, drop us a line.

We're not sure whether Dave Zinczenko likes blowjobs - Oh, who are we kidding, everyone likes blowjobs. And he's Dave Zinczenko! - but he gets one today from James Brady, in what has to be the most mortifying public display of oral attention from an elderly person ever. Brady even takes out his teeth. The piece extols Zinczenko's (or, as Brady calls him, "The Z Man" - we're as sick as you, honestly) editing prowess: Men's Health is now the biggest magazine in its category, outselling former powerhouses Esquire and GQ ("Fit," as a correspondent writes, "is the new dick."), his literary endeavors (Dave wrote both The Abs Diet and his new one, How To Touch Dave Zinczenko's Cock: A Guide For Women), even the summer house he shares with BFF Dan Abrams, which is apparently a non-stop pussy party. In fact, so disgusted were we by the fawning fellations that we almost missed the throwaway admission at the end:

• Time Inc. to launch SI Edge, fitness mag that won't offer abs tips. Retorts Zinczenko: "[W]e promise not to point out that he's naming his magazine after a shaving cream." [NYP]
• Hey, remember the big USA Today expose on how the phone companies were colluding with the government to create a big database of all sorts of domestic phone-call records? Yeah, well, the paper's still convinced about the database, but it's not so sure anymore the telcos played along. [USAT]
• Was Pemberton's Spin too much like Blender? Plus, a Detailser leaves to become — wha? — a morning-show DJ. In Oregon. [WWD]

Poor, dedicated WWD reporter Jeff Bercovici undergoes the ultimate sacrifice — previewing Men's Health editor and iron cocksman Dave Zinczenko's authoritative new book, Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women. Zinczenko, with his co-editor, MH contributor Ted Spiker, intend to generously decipher the mystery of testicles for women everywhere through their mastery of metaphor. Some examples:

Not one week since MSNBC's former president Rick Kaplan "stepped down" from his post, the fledgling network has promoted Dan Abrams to the position of general manager. This comes as bad news for fans of drowsy afternoon legal analysis, as it means he will no longer be hosting the Abrams Report (though he will, however, continue to act as NBC's chief legal correspondent, so we'll still get to watch Dan bat his pretty blue eyes on the Today show and Dateline).

Belatedly, we pass along a report from a Publishers Weekly subscriber who noticed a wraparound advertisement for Rodale Books affix to last week's issues. Among the motley crew of titles flacked by the health-and-wellness publisher: