This movie-going weekend, lots of people wanted to see the gods killing each other. And others wanted to see married couples trying to kill each other. And of course there were the Miley Cyrus lookie loos, who are creepy.

Everyone in Hollywood is in rehab these days, but these three souls are having a particularly rough time. This actor has a habit for strippers and another a habit for his male costars. Can we say no, no, no?

Clash of the Titans is finally open! But friends and reviewers told me that the 3D version is a rip off. But what about the "regular" version? Well, I might check it out if it had a better name.

Tonight is the premiere of CBS' new drama Miami Medical. If you haven't figured it out already, it's about medical people in Miami. Can't we give the doctors a rest? There are unexplored jobs that are fertile ground for television.

Project Runway is all about vision and delusion. The vision to foster young talent. The delusion it won't quit your silly show willy nilly. The vision to bring back a favorite. The delusion he shouldn't have been there all along.

Seriously. Its best actor is leaving the show, so just be done with it. Also today: more Captain America news, two directors sign on to two dubious sounding projects, and ABC Family has the saddest TV pilots.

At least no one took her picture lighting up. This actress wants a product placement deal for paparazzi photos. Another actress is trying to get any paparazzi attention at all. It's all as shitty as one media company's turd-filled lobby.

America's second worst television program had its fourth little episode last night and a variety of things happened. There were stylist disasters, broken wall sconces, ruined friendships, and, of course, Nazi hunters.

The latest season of MTV's long-running program ended last night like a geriatric poodle falling down a flight of stairs. The show and the audience have changed drastically since it started. It is time to put the old girl down.

On last night's eliminationapalooza, several things happened. A robot was given divine power. A pretty girl was scorned. A cutie patootie went skating again. And Puff Daddy Diddy P. shone a strobe light into our eyes and made us crazy.

Vogue editor André Leon Talley is the greatest thing about America's Next Top Model. How good was he at creating fashion insanity this week judging the show's vampire themed photo shoot? Let's look.

They've already found their new partners of the same sex—who are also celebs. Another famous couple is on the rocks because the husband is love with the wife's assistant. If three's a crowd, then what is four?

We learned last night—via press release—that the recently deceased actor Corey Haim has somehow communicated from beyond the grave that he "misses" D-list actress Hazel D'Jan. (Who, btw, needs to fire her publicist.)

It's true. He's been given the highest honor. Also today: Some good news for a beloved TV star, a celebrated director is taking a fantastic voyage, and Leonardo DiCaprio is stepping out on Marty.

[Tina Fey in Berlin after the premiere of her new movie "True Lies" "Into the Night" Date Night!; image via WENN]

Last night the ten folks already guaranteed to be wagon carting to a town near you this summer sang for their supper, with equal amounts misery and joy.

It's true! Dirty, dirty f'ing. Also today: Remember Stephen Dorff? You're about to. A terrible remake sounds terrible. Plus news about all of your favorite TV shows, from Veronica Mars to that other one.

At the end of a Jin/Sun-centric episode, last night we got a surprise visit from an old friend. What's this person doing back on our radar? Why was the entire episode, in essence, named after them? Spoiler Alert, duh.

It's the only stunt she can think of to stay famous. This actor is trying to stay relevant by switching TV shows and these two actresses ignore each other in public. Come on, kids. It's time to play nice.

[Actor Sam Worthington was so inundated with autograph seekers last night at LAX that he had to enlist a policeman to escort him through the terminal; image via Splash]