At what point does empathy for elfin British pop singer Lily Allen begin to dry up? So far this year she's had a miscarriage, broke up with her lover and lost a contract to Agent Provocateur. Last night she got drunk at the GQ Men Of The Year awards, drunkenly told off her co-host Elton John, got in a big fight with her future sister in law and infuriated police by revealing details of a secret kidnapping. Fun to watch (click the video icon to do so), but telling Elton John "fuck off... I'm 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me: probably does not enhance Allen's chances of retaining her BBC Three show, which she still has not yet lost. Unfortunately, if Allen is on the typical cycle of starlet drunkenness, she has further to fall before the rehab and bounceback. [Daily Mail, Dan News]

• The lawsuit between Donald Trump and Times reporter Timothy O'Brien continues: A judge has ordered Arthur Sulzberger Jr. to submit to a deposition, which the publishing scion isn't all that happy about. [P6]

A new book claiming to unveil "fun, fascinating facts" about celebrities and their drug habits may just be a collection of ancient quotes and anecdotes. As the NY Post reports today, The Curious World Of Drugs And Their Friends promises sordid tales involving Lindsay Lohan and details from her substance-fueled evenings before cokepants and trees put them on the back burner, but the story they cite from a "friend" sounds eerily familiar to one of our favorite classic Lohanisms from over a year ago. And the celebrities quoted as being "unable to talk to anyone without a nose full of cocaine," and having "spent the first 35 years of my life in a fog" due to drugs have either kicked their habits long ago or already (endlessly) confirmed to the world that they were once big league nose candy fans. The stars "featured," and exactly how dusty these quips are, after the jump.

This is just going to lead to so, so many regrettable "bitch" jokes, isn't it.

Even though Hollywood's A-List was deprived of a chance to eat and drink on Vanity Fair's dime last night, two fiestas proved that celebrities will not let a little thing like tradition get in the way of a night of free booze and swag. Elton John's Annual AIDS Foundation Oscar Party usually has a strong turnout of power players, but the star wattage at the 16th incarnation of the bash last night was a few standard deviations past the norm, thanks mainly to the absence of Graydon Carter's soiree. Highlights included Tilda Swinton kissing her Oscar in some sort of Buddhist mating ritual, as well as the public debut of Hollywood's newest power couple, Sean Penn and Petra Nemcova. We've got pictures after the jump.

[Sharon Stone and Elton John at John's annual Oscar party in Los Angeles last night; Image: Wireimage via PageSix]Click for larger.

• Britney Spears hanger-on Sam Lutfi must henceforth keep 250 yards from the singer because as Britney's mom reminded us, he "gave Britney Spears pills ground up in her food to keep her quiet and at one point he told Britney she had to take 10 pills a day if she wanted to see her two young children." [Reuters]

Cancel those ends of days-Ingrid Sischy isn't leaving Interview, she's just on vacation with Sir Elton John. In South Africa. Naturally! The magazine's executive editor Brad Goldfarb tells us it's a "long-planned" annual trip and that he's been working with Sischy by phone all week. She'll be "back at her desk Monday," he said. Phew! Also, never mind!

• Jim McGreevey is so gay, having sex with only one man does not satisfy him! He craves still more man-sex! [Page Six]
  

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Val Kilmer imparting some surfer wisdom to his son at a Santa Monica surf shop.

· Celine Dion, the French Canadian chanteuse extraordinaire with seemingly insurmountable daddy issues, will be premiering a new song at the Oscars: "I Knew I Loved You," an Ennico Morricone composition with all new lyrics by Alan and Marilyn "Papa Can You Hear Me?" Bergman. [AP]
· Five time Grammy nominee James Blunt will be performing at Elton John's annual Oscar party at the Pacific Design Center. Whether that's an improvement or not over last year's entertainment, triple Grammy winner John Legend, we couldn't tell you, though it doesn't exactly surprise us that Elton's a real adult-contemporary Grammy whore. [ABCNews]
· Melissa Etheridge, nominated for An Inconvenient Truth's "I Need to Wake Up," compares the Oscars to the Grammys: "Being an Oscar nominee is a hundred times more intense. It's old school. They have rules—and they do things by the rules. The Grammys are more laid back." Translation: You're far less likely to stumble across a hastily scrawled sign reading, "DOIN SOME GROUPIES. DO NOT DISTURB" backstage at the Oscars. (But it's not out of the realm of possibility.) [LA Daily News]
· Bill Condon is putting together a Dreamgirls reunion performance, featuring Jennifer Hudson and "my Dreamgirls sisters," as she put it at Monday's luncheon. They'll start rehearsing just as soon as they can convince an increasingly unhinged Beyoncé to emerge from the bathroom in which she's been running a lipstick over her mouth while rocking back and forth and repeating, "You're still prettier, babygirl!" since last Thursday. [Orlando Sentinel]

With only five party-planning days left 'til Hollywood Christmas, there is still so very much to be done to ensure the ensuing after-parties are sufficiently grossly overdone and insensitive to much of everything else going on in the world. To the rescue comes Oscar fete-giver non-pareil Elton John, who will be throwing out every stop short of a solid Godiva climbing-wall erupting in nougat on the half-hour to siphon A-list guests away from his arch Oscar party rival, the Vanity Fair shindig:

A correction to a THR report on Elton John's ABC comedy pilot Him and Us has been winding its way around the Reuters wires:

Here's a nice lesson in why you must never, ever tell the truth about a bitchy queen with a good publicist. (Or: Here's a lesson in why all Hollywood journalism is inherently bullshit because it's all so publicist-mediated.)

We received a tip late yesterday about some seemingly inconsequential new Hollywood awards show, the Golden Groundhog Awards. Set for February 2, the Groundhogs are designed, according to the promotional website, to "recognize genuinely outstanding films from the previous year that lacked the distribution and marketing support needed to propel them into the public consciousness." That is to say, they must have grossed less than $1 million worldwide.

• While you were limping up and down Broadway and losing digits to hypothermia, rest assured union leader Roger Toussaint was enjoying a leisurely two-hour meal with six cronies at a nice restaurant. Would you be any less livid if we noted the restaurant was in Harlem? Yeah, didn't think so. [Page Six]
• Last year, Lloyd Grove banished Paris Hilton from his column and went on the Today show to tell the world. This year, he's banishing Brad Pitt, but you won't see Lloyd on TV to talk about it — perhaps because he is making a very, very grave mistake. Put down the pipe, G, and get it together. [Lowdown]
• Don't get in a tizzy about OK! editor Sarah Ivens sucking face with ad exec Ben Kennedy — she's been separated from her husband since October. Suck freely, liberated lady! [Gatecrasher]
• Broke-ass Courtney Love is looking to sell the entire song catalogue of her late husband Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. Those of you still mentally stuck in Seattle circa 1993 are no doubt displeased. [Page Six]
• Elton John continues to call Madonna a miserable cow. You'd think legally sanctioned assfucking would mellow him out a bit, but you'd be wrong. [Scoop]

· Forget about that Jesus guy, He-Man and She-Ra are the central characters in the greatest Christmas story ever told. [via cityrag]
· Perhaps the worst thing about not having an indispensable mass transit system is missing out on all the wildcat strike sex.
· Garish neckbrace model Brooke Burns is now an outspoken advocate of the buddy system.
· Elton John was genuinely enjoying his "joint stag party" with partner David Furnish, but no matter how much he tried to think about their upcoming civil union ceremony, his thoughts were filled with Bruno.
· If you were worried that Leo DiCaprio was going to have a hard time rebounding from Gisele, you can put your mind at ease. He seems to be doing just fine.

· Our favorite review of the week, courtesy of the LAT's Carina Chocano: "Rent is commodified faux bohemia on a platter, eliciting the same kind of numbing soul-sadness as children's beauty pageants, tiny dogs in expensive boots, Mahatma Gandhi in Apple ads. It's about art, activism and counterculture in the same way that a poster of a kitten hanging from a tree branch ("Hang in There!") is about commitment and heroic perseverance."
· Borat answers the Kazakhstan government's charges: "I like to state, I have no connection with Mr Cohen and fully support my government's position to sue this Jew."
· The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke reports that Steven Spielberg will eschew the Oscar-campaign blitzkrieg typical of high-profile movies like his Munich, choosing to let the work stand on its own over sending out boxes full of "For Your Consideration" ski masks to Academy members.
· AD's George Michael laments Fox's lack of promotion for his show, tips us off that the Tobias hair-plug storyline is about to get really dark.
· Celeb MarriageWatch: Elton John and his partner plan a civil union in Britain, while Peter Brady and that ANTM chick selflessly protect the sanctity of traditional marriage by getting hitched on VH1.

• Battle of the meatheady Greek shipping heirs: Paris Hilton's new beau, Stavros Niarchos, exchanges heated words with her former fiancé, Paris Latsis. Then Niarchos vomits all over the club, because that's how Greek shipping heirs solve all their disputes. [R&M]
• Smackeriffic rocker Pete Dougherty has checked into the Meadows rehab center in Arizona — the very same clinic where ex-girlfriend Kate Moss underwent treatment last month. In this case, we're not so sure imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. [Page Six]
• Legendary diva Elton John will finally marry his longtime partner, David Furnish, on December 21, the first day civil partnerships of the Gays will be recognized in England. Congrats to Furnish, who no doubt has secured himself a lifetime of temper tantrums and ass-whippings. [NYDN]
• In a real estate "turkey" roundup, lofts at 30 Crosby Street are suddenly considered part of TriBeCa. Awesome — does that mean we can make Harlem part of the East Village? [Page Six]

A reader sends in background information on Calvin Klein's Joan Rivers outburst after Monday's little incident at the Knicks game: