The real ideological battle in the Republican primary will not be over taxes, or foreign policy, or immigration. Rather, it is a contest to find who will capture the valuable “Racist Hick Football Fan” demographic.
Jeb Bush, who try as he might just isn’t so great at the business of running for president, was at an event in South Carolina today, where he was asked about school shootings like the massacre in Oregon yesterday. The two-word key phrase at the center of his response: “Stuff happens.”
Given her lack of any real political experience, former candidate for senator of California and current republican candidate for president Carly Fiorina has been touting (what she claims to be) her revered and profitable tenure as former HP CEO as a sign of what she could do for the nation if given the chance. Which is why it’s too bad that, of the 302,000 current HP employees, not a single one has donated a reportable amount to Carly Fiorina’s campaign.
Today, Wisconsin governor Scott Walker finally abandoned a presidential campaign that had been taking on water for months. But did he drop out simply because he can’t win, or is there something more to it?
After polling at a humiliating (less than) one-half of one percent, Scott Walker has apparently realized that, maybe, 2016 just isn’t his year. At a press conference set for 6 p.m. Eastern, Walker is expected to withdraw his candidacy.
While tonight’s Late Show interview with Bernie Sanders was absent any of the respective tears or deep, deep discomfort that characterized Colbert’s two biggest moments so far (and at least compared to every other candidate interview we’ve seen), Sanders still manages to leave you with the impression that the man is just so goddamn human.
Until today, Donald Trump’s campaign website had a “positions” page that outlined his stance on just a single issue: immigration. (Deport every undocumented person and build a wall along the border with Mexico.) Now he’s got a second position, on gun control. Congratulations, Donald! Chugging right along.
Everybody hates the guy on Amtrak who talks too loudly—I assume, because I’ve never ridden Amtrak, but it seems like something people complain about. But what if that guy is a close advisor of a potential presidential candidate and is spilling need-to-know-info all over the so-called “café car?”
Reality is the most terrifying game of all.
Last night’s GOP debate showed idiot-shepherd Donald Trump lean away from his usually rhetorical tactic of bragging about money, and instead embracing babies. Babies, babies, babies—the man is crazy for babies. Baby? Babe?
If you watched tonight’s GOP debate, you probably didn’t learn anything important, but you definitely now know that a lot of people want to be the Republican Party’s nominee for president. Like so many people! So many, in fact, that trying to keep track of them all has become its own grim, profoundly absurd contest.
Tonight at 8pm, 11 GOP candidates for President of the United States will stand up on stage for the chance to see who can cram the most racist tirades against immigrants into the span of three hours. And we’ll be liveblogging every godforsaken second of it.
Donald Trump, a person who will never be president, has nevertheless been the nexus of the American media’s coverage of the 2016 presidential campaign season, an event which is nominally about determining who will be president in 2016. This dynamic will not change in tonight’s Republican debate. As long as it’s going to continue, don’t you wonder what he’d do if he were actually elected?
At 8 p.m. Eastern, the top eleven candidates for the Republican nomination for the presidency will take the stage at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California, to embarrass themselves, their loved ones, and the country they hope to lead as they vie for a chance to run this great nation into the ground. Again.
Lynchburg, VA—Amos 5:24- But let justice roll on like a river, and righteousness like a never-failing stream.
Bobby Jindal and whatever remaining social media-literate staff he has left have spent the last 24 hours doing their best impression of a Trump smear campaign, calling the time-displaced Sopranos extra “not serious,” “a narcissist, “an egomaniac,” “a carnival act,” “a very weak and small person,” and “dangerous.” All of which are both true and perhaps some of the most honest, biting, and uninhibited criticism of Trump to come from a GOP candidate yet—from a proud anti-gay exorcist, no less.
