He also set fire to the church library while smoking pot. This talk show host is a devil to work for, this singer had a secret baby, and this Oscar winner took tons of dirty pictures. What a manic Monday!

Are hats fashion? Should one base a dress on an accessory or an accessory on a dress? Why do orchids look like vaginas? These were the very important questions answered by Project Runway last night. We're still a little confused.

For a fiercely loyal clan, the guidos of Jersey Shore sure do engage in a lot of infidelity. In its wake comes conflict, destruction, and a scream heard 'round the world. What we can learn from such fickle creatures?

The Wall Street Journal takes a look inside TV writers rooms today, and learns important lessons about how TV writers are a vengeful lot, who will kill your character or turn a critic into a murderer as it pleases them.

You may think he's straight-laced, but he has the family help with his pot harvests. This celeb is battling with her famous mother, and this actor takes pictures of his co-stars' breasts. We know who is the real boob.

Well, more porn. And they need Mark Wahlberg's help. Also today: Glee gets totally rejected for once, Idris Elba has a scary new part, USA loves to renew its shows, and an important film is a success.

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons having interest in Top Chef Season 7 DC, are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the season is now screening. God save the long awaited exile!

Here's a trailer for Doug Liman's Fair Game, a political thriller about the CIA leak disaster that burned undercover operative Valerie Plame, possibly because her husband, Joe "Not the 'You Lie' Guy" Wilson was publicly critical of the Iraq war.

He fell off the wagon, dropped his pants, and dry humped a waiter! This actor was behaving strangely at a party, and another actor is bagging a tennis player's wife. Looks like his balls are in her court!

Warner Brothers cannot abide its cash-generating boy wizard's name being taken in vain. Especially when it comes to condoms. They're suing the makers of the Swiss condom brand "Harry Poppers" for copyright infringement. Google Translate, do your stuff!

Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is threatening to sue Piranha 3D for showing "someone loosely based on Joe Francis" screaming bloody murder while piranhas tear his penis from his body with their rusty saw blade teeth.

The story: A Paramount exec sent an email to a coworker, it was intercepted by Sharon Waxman's Nikke Finke voodoo doll The Wrap, and now everyone has it. Basically it lays out their upcoming slate of movies, and it's bleak.

Now that he's famous, he's even cheating on the women he cheats on his wife with. This Broadway actress is a coke head, and this singer is a frigid "never nude." At least that keeps her faithful.

Here's a trailer for Black Swan, Darren Aronofsky's moody-looking psychological thriller set in the competitive and cutthroat world of professional ballet. It looks creepy and interestingly filmed and could be an unsettling rumination on ambit— Oh, fuck it. They kiss.

It's true. Read no further if you don't want a big, gay hunk mystery spoiled. Also today: Some completely gross Battleship casting, a timely Gossip Girl cameo, and an alien-related war brews in Los Angeles.

Last night was part two of our Housewives journey to the old country. No, not the Old Country Buffet. To Italy — Italia, as foreigners call it — where we met the Jewdice family and learned lessons about travel budgeting.

In order to seem edgy, nearly every new TV comedy infuses itself with a sense of zaniness. Watching Weeds and The Big C last night, we saw one show do wacky right, and one do it horrendously wrong.

He'll have double the tabloid power when the press finds out about his other set of kids. A drunk actress flashed everyone. And an obvious someone got kicked off a reality show. Isn't this supposed to be a guessing game?

Here's a trailer for the much head-scratched-about documentary, I'm Still Here, about Joaquin Phoenix's descent into (faux) madness, abandoning his movie career and embarking on a rap career. His brother-in-law Casey Affleck directs and, judging from this, it's dumb.

This is David Ellison. He'd like to be in the movie business. Unfortunately, he's not very good at picking projects. But his dad is the sixth-richest person in the world. So now David Ellison is co-funding movies with Paramount Pictures.