This delightful nugget about an early Sarah Palin encounter with her possible presidential rival's ex-wife comes from the April 3, 1993 edition of the Anchorage Daily News:

Shrieking low-brow parody of capitalism Donald Trump has weighed in on his chances of siphoning African-American voters from President Obama in their pretend presidential race: "I have a great relationship with the blacks." Care to respond, The Blacks?

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've undoubtedly seen Donald Trump spouting his "Obama wasn't born in this country" nonsense all over the place in recent weeks. Tonight, using the unlikeliest of allies—Michele Bachmann! Bill O'Reilly!—Jon Stewart put Trump's ridiculousness into perspective.

Pouty fathead Donald Trump is a tailor-made character for the New York Observer, which purports to monitor Manhattan's smug oligarchy with a gimlet-eyed detachment. And his semi-coherent presidential grumblings, which count as news just about everywhere else, make ideal grist for the Observer's mill. Too bad he's the owner's father-in-law.

Presidential candidate Mitt "Willard" Romney ceded tremendous ground to his main rival, pretend candidate and bloated carnival act Donald Trump, on CNBC yesterday, telling Larry Kudlow that he is not a Birther.

Mitt Romney surprised no one yesterday when he announced that he's running for president in 2012. What does this mean for some of the other prospective candidates, like Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump? On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it down for us.

Donald Trump is not nearly as generous with money as he is with opinions: Between 1990 and 2009 the aspiring presidential candidate gave only $3.7 million of his (purported) billions to his own charity.

In lieu of drafting a letter to the editor or posting a comment, Donald Trump has responded to a Vanity Fair blog post by printing it out, writing insults on it, and mailing it to editor Graydon Carter with an embossed calling card. He's the closest thing America has to royalty.

Weekends now serve no other purpose than to tease the entire American nation for two horrible days before each week's new Fox and Friends segment, Monday Mornings with Trump. Well we've got this week's clip!

Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin believes President Obama was born in Hawaii. She said so just yesterday! But even so, she "appreciates" failed businessman Donald Trump's (very public) quest to discover the president's true origins.

Loud person Donald Trump, who is running for president from the Insane Internet Commenter wing of the Republican Party, has decided that not enough people are paying attention to him. So he wrote a letter to The New York Times!

Because putting his name on Trump Tea, Trump Steaks, Trump Ties, Trump Water, Trump Vodka, Trump Towers, and possibly Trump/Hasselbeck 2012 election posters wasn't enough, Donald Trump just acquired a Virginia vineyard so he can make Trump Wine.

Charlie Sheen arrived in New York City today on his "Torpedo of Truth" tour. So where's he going to stay considering no hotel in town would have him a few days ago? Donald J. Trump to the rescue!

Donald Trump's latest stop on his pretend presidential campaign that's solely designed to boost ratings for The Celebrity Apprentice was an interview with Meredith Vieira on this morning's Today show, where he discussed Barack Obama's birth certificate. He now has his own "investigators" in Hawaii digging around for it, and they "cannot believe what they're finding." That's hilarious. How is that not hilarious? Mitt Romney only wishes he'd thought of this first.

New Hampshire's Republican voters will have so many wonderful candidates to choose from in the first 2012 presidential primary, but two of them rise above the field.

You're treading on some bizarre, uncharted territory if Glenn Beck says you're making him "a little uncomfortable" with rants about bombing China and questioning whether or not Barack Obama is a secret Muslim without a birth certificate. But that's what Donald Trump has done, after his lengthy interview with Bill O'Reilly earlier in the week. Watch for yourself courtesy of "Birther Report," ha.

Sublime television clown Donald Trump's pretend presidential candidacy is chugging along splendidly as it rains gold, laughs, and a deeper appreciation for the surreal across this great nation. It's fun to write about, it's chilling to read about, and it's lucrative for Donald Trump. His Celebrity Apprentice ratings are up, he's getting more headlines than any other "real" GOP presidential contenders, and now he's landed another television gig. This why he's running a pretend presidential campaign, of course, and the con should keep bearing fruit until he suddenly "drops out" of the race to spend more time with his latest family, during sweeps week.

On tonight's Factor, brand new birther Donald Trump chatted with Bill O'Reilly about Iraq, Iran, Libya, and that dirty socialist Barack Obama. Trump's solution for the Middle East? 1) Stay there, 2) hoard the oil, 3) ???????, 4) profit!

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart—during an "Indecision 2012" segment—opened with discussion of potential Republican presidential candidates for 2012 and the need for them to desperately appeal to what amounts to a pretty ridiculous base of voters.

Reality TV blowhard, presumptive presidential candidate, and personal brand run rampant Donald Trump has been offered a makeover for his infamously surreal hairstyle. We're sure he gets these offers all the time, but this one was made by Oprah Winfrey. It's good as done.