Yeah, it's gotten this bad: President Obama will address the nation at 9:00 ET tonight about the debt ceiling negotiations, bringing this fresh hell to your teevee screen! What can you do? The guy loves giving speeches.

It must have been a long weekend for Missouri Rep. Billy Long, as he stared at the wall for hours at a time trying to to link the death of Amy Winehouse with our current debt ceiling debacle in 140 characters or less.

It's a brand new week in debt ceiling negotiations, as America teeters towards the brink of insane, self-inflicted collapse. Hooray!

The Senate has rejected House Republicans' favorite deficit-reduction plan, "Cut, Cap and Balance," on a 51-46 vote. Now, at least, the worst of the many bad pieces of legislation currently under consideration is gone.

Word has been trickling in from a variety of sources all day about the basic outline of a deficit-reduction deal that President Obama and Speaker John Boehner are nearing. While both sides are denying it in their preferred arenas — the White House through its spokesperson at a press conference, John Boehner with a telephone call to Rush Limbaugh — it still seems like we've got our hands on the latest trial balloon! Summary: It sucks for Democrats.

A couple of months ago, the Senate's bipartisan "Gang of Six" that was formed to broker a passable deficit-reduction deal broke apart, after some members realized that six senators cannot simply craft their own deal in private and expect everyone in Congress to pass it. But as of today, the Gang has reformed, with President Obama's blessing! And they have a plan, which still may or may not pass the House of Representatives.

The deadline for raising the debt ceiling—after which the U.S. is likely to default—is August 2. President Obama's birthday is August 4. Coincidence? Not according to America's stupidest congressman, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R - Texas)!

What will be the final budget-cuttin' number Congress agrees on before raising the debt ceiling, assuming they don't go with "the apocalypse option" instead? Two trillion? Four trillion? Nine trillion bajillion dollars? Let's go with "zero trillion but something that lets Republicans pretend to look tough anyway" as the probable end to this farce of a government negotiating process.

The world is tuning in with disbelief at House Republicans, who are still preparing to blow up everyone's precious global economy. House Republicans, meanwhile, are passing around a dumb blog post from RedState's Erick Erickson outlining supposedly good reasons for causing a Depression! Good heavens.

"I want what I want when I want it." — The quote accompanying House Majority Leader Eric Cantor's high school yearbook photo. Presumably he wanted the same thing he wants now: To whine about everything at all times.

President Obama, who deservedly hates his life right now, extended congressional leaders an invitation to his swanky mountain retreat at Camp David as a way to finish debt ceiling negotiations in private. But maybe also as a way to get drunk and party in the mountains? We're just trying to figure out a compelling reason to allow so many assholes into your vacation home. But no one wants to go, anyway. Ouch!

Like everyone else, we miss The West Wing. But it's okay! Democrats and Republicans are trying to put on their own community-theater version of the television program in Washington right now: House Majority Leader Eric Cantor interrupts the president! President Obama storms out of the meeting! And Donna is the victim of a hilarious misunderstanding!

The idiots who decided to extort the debt ceiling for their ideological demands, because they're incapable of making their non-arguments persuasively enough in the usual court of public opinion, are not getting nearly enough shit for their psychotic, economically illiterate actions. Now the United States has the credit rating agency Moody's on its ass and is placing the government's debt rating under review — not over the manageability or size of the debt, but thanks this completely artificial statutory number.

There's been what appears to be a seismic shift in ye olde debt ceiling developments this afternoon, thanks to the Senate's in-house turtle, Mitch McConnell. We're still waiting to hear the "catch," since Mitch McConnell is a brilliant, mischievous sociopath who ruined much of Obama's first two years in office. But he's released a new proposal this afternoon that looks a lot like, well, caving with a lame attempt to save face.

Today is an exciting day, because we've discovered that there is a silver lining to these excruciating debt ceiling negotiations that can serve as a palliative for our fatalist misery and depression.

Barack Obama performed the latest scene in his ongoing "last reasonable man in Washington" reelection act today, during an impromptu White House press conference following the latest semi-failure of a debt ceiling meeting. Democrats need to untwist their panties about cutting entitlements. Republicans need to stop being monsters. John Boehner, though, is a great guy. C'mon, people: let's stop the nonsense and eat some goddamn peas.

Prominent legal scholars, along with many bloggers with no legal training whatsoever, recently have been floating the possibility that if a deal isn't struck to raise the federal debt ceiling before Treasury's August 2 deadline, then the Obama administration should use a clause in the 14th Amendment to declare the debt ceiling itself unconstitutional and continue to issue debt as usual. An interesting idea! But the Obama administration now appears to have taken this "constitutional option" off the table.

Multiple senior House Democratic aides tell TPM that caucus members were caught off guard by news stories about President Obama's push for deeper deficit and spending reductions — and particularly about the White House's willingness to cut Social Security as part of a grand bargain to raise the debt limit.

Now here's a good headline for America: "Cantor Signals Flexibility On Tax Loopholes." Does this mean that during tomorrow's White House debt ceiling meeting, the House Majority Leader may in fact consider modest revenue increases as part of any deficit-reduction package? Finally? No, not really.

Conservative columnist David Brooks, the New York Times' chief over-the-counter muscle relaxant and civility enforcer, is finally getting upset with his political party as it prepares to plunge the nation into debt default for no real reason. Are you sure you want to do this, David? It's only a "D" credit rating that's looming on the horizon, after all.