A German man admitted in court that he drugged his girlfriend’s tea one summer night last year so she wouldn’t interrupt his computer game session with a friend. He confessed his crime to her the day after it happened, and was finally convicted of assault this week. He’ll be fined 500 euros.

An aged New York doctor and his wife were arrested at their Upper West Side home on Tuesday, accused of supplying the city’s black market with over 3 million oxycodone pills since 2009, USA Today reports.

Never trust anyone is pretty much the message a New York woman is sending after outsourcing her dog walking needs.

I’ve done a lot of things while tripping on mushrooms. I’ve eaten meals, taken walks in the park, even closed my eyes and chilled out to my favorite tunes. But, until a few weeks ago, I’d never won first place—and $5,000—in a Magic: the Gathering tournament.

Ross Ulbricht, the young “California geek” who became the internet’s most notorious drug lord and began a still-raging debate over online privacy and liberty, will spend the rest of his life in prison.

It all started in the 50-acre park known as Lackie’s Bush in Barrie, Ontario, Canada on Tuesday. It was early evening, barely even six p.m., when two local teens decided to take some drugs.

“Afghanistan has around 500,000 acres, or 780 square miles, of opium-growing land, which is the same as 400,000 football fields, including the end zones.” American nation-builders: like a Roger Goodell for the entire world!

“Even as more states embrace legal marijuana, shops say they are being forced to pay crippling federal income taxes because of a decades-old law aimed at preventing drug dealers from claiming their smuggling costs and couriers as business expenses on their tax returns.” Taxman harshing your mellow? You’re not alone.

AirBnb has agreed to compensate the owners of a Calgary home that was thoroughly destroyed in a “drug-induced orgy” while four people were renting it through the online service.

Florida truly seems like a terrifying place to live, and a new video out of Palm Beach county really does nothing to help the image of the freaky state as one big lawless, drug-induced hallucination.

A Brooklyn man led New Jersey State Police on a 25-mile chase up the Garden State Parkway before crashing his car and being arrested, the New York Daily News reports. Police said that the driver had, amongst other things, 80 pounds of “marijuana candy” in his car.

If you gazed skyward in New York City on this sunny 4/21, you may have glimpsed an airplane-borne banner over the Hudson River celebrating and poking fun at our mayor’s widely rumored cannabis habit. “De Blasio Get On The Pot,” it read. “We [weed leaf] NYPD.”

The increasing legality of marijuana means one thing: Pot is very easy to buy and no longer cool to do. To fill this thrill-void, our country's idiots are turning to insane substances like krokodil, bath salts, jenkum, meow meow and now flakka, transforming into psychotic murder machines in the process. Or so local news would have us believe.

On Friday afternoon, two narcotics officers with the Burbank, Calif., police department reportedly showed up at Tom DeVocht's door on an anonymous tip—complete with dubious photographic evidence—that the former Scientology executive was selling drugs in the area. The documentary Going Clear, in which DeVocht appeared as an interviewee, had premiered on HBO five days before. Was the apparent frame job the church's way of getting revenge?

After a Maryland man allegedly stripped naked, broke into a neighbor's apartment, punched a mother and tried to steal her child, the suspect's roommate attributed the episode to "bad weed" and suggested it was not his fault, WJLA reports.

Capital New York reports that "Columbia University students are bugging out" after their favorite, smartphone-compatible drug dealer was busted by the cops. You'd think a bunch of Ivy Leaguers wouldn't need to be reminded, but paying for drugs with an app that logs the exact details of a transaction is a bad idea.

Anchorage police served search warrants at the Alaska Cannabis Club on Friday, KTVA Alaska reports. The Alaska Cannabis Club is owned by Charlene Egbe, also known as Charlo Greene, also known as the "Fuck it, I quit" reporter.

Last fall, a sixth-grader in Virginia was suspended for 364 days and charged with possession of an illicit drug, punishment for violating his school's drug policy. His crime? Having a leaf in his backpack that looked like, but conclusively wasn't, marijuana.

According to Wikipedia, Gigi Hadid is "an American fashion model and TV personality." The C-lister now says she is definitely not blowing a line of cocaine in the above image, which her dumbass B-list musician boyfriend shared online. Do you believe her?

Good news, substance-dependent lads and lasses: For a limited time only, possession of your favorite embarrassing club drugs—including meth, ecstasy and ketamine—is legal in Ireland.