• Get ready for the Spider-Man ride at Disney World: Walt Disney has agreed to pay $4 billion in cash and stock to acquire Marvel Entertainment. [NYT, WSJ]
• Because she was clearly the very best person for the job, Jenna Bush has signed on with the Today show. The daughter of the former president will be contributing stories "about once a month on issues like education." [THR]
• The Final Destination was No. 1 at the box office this weekend with a $28.3 million take; Inglourious Basterds came in No. 2 with $20 million. [THR]
• Newsstand magazine sales continue to fall. Single-copy sales fell 12 percent during the first half of the 2009 compared to the same period in 2008. [AP]
• NBC's new slogan for its fall marketing campaign? "More colorful." [Variety]

It was announced today that Disney shelled out $4 billion for Marvel Entertainment, Inc. Not only does it now own Spider-Man, the X-Men, and Iron Man, but is also in business with almost every Hollywood studio. What a tangled web!

Disney sent representatives and stars to last month's Comic-Con, but apparently the company isn't content with collective marketing, because they're launching their own event, the D23 Expo.

Three Disney World employees have died at work in the last month and a half. Disney World is a hellish soul-eating death vortex.

• The next top editor to fall victim to budget cuts at Condé Nast, at least according to Keith Kelly: Architectural Digest editor Paige Rense. [NYP]
• The first guest on Jay Leno's new show on Sept. 14: Jerry Seinfeld. [THR]
• Jay, Conan, Jon, Jimmy, Jimmy, or Craig? Now more than ever, celeb (and their publicists) are being forced to choose between late-night hosts. [THR]
• At least a dozen advertisers have abandoned Glenn Beck's show now that he's established himself as the most vile human being on television. [NYT]
• A big group of media companies—including CBS, NBC, Disney, News Corp., and Viacom—have teamed up to give the Nielsen ratings a run for its money. [NYT]

• Vibe is rising from the dead. A group of investors led by former cable exec Leo Hindery and its luxury magazine publisher Uptown Media have acquired the magazine. They plan to resurrect the website in a few weeks. [WSJ]
• Laura Ling is shopping a book proposal with her sister, Lisa Ling. [WSJ]
• Twitter was the victim of another denial-of-service attack yesterday. [NYT]
• Facebook is testing out something called "Facebook Lite," which may or may not be a Twitter competitor, depending whom you ask. [ABC News, Guardian]
• CBS had planned to change up this year's Emmy Awards. But then everyone complained, so now it plans to go back to the way it was. [THR]
• A launch party for a new magazine? Could it be? Really? [AdAge]

Disney and David Mamet are working on a new film version of ninth grade staple The Diary of Anne Frank. We only pray there will be no cursing riffs, animated mice, or musical numbers. [Variety]

In a move sure to inspire more film-geek loin-warming than Monica Bellucci, Disney has fired the unbelievably horrible Ben Lyons, who pronounced I Am Legend "one of the greatest movies ever made," and Ben Mankiewicz, as At the Movies co-hosts.

• Reed Elsevier is planning to sell a bunch of publications, including Broadcasting & Cable, Publishers Weekly and Multichannel News. [THR]
• Rodale's president and CEO, Steve Murphy, has resigned. [Gawker]
• Disney reports third-quarter profit fell 26 percent from the same quarter a year ago. Sony posted a loss for the quarter, as well. [AP, Reuters]
• Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia reported a loss, but beat estimates. [NYP]
• TLC's been having a pretty good year, in case you haven't heard. [LAT]
• Amy Poehler is coming back to SNL. Just part-time, though. [Vulture]
• Maria Bartiromo has locked in a new five-year contract with CNBC. [VF]
• Dustin "Screech" Diamond's tell-all memoir will be published, after all! [NYO]

• After two very unsuccessful years as co-chairman of NBC Entertainment, Ben Silverman is finally leaving the company. He's teaming up with Barry Diller's IAC to start some sort of vague media/advertising firm. He'll be replaced by Jeff Gaspin, who headed up NBC's cable unit until now. [NYT, NYT, DF]
• Disney's G-Force topped Harry Potter at the box office this weekend. [THR]
• Remember Friendster? It's up for sale, in case you're interested. [PC]
• HBO is the most "gay-friendly cable network," according to GLAAD. [Reuters]

• BusinessWeek's Jon Fine reports that New York owner Bruce Wasserstein may be in the running to break out a dollar bill and buy BusinessWeek. [BW]
• ESPN banned New York Post employees from appearing on the network yesterday after the paper ran (blurry) pics of a nude Erin Andrews. [AP]
• Will will happen with McKinsey consultants now infiltrating Condé Nast? How should you behave if you work there? Some answers and tips. [NYM, Gawker]
• Martha Stewart loves Twitter, doesn't particularly care for Facebook. [TDB]
• Kate Major, the Jon Gosselin-loving, publicity-seeking reporter for publicity-seeking Star magazine, has resigned from the junky tabloid. [Star]
• Ad revenue fell precipitously, but the New York Times Co. reported second-quarter profits of $39.1 million, up from $21.1 million a year ago. [NYT]
• Related: Is the Times Co. planning to hang on to the Boston Globe? [E&P]
• America's most trusted newscaster? That would be Jon Stewart. [Time]

The Way We Live Now: Disneyfied! You can buy into Disney's simulacrum of an American community right now—cheap! It's the only place left without wild dogs roaming the trash-filled deserted main streets.

At Walt Disney World in Orlando, around 2 A.M last night: two monorails collided. One employee piloting the monorail was killed, no tourists were seriously injured.

• New York Times reporter David Rohde, who was held hostage in Afghanistan for seven months, managed to escape on Friday night. The Taliban had reportedly been seeking $25-30 million in ransom; the newspaper, meanwhile, is rumored to have offered $5 million for his safe release. [NYT, AP, ABC, CQ]
• The negotiations in Boston continue: The Boston Globe and its largest union are close to an agreement on wage and benefit cuts. Or so they say. [BG]
• Ratings for The Fashion Show haven't been great (and Project Runway is fast approaching), but Bravo execs say they're pleased with the results. [NYT]
• Disney's The Proposal topped the box office this weekend, pulling in $34.1 million and knocking The Hangover into second place. [THR]

• Is Harvey and Bob Weinstein's film company headed for bankruptcy? That remains unclear, although the Weinstein Co's decision to hire Miller Buckfire to restructure its finances isn't a good sign, that's for sure. [NYT]
• Members of the Boston Newspaper Guild are voting today whether to accept the package of pay cuts proposed by the New York Times Co. [PC]
• Stephen Colbert is broadcasting from Iraq this week. In addition to an interview with the president, Colbert will get a military-style makeover. [NYT]
• Journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor by a North Korean court late last night. The Obama administration has vowed to keep up its lobbying effort. And in the meantime, employees at Current TV—where both women work—continue to keep quiet about the matter, per instructions from network management. [NYT, AP, NYT]

• Conan O'Brien makes his debut this evening as Tonight Show host. [BN, EW]
• Bravo is ditching its tagline "Watch what happens" and replacing it with "By Bravo." We'll just have to watch and see what happens with that. [AdAge]
• More on the recent ratings meltdown at CNN. [Politico]
• The Times Magazine will be 9 percent smaller starting in two weeks. [E&P]
• DirectTV chief Chase Carey is in talks to join News Corp. as Rupert Murdoch's second-in command, taking over for Peter Chernin. [THR, BN]
• Disney's animated pic Up was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [THR]
• New York's cover story on Condé Nast, in case you missed it. [NYM]

• How are things going at the Cannes Film Festival? It depends on who you talk to. The Journal says it's been "conspicuously less frenzied" and business has been "slow." The Hollywood Reporter says it's beating expectations and "doomsayers" have been "proven wrong." Take your pick. [WSJ, THR]
• NBC is dropping Medium and My Name Is Earl for the fall, but bringing back Chuck. It's also renewed Law & Order for a 20th season. [NYT, AP, NYT]
• What can you expect on ABC this fall? More Dancing With the Stars. [THR]
• CBS is ditching Without A Trace, but has renewed Numb3rs. [EW]
• Time Warner Cable is dropping HDNet and HDNet Movies as May 31. [MC]

The notoriously unsexy People's Republic of China is trying to shed their rep for flaccid views on sexuality. In fact, a sex-oriented theme park is rising right now.

• Walt Disney reported that profits plunged 46% last quarter. [Variety, WSJ]
• Mort Zuckerman's plan to save newspapers involves bingo. Really! [NYM]
• The New York Times Co. has reached a deal with the unions at the Boston Globe, although it may take a few weeks to vote on the compromise. [E&P]
• NBC's Washington headquarters is contaminated with asbestos! [NYO]
• Tricky Dylan Ratigan isn't joining ABC after all. He's going to MSNBC. [Gawker]
• Michael Wolff may hate the New York Times, but if it weren't for the Times, he'd probably have nothing to rant about on his unknown website. [HP]
• Amazon unveiled its fancy, new Kindle reader today. [NYT, E&P]

The extraterrestrials at Hulu have staged another coup in their bid to take over television. Disney has struck up a deal with the online video site, meaning we get ABC shows now.