Super Tuesday was very good to Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, who both won in seven states, demonstrating a broad base of support across the country.

[via NBC7 in Boston, h/t DJP]

Tonight, as Chris Christie introduced Donald Trump and stood by him during his resounding victory speech, we got to witness the exact moment that the beautiful light in Chris Christie’s soul forever dimmed. Chris—it’s not too late, and no man deserves this fate. Please, blink twice for help.

Welcome, patriots, to what history will almost certainly see as the night America sealed its gruesome fate. That’s right—it’s Donald Trump Victory Night. And judging by the various primaries and caucuses thus far, it’s sure to be a night we’ll never forget. No matter how hard we try.

In a speech celebrating his (in all likelihood) universal defeat on Tuesday, Marco Rubio courageously admitted Donald Trump’s supremacy. “He loves to talk about polls? We are seeing in state after state: His numbers coming down, our numbers going up.”

In a statement on Tuesday, Ben Carson lamented the “lack of civility” in the Republican primary race, which he said has become an “embarrassment on the world stage.” During the debate last week, Carson pleaded, “Can someone please attack me?”

On Tuesday, Bill Clinton sprinted around Massachusetts, putting in appearances at a variety of polling places, stumping for his wife, and skirting state rules for Election Day campaigning. One New Bedford woman posted a video showing long lines that accrued as voters were forced to wait for Clinton to leave.

Marco Rubio is almost certainly not going to come out of Super Tuesday a winner. This isn’t really in dispute, even by the people who work for him, who today explained to their most important funders that the Rubio campaign isn’t planning on winning any Super Tuesday states, or maybe even any states at all, ever.

Earlier today, Max Linsky, a co-founder of Longform, saw a supposed 20-minute delay at La Guardia turn into something closer to a 45-minute delay. And as he looked out the window, who does he see zipping by but Donald Trump himself. If you’re going to insist on being a fascist, the least you can do is be an efficient fascist.

Ben Carson’s campaign admits he doesn’t have a shot in hell at winning the GOP primary but won’t rule out a literal miracle making it happen.

It’s been nine long days since Jeb decided to stop punishing himself and finally end what was left of his campaign. So how’s our sweet, sad boy holding up? According to his most recent Snapchat, Jeb is either doing better than ever or has finally lost it. It’s impossible to say for sure.

Ohhhh boy. Louis Farrakhan, the Nation of Islam leader and prominent black activist and minister, is a fan of Donald Trump. Can you guess why? The Republican frontrunner “is the only mem­ber who has stood in front of Jew­ish com­mu­nity, and said I don’t want your money,” Farrakhan said in a speech Sunday.

Early yesterday morning, Donald Trump decided to retweet a Benito Mussolini quote originally posted by Twitter bot that Gawker had made several months ago, expressly for the purpose of goading Trump into retweeting a Benito Mussolini quote. In sending out that one little tweet, Donald Trump proved the point we had in mind when we created that bot: to show that Trump’s rhetoric is often indistinguishable from that of history’s most vainglorious and authoritarian fascist dictators—Benito Mussolini, specifically.

Donald Trump and Chris Christie were friends before each began running for president, and they’re certainly friends now that Christie is campaigning on Trump’s behalf as his first major establishment endorsement. But in the months between those periods—when Trump appeared to be little more than a nuisance to party favorites like Christie, before eventually overtaking them all—the two sniped at each other with fervor.

In 2013's beloved animated feature, Barbie & Her Sisters in A Pony Tale, Barbie (and her sisters) find themselves going up against malicious riding master Philippe Cheynet in an effort to win the Big Horse Tournament. Philippe, of course, ultimately loses, but even more devastating for the villain: He looks uncannily like presidential candidate and noted lizard person Ted Cruz.

Is Donald Trump a fascist? Experts, historians, and pundits have debated the question for months. One thing has been certain for a while now: He tweets like one. That’s why, last year, Gawker’s Ashley Feinberg created a Twitter bot that would post quotes from the writings and speeches of the Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, but with all of them attributed to businessman and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. This morning, he retweeted that account.

Despite being the frontrunner for the Republican nomination, Donald Trump’s campaign is predicated on being non-traditional and non-presidential. So it’s perhaps no surprise that today he forcefully resisted a call to reveal any of his tax returns, which is a routine part of the election process.

Big boy (who is sick of being treated like a little kid!!) Marco Rubio is mad. So mad, in fact, that he spent a good four minutes of his stump speech this morning trying to rail on Donald Trump. This included—but was not limited to—reading Trump’s misspelled tweets from his phone, effectively calling Trump a spoiled wimp, and insinuating that Trump urinated on himself during last night’s debate. Welcome to hell.

If this whole “being president” thing doesn’t work out, Donald Trump’s company is ready to get the big man back in the casino business. A capital idea!

A new national survey from Public Policy Polling has confirmed what we all already knew to be true: As far as a good portion of the American public is concerned, Ted Cruz might as well be the Zodiac killer.